tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7848647077506893732024-02-20T13:55:36.010-08:00Manic MissyThis blog is a bit all over the place, just like me! You'll get family stories, movie reviews, politics, personal views, book reviews, funny bits & pieces of my heart Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.comBlogger620125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-88154318740293166512022-02-24T20:51:00.002-08:002022-02-24T20:51:39.328-08:00... the work gods listened So I was just re-reading my last post, & by the end I was smiling from ear to ear. A few days after posting it, one of my husband's closest friends tells my husband about a position at his work that just became available that might be perfect for me. It's in their marketing department as a marketing assistant. After hearing about the job, it's just exactly what I have been wanting to do for years! It would involve working on their website, helping with blogs, and social media content. I love being on social media and have dreamt of a job with elements of that involved. In fact it's kind of funny cause I used to throw it out there to my friends and family that I would handle their social media accounts for them ie: blogs, podcast, businesses, etc. Anything that they were trying to draw in more traffic to I was all about doing it for them, I offered to do it for free! NO one ever took me up on it, but the idea of it was exciting to me! I loved the idea of helping them grow their followers, etc. I enjoy connecting with people on my own social media, especially twitter! It's my favorite! Also, because Emily was born premature and we were involved in the March of Dimes for years, "Walk America" & after that "March for Babies" charitable walks, I would use my own social media pages to try and get more donations for our March of Dime's family team's fundraising page! Over the years, we did a lot of fundraising for March of Dimes! We often would be in the TOP 5 Family teams for our county. That's where it started, where I realized I enjoyed doing things involved with social media. Anyway, I never really thought I'd find a job that would pay me, I assumed that one would have to have a degree in something like that to actually find a job. I knew I would really enjoy a job like that, though! I guess you could say it was my secret dream job. The thing is that I never even considered looking for something like that for a long time, even if I put aside my fear that I was un-hirable due to my lack of "traditional" education! I didn't drive and I always was kind of stuck working within walking distance of our home, because I didn't want to be a burden but now that Brian is working remote 100%, it has freed me up to think about other positions. In fact a job that has a set schedule is ideal, like 9 to 5 is better for us right now. Brian can lock out the times he has to take or pick me up. He encouraged me to look outside retail and do something I ABSOLUTELY wanted to do, and this opportunity came at the exact moment I was feeling ready to get back to work. I needed a break after doing something I was unhappy at for a long time, I needed to get my head on right, to take the mental & physical break I so needed. I was blessed to have a supportive husband & the chance to recovery from the exhaustion I have been feeling for some time over working without happiness for so long. Retail is a tough job, during Covid- it was made worse. I was very scared & nervous to put myself out there on a job I wasn't sure they would feel I was qualified for, BUT I DID IT! I decided to send them a resume, and a honest heartfelt cover letter about why I knew I could do the job, I explained that most of my career has been in retail, but I was so ready for a new challenge and how I knew the skills one gains from being a manager in retail, could be very helpful to them too and then I wrote about my personal experiences with social media, the fact I've had a blog for 16 years with more than 500 post & have tweeted over 18,000 tweets, amassing nearly 2800 followers on twitter alone, & my love for all things social media! They called me the next day! I was so excited but so so nervous. I'm not going to lie I doubted myself at times, I knew everything I said in my resume was the truth, and I knew if given the chance I could do the job, but I also was letting the fear win a bit, but... in the end it didn't win. I went, I did well... & I walked out thinking well... I tried, and I was proud of that. The decision was in their hands now, but I was proud of myself for putting myself out there, trying out for something that was completely new! Grateful they interviewed me, took a chance and worse thing that could come out of it, was gaining experience. Brian was a big help with that! He really encouraged me! Emily did too! She was being positive and telling me, "I could do it!" and "Good Luck!". I'm not the bravest person but in that moment I did the brave thing and put myself out there! It made me feel good to show my daughter that its important to go for something you really want, Emily has shown me that all her life and I'm glad for once I got to show her it too. I think of my brave freshman daughter who on her own decided to go out for the school musical.. or to live on her own at a college that is almost 2 hours away, as a person on the spectrum and an only child that isn't the easiest choice, and if she could do it, well... I could do this! I hope she is a bit proud of her mom, like I am of her all the time! Anyway, the next day, I got the call that I GOT THE JOB! I felt really happy and allowed myself a day of happy before the nerves kicked in again... could I really do it? They didn't stay too long... "just keep swimming, right?!" I've been there a month exactly TODAY, and every day I'm learning lots of new things. One of my greatest strengths is, wanting to do a good job! I think they see that in me. I AM SO HAPPY! Everyone is so nice, our office space is BIG & beautiful, the lobby area has a water fall & there is even a lake you can stroll around on your hour long lunch break. I even had off on PRESIDENT'S day, I joked that working retail, I've had to work Thanksgiving & Christmas before.... & I was paid to be off on President's day! WOW! That's huge! 😃😍 I haven't been even a minute late to work, I am enjoying it so much, I'm sure I probably ask too many questions... just eager to learn! They have said they love my positivity! It's easy to be positive when you honestly are enjoying the work you are doing! I am happy to go to work, & that's such a great feeling! I know I am blessed with a wonderful daughter, a great husband, a great new job where not only am I happy but I'm making a bit more money, believe me I'll try to help people a bit more too because of it. So while the world continues to make me sad at time, and especially with what is happening to the people of Ukraine and all the fears that brings to every one.... I will keep trying to focus on the positive & to do what I can to help this crazy world when & where I can. Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-74515568295840813372022-01-01T13:36:00.000-08:002022-01-01T13:36:29.193-08:00Happy New Year 2022<p> SO decided to write a post this being the first day of 2022. I woke up trying to be positive after a somewhat un-even New Year's Eve. I was devastated to hear of Betty White's passing, anyone who follows me on twitter can attest that it's pretty much all I have tweeted about since learning of it, which took place for me in the grocery store mid shopping. I was surprised by my reaction... I literally started to cry. My husband, in a very sweet response, told me to go to the car & he and Emily would finish the shopping. Bless him for putting up with my sensitive self! I had just posted earlier in the day about her 100th birthday via a retweet of hers from Dec 28th, about her People cover & her 100th birthday celebration. SO as strange as it sounds to be shocked by a 99 year old dying. I was. I think many of us were. I grew up in the 70's and 80's so Betty was a fixture on day time game shows. I remember watching Betty, along with her husband the HOST Allen, on Password with my Grandma & mom growing up. "The Password is... " (in Allen's whispered voice) It was always the best episodes when Betty White was on. I loved her! Of course she was famous for "The Golden Girls" and "Mary Tyler Moore show" & so many others as well. BUT, my favorite acting performance of hers was in the movie, "The Proposal" with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. She was so damn feisty and scene stealing it that. She has been in a way in my life, my entire life. I was sure she was going to make it to see her 100th birthday. Had she turned 100, I think it may not have affected me so much, but to lose her so suddenly without any known illness and after all the press about her 100th birthday, as foolish as it sounds I was shocked and so incredibly sad. I didn't really know her but I felt like I had. From the responses on twitter... it really seems like all the world did. She was really good at being a great human. RIP Betty White, and my sincere condolences to her family and her friends You accomplished the greatest feat in a life in my opinion... being well loved. Anyway... I just had to touch on that first, because well it did have a major impact on my NYE. I had a really hard time shaking the sadness BUT... I was determined to have a nice night with the family. It was just the 3 of us. It was as perfect as it could be. We ate crap and played old board games and just enjoyed each others company. It was so nice. Emily is home from college. Her winter break is over a month long, AND I've been enjoying every minute i have with her. She doesn't go back til mid January. I wish it was longer but have been told it is longer then some colleges give. She did SOOOOOO well at college this semester- I really need to stop worrying as much, she constantly proves me wrong! Her grades came in about a week ago. She got 3 A's, 1 A-, and a B+! To say we are proud is an understatement! I know there were a few hiccups for her, mostly being the fact she is an only child & never had to live with siblings or roommates, so it's been a big adjustment in that way. Some left items in the bathroom & the likes... living with a roommate & a bunch of suitemates is very new. She admitted that she got called out a few times for things like that, but she is learning. I think things were getting better in that regard by the end of the semester. 🤞 BUT as far as grades & getting around campus it certainly seems like she did AMAZING! She isn't much of a join-er (clubs and social events)and I'm hoping that aspect of college improves for her. But while she is a sophomore, last year was 100% remote, so this was her first time living in the dorms, and she amazed me with learning all she had to, and still doing so well academically. Like I said, I'm very proud of her and I know Brian is as well. It's been so long, since I have written on here. I have a lot to share. First off, I don't have a job currently. I've been at retail too long & am really looking for a different thing to do. It's been hard on me, and it's hard to admit but I'm a bit burnt out... especially during these Covid times. I know I'm good at it but I'm looking for something where I can use my skills, like customer service, etc but do something different. Confession... ever since the 6th grade, nearly 40 years ago I've wanted to work in a library, after a much successful library aid volunteer experience I had, not to brag, but I won "Best Library Aid 1983-84" & $10 award. It might sound quite silly but it's true I've always wanted to work at one. So maybe I can find a library job or at least work somewhere that respects me and I honestly enjoy doing. Working at the last two retail jobs has been a bit waring on my body & my mind. Busy, busy, busy and I just needed a physical and mental break. We've talked it over, and I plan on making it a job to look for a job after Emily goes back to college soon. Until then I am taking it a bit easy & getting a handle on some things at home that I've neglected from working and exhaustion. I'm feeling much better because of the break, and beyond blessed to have such a loving and supportive husband. Who basically said, "This isn't worth it" after a particularly rough night at work for me, and one massive panic attack, and encouraged me to give my notice. I wasn't quite sure I should but he assured me it was what was best. I love him for it, and so much more. Speaking of Brian, he got a new job at a start up. He LOVES it so much, it is challenging & exciting. I have never seen him happier! He puts a lot of time in, even for him, a self proclaimed "workaholic" but things are starting to slow down a bit, for a while he was working early in the morning til way late at night. I'm sure at times it will still be like that especially during times of releases. However it has been a very big blessing in our lives, and of course as I previous mentioned Brian loves it! I'm very proud of him. When I think of how difficult this year has been for so many, I know we have been incredibly blessed and this makes me grateful that we have been spared much of the hard aches so many are feeling. ie: Brian is 100% remote so the high gas prices haven't been as hard on our household. Please don't hate me for saying this, but I have no real complaints at the moment, (well aside of course from Covid. In that way we are all in the same boat) Knock on wood. Believe me, we've had enough years of hard times, and we were due. lol. It scares the crap out of me, since I'm always waiting for the next shoe to drop. So far so good. We have been blessed to be able to get some things done to the house. I've posted before about how much a weight it has been on my shoulders that we had just a long list of necessary repairs to get done on our older house. We continue to pay down some debts, and we got new gutters, & just two days ago got our heater (which had been barely hanging on... & completely died this year) replaced along with a new central air unit. We've been using window units for probably the last at least 10 years. We still have much to do, and while no-one's life is easy we know we are very blessed at the current moment. We are trying to stay positive and pay things forward in small ways as we can. There is a lot of ground to make up, but it's a start in the right directions. Now if the job Gods will be good to me and help me find something I actually will love doing that would be great (Oh & since I'm asking here... can you please let it be part time-lol). I honestly hope that you all have a very Happy New Year and I wish you much love and blessings in 2022. 💓</p>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-84644784784717613142021-04-15T11:08:00.003-07:002021-04-15T11:08:37.818-07:00She's going.... & she'll do great! <p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It's months away & yet here I am a ball of nerves & so damn *sappy (my definition.... sad yet happy) about Emily living on campus at FDU in the fall. I know she'll do great ....& that I AM just a natural born worrier, & even more than worrying about her. It's just that I'm going to miss her sooooooo damn much! I keep telling myself all the things I should... It's important, she needs it, she'll make friends, all the life lessons & education she'll get there. All the experiences she'll have & I know it's going to be great, but trying to tell that to my heart is another thing entirely. What helps the most is of course Emily, because she's so happy & pumped about moving on to campus! 💗💙🤞🥰 💗💙</span></p>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-28523019115421995452021-03-23T12:10:00.000-07:002021-03-23T12:10:10.120-07:00Wasn't quite brave enough to post to Facebook... <p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">My mantra ... "Just keep swimming" Many things make me incredibly sad. It's hard being so sensitive & feeling so much. That's just me. though. I can't help it. SO... I remind myself all the time, to "just keep swimming" & trying. SO if you don't like seeing all my political post, or my very opinionated ones, I don't know what to tell you...that's why I tell people to unfriend me. It's why I've had to unfriend some, I don't want to see a post from you that makes me feel so angry, or sad, or some negative feeling. I get enough of that already. Sometimes I post things to counter the sadness I feel over all the sadness I see. </span></p>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-34846799766118223642020-10-02T18:05:00.003-07:002020-10-19T13:33:22.369-07:002020 What a shit show. <p> SO this year, it's been such a difficult year, that I haven't had much of a desire to "re-live" it by writing about it. BUT..it hasn't all been bad. I'll start with the good things.... 1st) Emily is doing quite well with her college courses. She isn't on campus this semester & quite honestly it's been nice, she hasn't had to navigate campus living, and all that entails ALONG with the added stress of Covid-19. She's been able to concentrate on just her classes. She has yet to get her mid term grades back BUT...all evidence supports that she's doing well. The professors have until the 13th to actually put the grades up. I'm sure she's doing good. She's been getting up on time, on her own. Seems to be completing all her assignments, etc. She absolutely loves all her professors & is trying to get to know her fellow college-mates. That's the hard part, but some of the professors let the kids go into 3 or 4 student break out sessions, it's during those they have a bit of a chance to get to know one another. At least that is what I've been able to get out of Emily... lol. We've been trying to give her as much independence w/ college as we can since that's how it would be on campus. SO aside from the occasional trying to get info from her, we are pretty much leaving her alone about it. 2nd) We have enjoyed having Brian at home more. He's been working remotely. In many ways, it's made life easier. His work is a long commute & he used to not get home until quite late, & then dinner was late. Not to mention the financial strain the long commute caused, it's one side effect from this covid crap, that hasn't been completely bad. I never have to worry about not having a ride to work either. 3) We actually had a nice little weekend vacation to Lake George NY the end of August. It was part for my birthday, part for Brian's passion for hiking. It's always been a hobby of his, but over the last few years it's become an even bigger passion. He really LOVES it, not to mention it's been a safe activity to do during the shutdowns & virus! It's hard, because in NJ there's only so many places he can hike that he's actually interested in hiking. Brian likes cool views, with higher elevations, & just experiencing new hikes. SO that often requires a bit of traveling to new places. Over the last couple years he's been having to branch out to further destinations. Anyway. It was fun. We went on a dinner cruise. We felt pretty safe. They had pretty good safety precautions, not to mention it was a bit of a rainy day, so the area around the pier and on the boat wasn't busy at all. We wore our mask & social distanced. The best part of the dinner cruise for me, was that they had these performers. Just a man & a woman singing like classics. They sang songs like, "Don't Stop believin'" , "You're so Vain" etc. Emily was quite the ham & we were on the 2nd deck & you could actually see the performers who were on the bottom deck. Emily had the best time singing along!! I enjoyed witnessing her happiness, it made me happy to see! Most people assumed she was just lip-synching because she was so good. BUT.. no she was singing & quite entertaining at that. At one point the song, "My heart will go on" was sung & I got a cute video of the contrast of Brian & Emily's reactions to the song. Emily was joyfully singing it & Brian who's not happy & pretending to blow his brains out, cause he hates that song. I just questioned the person's logic of playing that song during a cruise. LOL! It was fun, dinner was pretty yummy and all you can eat so while it was a bit expensive it ended up being worth it, not to mention, since we were pretty much in lockdown from the virus or months & we haven't done much or been out really, it was quite a wonderful escape from reality. One must have a bit of fun! BUT...I did feel like we appreciated it more because of not doing much of anything the rest of the summer, aside from one trip to the shore, we stayed home to be safe. 4) One of the other good things that's happened this year is that Brian continues his weight loss journey. It's been over a year now & he's managed to not only lose well over 100 pounds but to keep if off!!! The weight came off so fast I was a bit worried about him maintaining, BUT because nearly every day he does 2 a day workouts. It's allowed him to maintain. I'm very proud of him! I wish I could say it's rubbed off. It hasn't. While it might not be fair, & I'm completely & honestly proud of him, it hasn't done much for my own self esteem. Being I feel like a fatty. BUT... whatever. One day. Hopefully I too can be ready to improve my self. 2020 has been a difficult year & I'm a stress eater. SO this perhaps isn't the time for me to improve that part of myself. Not that I need to tell anyone about how this year has gone. Anyone living it knows it's been a real shitty time. In March when every thing started going to shit in a handbag because of Covid 19, our state along w/ NY were I believe #1 & #2 in cases & we took that serious in our house. For the most part, we still are. BUT... maybe we've in ways have become lax... we are still doing the social distancing & mask thing, but aren't as worried about cleaning everything a million times a day like in the beginning. It feels lately as well, our family along w/ others I see are just exhausted more now then before. I don't know if it's the long hours sometimes in mask or more likely just tired from stress over it going on7 months & counting. As of today, there have been over 205,000 death, & well over 7 million cases just in the USA, as of this morning,🍄rump & the first lady are part of that statistic. YUP... 🍄RUMP has COVID19! After all his boo-hooing wearing masks & social distancing & his stupidity over this all being blown out of portion, despite all the evidence of otherwise... This morning, he himself the Grinch... he himself has gotten it. Karma. I don't mean to sound un-sympathetic but it's hard to be sympathetic to someone who has been such the opposite to the masses of people who have died from this horrible virus, & to so many other people during his presidency and quite honestly his lifetime. Even at one point saying, "It is what it is" regarding them. So... I'm not going to be up at night worrying about him. To say I'm not a fan of this administration is the understatement of the year. I can't wait til Joe Biden wins & if need be has the 🍄rump's forcefully removed from the White House, I'm feeling a bit more hopeful of that happening & that scares the shit out of me. I was so hurt when Hillary lost in 2016 & it's hard for me to be hopeful, but it's what I'm feeling. 🙏 Praying hard that Joe Biden/Kamala Harris win this November our nation needs it, I need it! I think even people who don't realize it yet.. .need it! Our nation can not keep going the way it is. There's so much more I could talk about... the embarrassing 1st presidential debate, Trump showed himself to be on his worst behavior EVER. Ruth Bader Ginsberg passing away, she'd been sick and as sad as it was, it wasn't entirely shocking, still completely devastating & the timing couldn't have been worst. This leaves open the opportunity for 🍄rump to get another conservative judge on the Supreme Court. UGH! I'll leave it here, I'm getting too sad to continue. Much love every one! Let's all try to keep our heads up & fight for a better tomorrow in what ever ways we can. 💓</p>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-37734375556454298592020-08-27T16:48:00.002-07:002020-08-27T16:48:30.499-07:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4On__TWuXkpULYPSIcm8vh2V4KBJK81ARO_262UK2pKLn_ze-IH0XxWrl8pDAx8skPDm-3_3JeOqr_QfZ8034aJAGGikNigaQE05v2WguDhWiTJ1ym7CGZsDdYk4x1dzbqox4CkhrQwc/s1242/EfKpEHIXsAgfyJj.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1234" data-original-width="1242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4On__TWuXkpULYPSIcm8vh2V4KBJK81ARO_262UK2pKLn_ze-IH0XxWrl8pDAx8skPDm-3_3JeOqr_QfZ8034aJAGGikNigaQE05v2WguDhWiTJ1ym7CGZsDdYk4x1dzbqox4CkhrQwc/s640/EfKpEHIXsAgfyJj.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-5386851364517983012020-08-27T14:28:00.002-07:002020-08-27T14:28:46.555-07:00My blood boiling anger post from FACEBOOK <p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">This POS Kyle Rittenhouse.... took his killing machine & killed 2 people & injured a 3rd... & wow... amazing as it was, he wasn't killed by police!!!!!! If you can't see the craziness in this, UNFRIEND ME IMMEDIATELY! If he was black & had a bag of skittles, he would have been shot! If he was black & had a fake $20 he would have been shot, if he was black & playing a video game in his own house he would have been shot! If he was black & on the ground, surrounded by 4 ot</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">her cops, begging for his momma... he would have been killed! I'm so sick of people pretending they don't see what the actual problem is!!!!!! You know it, deep down, you know it, we all know it! <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"type":104,"tn":"*N"}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/systemicracism?source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG" style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #365899; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">SystemicRacism</span></span></a> is REAL!! STFU with anything else! We need to change the way law enforcement is done in this country, like doctors oaths.... first do no harm. If you can't handle the situations police can find themselves in, perhaps you are NOT QUALIFIED to be a police officer. I know there are amazing police officers in this country, hardworking, loyal, amazing men & women BUT they are NOT ALL GOOD! Every organizations, has bad seeds in them... we must weed out the bad better! One & done... one incident in a police officers background or work history that leads someone to even question whether he is fit to be an officer. ie: prejudice, comments, social media post, extreme anger, extreme punishment, anything.. they are done! This "brotherhood" of police, needs to end. If you see something say something... if you don't & it's proved you knew, you get fired too. The job is toooo important. Pay police officers better, because they have a difficult job & are put in harms way, & get better people... people who were meant to be police officers & people who love their job & do it for the right reasons, & ARE DECENT human beings.... We have got to do better! Maybe instead of police academies, have police universities & it takes 4 years & they are drilled & trained & educated in different ways... & look for even the slightest sign, then before they are, on the streets... IDK I don't have the answers but I know it needs to be different, & better! I know one thing... under TRUMP it's going to stay the exact same way it is, & we can't keep doing it like this! VOTE!</span></p><div class="_3x-2" data-ft="{"tn":"H"}" style="font-family: inherit;"><div data-ft="{"tn":"H"}" style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="mtm" style="font-family: inherit; margin-top: 10px;"><div class="_6m2 _1zpr clearfix _dcs _4_w4 _41u- _59ap _2bf7 _64lx _3eqz _20pq _3eqw _2rk1 _359m _3n1j _5qqr" data-ft="{"tn":"H"}" id="u_1r_2" style="background-color: #f2f3f5; border-radius: 0px; border: none; box-shadow: none; font-family: inherit; margin-left: -12px; margin-right: -12px; max-width: none; overflow: hidden; position: relative; z-index: 0; zoom: 1;"><div class="clearfix _2r3x" style="font-family: inherit; zoom: 1;"><div class="lfloat _ohe" style="float: left; font-family: inherit; width: 514px;"><span class="_3m6-" style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="_63yw" style="font-family: inherit; position: relative;"><div class="_6ks" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 0; position: relative; z-index: 1;"><div class="accessible_elem inlineBlock" id="u_1r_6" style="clip: rect(1px, 1px, 1px, 1px); color: #385898; cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; text-decoration-line: none; white-space: nowrap; width: 1px; zoom: 1;"><a aria-describedby="u_1r_6" aria-label="Who is Kyle Rittenhouse? What We Know About the 17-Year-Old Arrested in Kenosha Shooting" data-lynx-mode="asynclazy" data-lynx-uri="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nbcchicago.com%2Fnews%2Flocal%2Fwho-is-kyle-rittenhouse-what-we-know-about-the-17-year-old-arrested-in-kenosha-shooting%2F2329610%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR0Q6x0d1O4fOikq71Rmlf3trFafR8ZKmBewGeOp2EDbaZ9g6pjqdnDgSI8&h=AT2KP6sryAYQAGS6eP71g_xi7yF8w2WZUVt4CXitgHfb_kstcHTLCQwjEdYnW6f3LCs6RyP8Qoh7uKNBPdBRrZBDywwyBpp7sGvi6SwOrI5J8HmsPwlHVgA-3JR7DTeht8mQvnkRCnWT1nLeP0wQfcSPHtt81-mI9uTE9vlH" href="https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/who-is-kyle-rittenhouse-what-we-know-about-the-17-year-old-arrested-in-kenosha-shooting/2329610/?fbclid=IwAR0Q6x0d1O4fOikq71Rmlf3trFafR8ZKmBewGeOp2EDbaZ9g6pjqdnDgSI8" rel="noopener nofollow" style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">Kyle Rittenhouse, a white 17-year-old from Illinois who apparently is obsessed with law enforcement, was captured on video seconds after the first of two fatal shootings Tuesday during the third straight night of unrest in Kenosha over the police shooting of a Black man, Jacob Blake.</a></div><div><br /></div><a aria-describedby="u_1r_6" aria-label="Who is Kyle Rittenhouse? What We Know About the 17-Year-Old Arrested in Kenosha Shooting" data-lynx-mode="asynclazy" data-lynx-uri="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nbcchicago.com%2Fnews%2Flocal%2Fwho-is-kyle-rittenhouse-what-we-know-about-the-17-year-old-arrested-in-kenosha-shooting%2F2329610%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR0Q6x0d1O4fOikq71Rmlf3trFafR8ZKmBewGeOp2EDbaZ9g6pjqdnDgSI8&h=AT2KP6sryAYQAGS6eP71g_xi7yF8w2WZUVt4CXitgHfb_kstcHTLCQwjEdYnW6f3LCs6RyP8Qoh7uKNBPdBRrZBDywwyBpp7sGvi6SwOrI5J8HmsPwlHVgA-3JR7DTeht8mQvnkRCnWT1nLeP0wQfcSPHtt81-mI9uTE9vlH" href="https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/who-is-kyle-rittenhouse-what-we-know-about-the-17-year-old-arrested-in-kenosha-shooting/2329610/?fbclid=IwAR0Q6x0d1O4fOikq71Rmlf3trFafR8ZKmBewGeOp2EDbaZ9g6pjqdnDgSI8" rel="noopener nofollow" tabindex="-1" target="_blank"><div class="_6l- __c_" style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; position: relative; text-decoration-line: none;"></div></a></div></div></span></div></div></div></div></div></div>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-48882324189932873702020-07-16T12:18:00.004-07:002020-08-05T15:21:27.373-07:00She must be one of the Wonders... <span style="color: #14171a;"><span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Feeling very emotional today. I'm sure it has a lot to do with Emily's upcoming college move in date fast approaching. I'm full of mixed emotions, not just because it would be a big deal no matter what, but because it's happening during a pandemic & all the other worries as well. Just of how fast the time has gone too. Emily's childhood is over & she's entering another chapter of her life, it's making me think of it all. How it started always comes to mind, how couldn't it? It was such a dramatic time in all of our lives. It got me thinking about the song "Wonder" by Natalie Merchant. This song means so much to our little family of 3. It's very special to us. When Emily was born so tiny & frail & all during the six months that followed afterward at Children's Hospital. The song just gave us hope for Emily. We thought my God, she's a wonder, she's our wonder. Emily was a micro preemie weighing only 14 ounces. Right after she was born she actually lost a little weight & got down to like 13 ounces. She had so many ups & downs in the hospital, but today for some reason or another I'm thinking about one time in particular when she got a really bad infection, so bad that these doctors from the CDC had to come to the hospital to see Emily & give I guess their opinions on what should be done for her to fight the infection. She was so tiny, her immune system didn't work very well and even as careful as we all tried to be, it was impossible to keep all the germs away in a hospital so she developed a really bad infection. It was the scariest time of all the scary times. But we felt some comfort knowing these CDC doctors were there to try & help. We referred to them back then as the, "Men in Black" because they didn't look like doctors, they almost looked like the characters from the Men in Black movie. All in suits. Anyway the first line of Natalie Merchant's song Wonder is, "Doctors have come from distant cities just to see me..." ... ever since then when ever I hear that song, it makes me immediately tear up & think of that time so long ago. I watch a lot of news as well & if you follow me on any social media, you know I'm not a fan of Trump. There's been a lot of news about Trump not accepting the CDC's recommendations & now apparently he wants the Covid19 data coming to the White House instead of going through the CDC so that might be another reason to be thinking too much of that time long ago. It makes me wonder if some parents (Trump supporters) today, would feel the same comfort in the CDC being there as we did back then. We thought well the experts are here, if someone is going to help her, it'll be them... but Trump is treating them like the enemies instead of the "experts". Which is just really sad & scary. But... anyway... when I step back & think about further down the line of Emily's childhood, I mostly think of all the happy moments, proud moments... once she left the hospital she never went back. Sure she had her fair of childhood colds & such but she handled all of them well. More importantly she is a bright & happy person. She makes me incredibly proud. She's still tiny though, at 19 she is only 4' 8" & I can't help and still worry about her, especially when I'm trying hard to let her go & to spread her wings at college. Like she's always dreamed of doing. BUT... I'm a mom... & the worrying doesn't end. </span></span><br />
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Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-4246772769430316892020-06-23T18:08:00.000-07:002020-07-12T17:16:26.222-07:00White Silence by Melissa Williams 6/23/2020<br />
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For too long now... </div>
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Black injustice, with violence & protest </div>
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filling their lives with stresses</div>
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Yet not a word.... white silence. </div>
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For too long now. </div>
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Saw the headlines, turned a blindeye </div>
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Didn't affect I, so gave a quiet sigh. </div>
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Stood still in my own white silence </div>
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For too long now</div>
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Didn't understand the outrage </div>
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seen thru my white privilege gauge </div>
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Always the problem white silence</div>
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For too long now </div>
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Anger should have been mine as well </div>
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Long past my time to empathize & yell </div>
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Fight through my own white silence </div>
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For too long now...</div>
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Trying not to engage, stirring the pot </div>
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While innocent people of color got shot</div>
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Enough of my white silence. </div>
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Enough. </div>
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#BlackLivesMatter </div>
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Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-29983728995002415982020-06-17T14:10:00.001-07:002020-06-17T14:10:26.471-07:00UGH! <span data-offset-key="eskdr-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span data-text="true" style="font-family: inherit;">So yesterday I was reading an article where a healthcare worker who had been doing everything right, Social distancing & wearing a mask...& hadn't gotten Covid 19... decided to go out w/ a group of like 20 friends to have a good time at a re-opened bar in Florida... & didn't wear a mask or social distance... now her & like 16 of her friends & 7 of the bar employees have tested positive. Which has me thinking... I'd hate to be living in Tulsa after Trump is set to have an INSIDE rally WITHOUT requiring mask & with 20,000 of his supporters. I mean that's just fucking CRAZY! I mean I won't feel bad for the bat shit crazies who attend the rally & then get sick, but imagine how many of those attending might then infect w/ the virus. INNOCENT people who didn't make the decision to go... This is our president's decision! This is his thought process. This is his choice, & it's not a safe one, a good one, a fair one & compassionate one. It's another poor choice. How many lies, wrong decisions, how many ignorant comments, racist comments, does the American voters need to see from tRump, before they say enough! I mean for me it was before he was elected. BUT... if you didn't see it then, please tell me you have seen it now. BTW... Tulsa has actually had a decrease in testing & still the last few days of surging of positive cases. </span></span><span blockkey="eskdr" class="_5zk7" contentstate="c { "entityMap": [object Object], "blockMap": OrderedMap { "eskdr": c { "key": "eskdr", "type": "unstyled", "text": "So yesterday I was reading an article where a healthcare worker who had been doing everything right, Social distancing & wearing a mask...& hadn't been sick.... decided to go out w/ a group of like 20 friends to celebrate at a re-opened bar in Florida... & didn't wear a mask or social distance... now her & like 16 of her friends & 7 of the bar employees have tested positive. as well... I'd hate to be living in Tulsa after Trump is set to have an INSIDE rally WITHOUT requiring mask & with 20,000 people... & I mean I won't feel bad for the bat shit crazies who attend the rally & then get sick, but imagine how many of those attending can infect w/ the virus. INNOCENT people who didn't make the decision to go... This is our president's decision! This is his thought process. This is his choice, & it's not a safe one, a good one, a fair one & compassionate one. It's another poor choice. Tulsa has actually had a decrease in testing & still the last few days of surging of positive cases. #voteBLUE i beg you! You can vote red the rest of your days... but we have to remove this man from office. 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font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span data-text="true" style="font-family: inherit;"> i beg you! You can vote red the rest of your days... but we have to remove this man from office this time!! </span></span>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-741870362232981352020-06-08T12:47:00.002-07:002020-06-08T12:47:51.286-07:00One "proud" mama. My 19 year old daughter Emily will start college in the fall. SOOOOO PROUD of her!!! She's going to a private university in NJ. This year was her gap year, & while we hoped she'd gain some experiences this year. Due to Covid, it's not happened. Because of Emily's premature birth & effects of it, she is a bit more immune compromised than the average kid SO she's been stuck in the house for the most part. SO that's been a bummer. We'd feel a lot more comfortable if she had some more experiences before college. But it is what it is. It's only been about a week that we've really known for sure that she'd be attending, she got accepted a while ago, but you see, it's an expensive school and even though we felt like it was the "right" school for Emily, we weren't sure we could swing it. Thankfully she did awesome in high school academically, & thankfully between her SAT score & GPA she did secure a good partial merit scholarship... but it's still a long way from paid. Brian nor I have the greatest credit scores & since Emily hasn't worked yet (she's only done some intermittent volunteering work) she would not be able to secure a loan herself, we were a little scared we would not be approved for the necessary loan BUT we have been! It's only for the first year, but still... it does relieve that stress. At least until we have to pay it back, but we are trying hard to get our finances in better shape & have been for nearly 2 decades. Many things happened beyond our controls back in the late 90's-early 2000's & again a few years ago, which added to our debt & some mistakes on our end as well. We are trying hard to make things better. BUT we have been trying our hardest to figure out a way to pay for it, one way or another, so that part was a big relieve because we were trying everything in our power to give our daughter this opportunity. We just hope we've done everything in our power to prepare her, she's wanted to be a writer, her whole life.... in fact, I want to share something with all of you...<br />
<br />
(I'll insert pic soon-it's on my phone & I don't have the right cord)<br />
<br />
That was a report card from when Emily was 7. She has had a talent for writing since she was very young & I've never known Emily to want to really do anything else in her life. That is why she choose the university she did. It has the #1 creative writing program in our state. It's also small, & offers programs for students with a variety of disabilities. It was all those things & more that lead us to think this school was the best option for Emily. Of course I still have a ton of concerns about her going. Some are obvious but some are just me, & my general worrying ways. Emily is very much excited to go! That really goes a long way to make me feel more comfortable about this choice. She & my husband/I have had a ton of discussions about what college will be like, & self care & the like. We've tried & are still teaching her things we feel like she'll need to do/know before entering college but it's getting sooooo real & it's getting so close, & that makes me hope we gave her all the necessary skills needed to live on her own. She's our only child so she's not used to the idea of sharing a room or anything like that. Or being around that many people in general. She struggles making friend's with people her own age. However over the last year & 1/2 has even made great strides with that. Developing a friendship with someone all on her own.... this might not seem like a great accomplishment for other teenagers but when as a parent you've done most of the driving of any kind of friendships between your child & others & still they are mostly superficial & not real deep friendships, it's been a real break through and I"m almost as proud of that as anything else she's accomplished in her life. Another concern to us is that like I mentioned already, we thought that taking the gap year would provide her with a bunch of experiences...thanks to Covid-19 not so much but hopefully with the summer months ahead, she can perhaps start doing more. Most things have been closed so with the possible re-opening up of places, maybe a bit more opportunities will present themselves for her. As long as it's safe of course. Overall, I'm extremely proud & excited for Emily to enter this next chapter of her life. Soon.. I get to proudly share that my kid is in college! WOW... what an accomplishment for our lil' former miracle micro-preemie. 💓<br />
<br />
The world continues to provide it's own trauma, aside from Covid... About 2 weeks ago, a black man name George Floyd was CLEARLY murdered by a police officer & 3 other officers allowed & participated in their own right while witnesses pleaded for them to stop,it was all caught on camera...again. Thank goodness for the camera. It was beyond awful to watch that video, but because of it, so much has happened & it has awakened people of all nationalities to stand up for him/& other people of color & fight racist police brutality and get behind the #BlackLiveMatters movement. We've had about 2 weeks of non-stop protesting in major cities & small alike all across our country & while it should not have taken another black man's murder to awaken this, it is in many ways a beautiful thing to witness & be a part of. While I've always felt lucky to have grown up in the family I did & been blessed to be surrounded by a family which is diverse & loving, I feel I still have a lot of learning to do myself. We need to all be more aware & take actions to become "Anti-racist" as opposed to just not racist. Our family as a start, have listened, read articles, ordered books about being Anti-racist, supported black owned businesses, causes, among other things. While we've wanted to be involved in one of the many protest, we have not had the chance yet. I'm still working & Brian too & with Covid 19 it still feels a bit unsafe. I'm very proud of my fellow humans for doing what they are though & trust me when I say we're there with them all in spirit. We have to change the world for the better, we have to love one another & just fight injustices when we see them. We all have to try in what ever ways we can to be better. I'm starting with me & my family. I hope you are also. Voting for people who will support the right legislating is a crucial start. If you are reading this... God bless you & your family at this most critical of times. As a nation, we have to believe ... We Got This!Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-44849127444624446912020-05-24T13:09:00.002-07:002020-05-24T13:10:05.711-07:00FoxBook I mean Facebook <span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I'm kinda sick of Facebook. I made a promise to myself that no matter what someone posted on THEIR own page, I would not argue with them on it. It's soooo hard. There are so many people who have gone absolutely bonkers & have lost their damn minds if they think for a second Trump is doing a good job. I fight the urge to discuss anything with them, because it ends up just frustrating me so much. If you can't see the moron in chief for what he is, I can't, I just can't. He is a mean bully & that is not the president I want. He NEVER apologizes. Joe Biden is NOT perfect but when he makes a mistake, he owns it & apologizes & I think his heart is good. I can't say the same for Trump. I said it day one... I have thought it every day since. Trump is just not a good man. </span>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-23555138278274409582020-05-17T17:17:00.001-07:002020-05-17T17:17:11.142-07:00<span style="background-color: white; color: #007d91; font-family: "Open Sans", apple-system, blinkmacsystemfont, "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", arial, sans-serif; font-size: 37.57px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase;">1,467,065 cases of COvid 19 in the United States! 89,000 deaths. WOW </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #007d91; font-family: "Open Sans", apple-system, blinkmacsystemfont, "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", arial, sans-serif; font-size: 37.57px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #007d91; font-family: "Open Sans", apple-system, blinkmacsystemfont, "Segoe UI", "Helvetica Neue", arial, sans-serif; font-size: 37.57px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase;"><br /></span>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-64402808366618613912020-04-09T11:57:00.001-07:002020-04-12T09:32:43.959-07:00Scary times... 2020Hi, Well... it's been so long since I actually have sat down to write on this blog, but something inside has been bugging me to do it today, so here goes. We are all under LOCK DOWN due to the Covid 19 virus, or the corona virus. It's crazy this thing. We have a state wide curfew of 8 pm. WE are only allowed to go out for essential items. Unfortunately & fortunately I work at an essential business so I am still working. Most of the time, I wish I wasn't, I worry I will bring it home to my family, especially I worry about bringing it home to Emily, who since she was born so premature & was on a ventilator for so long has Chronic Lung disease already. I'm taking this very serious & even when those rare moments come into my thoughts like are we OVER reacting they quickly leave. NJ is the state with the 2ND highest # of cases of Covid 19 & that's REAL. New York has the highest # of cases in our country & I think at this point in it, we have over 415,000 cases in our country alone. I haven't really watched the news today. It's incredibly depressing to do so. I watch tooooo much news but it's been really making me quite depressed so I've been trying to watch a little less. We are also doing this thing called "social distancing" which means standing at least 6 feet away from one another. Since the 3rd week in March, we have pretty much remained in our homes with the exception of work (for me) & the grocery store & walks/runs (for Brian). Brian's been lucky that he is still working too, he is just working from home. Brian's work is actually in Bergen County which is the HARDEST hit & highest total cases in our state. Very scary. We are lucky he is working from home & his company is still doing ok. Thank God. Many people are out of work & there have been record high #'s of people who have filed for UN-EMPLOYMENT benefits. It's INSANE! I rarely talk about our current president. He makes my blood boil, he is so completely incompetent & just a despicable person in general. I don't utter his name. Ofcourse he blames everyone else for his failures but himself, there is NO BUCK STOPS HERE in his thoughts. It's everyone else's fault but his, the only problem with that, it is HE who actually has been in the office for 3 1/2 years & HE who cut the Pandemic response team during his watch. He wasn't on top of it in the beginning & refuses to admit he did anything wrong. When in reality he did many things wrong. I just pray to god that he is voted out of office in November. it's such a scary time. I requested to my boss that she cut down my days. Which she has to 3 instead of 4. I've been off the last 4 days but return to work tomorrow on Friday & Saturday. Every day I'm at work, every moment it's high stress. It's overwhelming & I worry about bringing it home. I'm doing every thing in my power to lessen the chance. Using gloves, using a face mask *just started & washing my hands as best I can through out my shift BUT I'm still scared, We seem to be starting to slow down but without an actual vaccine to fight it, we will most surely have a 2nd wave at some point. I feel very sorry to all the kids who are graduating this year. They are missing out on a lot of "final" things in HS and even college. Most have already missed their senior trips, many missed their proms & some have even canceled graduation. All students are being home schooled. I'm in many ways grateful Emily graduated last year, although she has even missed things as well. Like "Admitted" students day, and the like at FDU. She is in the middle of her gap year & it's not been going as planned for sure, this Covid 19 has thrown a wrench in many peoples lives & plans. BUT..... we are all doing these things to lesson this from getting even more dangerous & deadly. It is showing signs of working so that's something. I wonder & worry about whether we, all will be able to get back to normal. I pray we can. My hope is that we all have learned things, learned what is most important in life. Perhaps we can come out of this closer & more caring & maybe even more fiscally responsible than we were before. Maybe a lot of good will come of it. For sure, a lot of bad has. CNN has tried to put faces behind the #'s. They are telling us about the people who have lost their lives to this virus. That's the part of the the news, that gets me the most. #'s are just #'s but knowing & seeing the people who have lost their lives to this, is so incredibly sad. Those people had family's who loved them. Had people who relied on them. For those people it's not just #'s. It's "Pop PoP" or "Nana" or a favorite uncle or aunt or the best cousin on earth. I pray for the health of my own family but for the grace of god, we could all be one of those people who have lost their lives. I hope too, that after this is all done... people will realize what a true leader should look like & that it is far from our current leader and come together to vote him out! But at this moment... I just want this to slow down & then STOP. I wanna stop hearing about Corona this.. and Corona that... death, desperation, sickness, victims & just hear about normal news, & I pray to god that my family is spared & we all can come out of it somehow for the better.Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-55730619821834223772020-02-05T11:41:00.001-08:002020-02-05T11:43:05.334-08:00Wrote in 2018- Sharing again today w/ an edit of line 2 "To Bush, Romney & McCain" After Romney's speech & vote today. Thank you, sir! <span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Feel like I owe apologies</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">To Bush and McCain </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Didn't agree with their policies</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">But didn't feel this pain</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, "Palatino Linotype", Palatino, serif; font-size: 15.4px;" />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">This current one is unbearable</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Can barely say his name</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Takes accountability for nothing</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">His skills, to lie and blame</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, "Palatino Linotype", Palatino, serif; font-size: 15.4px;" />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Voters heads in the sand</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Ignoring all that was known</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Shocking election day results</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Even after the ugly he'd shown</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, "Palatino Linotype", Palatino, serif; font-size: 15.4px;" />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Disappointed with fellow citizens</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Speechless and emotionally defeating</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">He came like a wrecking ball</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Hurting many, after cheating</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, "Palatino Linotype", Palatino, serif; font-size: 15.4px;" />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Was lost for a while</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Hiding out in a personal cave</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">Finally feeling empowered</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">By a democratic Blue Wave</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, "Palatino Linotype", Palatino, serif; font-size: 15.4px;" />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">By Melissa Williams</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eefff0; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">8/4/2018</span>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-19277867104284321142020-01-31T12:15:00.000-08:002020-01-31T13:12:54.717-08:00The working girl blues... (no not that kind of working girl, get your head out the gutter...lol ) I wanted to come on here and share a bit about me. Something that for having a blog, I don't do an awful lot of, which just means most of the time I talk about my daughter Emily, or just being a mom. or just things. But not me. just me. Things that I do, or did. Not too often anyway. But in November I quit my job. It wasn't so much a decision to quit my job. It was a necessity that I stop working where I was, I quite frankly felt pushed out. For my own mental health it was important that I leave. I was belittled, embarrassed, dismissed, disrespected & overlooked. I felt taken advantage of, not listened to, or more accurately, unheard. I had given 5 years. Most my life I have worked retail & I won't list where I was working at, but it was retail. I worked hard, in 5 years I think I may have called out, once or twice & always found coverage. Aside from perhaps one time when I was so sick I was both on the toilet w/ let's just say active gastro issues & simultaneously throwing up in the trash can, & gave as long as a notice as I could that I would not be in . I've always been a person who feels guilty about calling out, even when I'm sick as a dog, I try to muster through, I don't like disappointing people or not doing my best. so I was in many ways an ideal employee. for years. I didn't complain too much, worked hard, to the point of stressing over my job long after leaving work, and.... So about 6 months before my final shift, after much discussions with my husband, I decided to approach the district manager about moving up. A bit of a back story is that this particular store had a least 8 store managers in the (at that time) 4 1/2 years, that I had been there. They could not retain store managers. In fact at the time I left, myself and another person (who worked only 1 day) were the last people standing since I first started there. But back to the time... 6 months earlier and me approaching my DM. We were without a manager at the time, and had a floater assistant manager who was working only days, which meant that the AM, me & 3 other shift supervisors were running every aspect of the store. The floater Assistant manager worked only M-F day time. This is retail... retail, where it is necessary that one works nights, & weekends. One shift also worked only days (although she stepped up by coming in on many Sundays to do the weekly schedule. & the 3 other shifts (myself & 2 other) worked the remaining nights & weekends. 3 of the 4 shift supervisors stepped up because of the situation of no manager...We had to do things, that were not generally things we were responsible for, like payroll, scheduling, etc. All for the measly money that shifts were paid. Which essential was a tad more than regular associates. I mean a tad more. It was exhausting. For someone like me, especially, who can't leave work at work, it was even more so. I came home and just vented & vented to my husband. I often thought "I could do this job better than most of the other managers had", most. I honestly think at least 2 were very good managers. In all fairness... those 2 are still with the company, only at different stores. Our store had kind of a reputation of being one that few people wanted to work. It was because of the stress of my current position (for little pay) & my years and years of experience (I had been a retail manager when I was in my 20's), & it being the right time in my life, ie: Emily being almost done school, and I needing to earn more money for her college and paying off debt, that I decided to approach the DM to share my desire to move up in the company. Either as an asst manager or a Store manager. I had started by telling him my work experience. (he was relatively new to our district & didn't really know me), and that quite frankly how hard it was on everyone who worked there to have this "merry go round" of managers at this store. We would just get used to the way one ran the store & we'd get a new one. We'd get used to one's personality & have to get used to another. It was difficult. It was made more so..... by the experience of the last months, with no manager & not being recognized by corporate for all that the shifts especially had done to help run the store in the time without a manager. We, I think I can speak for everyone of the shifts felt un-appreciated for all we were doing. I knew I could run the store if given a chance. I had after all... experience, & more experience & above all an excellent work ethic. Which was lacking in many of their previous hired managers. (I didn't exactly present it like that, but that was the gist) I explained that because we were a one car family I needed to stay at this location because it was within walking distance to my home. The truth is we were a one car family at the time, and another truth is I DO have a driver's license, but I don't really like to drive & don't really mind not having two cars. So it was kind of a big deal that I stay at this location. The DM basically made me feel like all the things I told him, about how much I care & how hard I work didn't matter that because I didn't DRIVE I could not move up. In fact, he called it a "Deal Breaker". As you can imagine this made me none-to pleased, So I took a deep breathe and tried to understand what exactly i just heard, by saying, "So you'd be willing to lose a hard working, responsible, qualified person for a management position simply because they don't drive?, and how quite frankly, with all due respect, that was in my opinion... unwise. The 6 managers that had been fired or quit all could drive, did that make them any better managers? clearly not. I think by this point I had mentioned I had "anxiety" about driving (TRUE, just think about the title of my blog) if "Anxiety Missy" had a better ring to it, it could have been named that... but that's a tale for another day..lol , & that the whole "deal breaker" for being a manager, didn't seem fair. Since I always had gotten myself to work & any other work related event I had needed to attend my WHOLE work life. after expressing my hard to hide shock, & disappointment in what he had just said, he tried to back slide just a little with..... well let's just see, try & learn everything you can from the new manager, and we'll see. So apparently they had a manager in mind, already. then the DM went on to sing the praises of that new guy.... how wonderful he was going to be, how he was going to change the store around, and what high hopes he had of him. Basically that this guy was the 2nd coming of Retail Christ. Don't you know, he lasted less than 4 months!!! But the fact that I had to walk to work JUST 2 days out of the five I worked was a "deal breaker" seemed even more moronic to me after the newest to put it nicely.. "couldn't cut it" manager's departure . I have to admit the tad devious side of me, was quite pleased that Mr. DM was completely wrong about the new manager. He was anything but good for the store, if anything he left it in worse shape. By this point I was just like F it, if they can't see my work ethic for what it is, they don't deserve me. I was so hurt. SO very hurt. I felt like I had wasted so much of my time there, what was the point? I had at least three previous managers want me to move up, but because of my family & of Emily still very much needing me home at the time, I always declined. Of course all this was under the previous DM. This one seemed to not care at all. There was so much about this place that made no sense, I forgot to mention another thing that happened in the time right before getting the 4 month manager, we had a shift manager (earlier I wrote that 3 or the 4 shifts stepped up.... well she's the one who didn't) she since has been fired, we kept telling the DM, the floater AM, and even corporate she was no good, she called out, she did little to nothing on her shifts, her register & the money in the safe... came up short, over, & just all over the place. You could follow the log & see it was always after she worked. I (w. one of the other shifts encouragement) reached out to the Human Resources dept & also the DM to explain just how bad it was) Even after all we had told them about her, & the fact that her doing nothing was making all of us have to WORK even harder because she did little to nothing on her shifts. How unfair that seemed to us & how detrimental it was to the store) It took an excruciatingly long time for them to get rid of her. It was clear as day to anyone w/ 1/2 a brain she was a big problem. BUT.... they kept her on, with in my opinion more than enough evidence of her "problems". She was months later finally let go, & I'm pretty sure w/ police assistance. At least after we talked to them, they started to watch her. & found more "problems". If they had listened to us, it could have been much earlier. BUT what did we know? We were just running the entire store for no more money. It was awful. This was also another reason that I wanted to be manager, I wanted to make this store better, not to mention that if I was under this much stress, I should at least be getting paid to deal w/ it. After Mr. 4 month manager (It should be noted as well... all 8 previous managers were MEN) I mentioned this to a visiting store manager (a women)who visited our store once during that time frame, now whether that my comment had even gotten back to anyone at corporate, I'll never know, but our 9th manager was finally a woman. She & I got along pretty good, many others had problems w/ her but I didn't, yes she wasn't perfect but she at least cared about the store, she wanted to do the right things & that was more than many of the others. Her biggest problem in my opinion was that she was NEW to the company, not just our store & she worried about in (most of the staffs opinions) the wrong things sometimes. For instance on truck day, instead of being on the floor working on truck (like all the other managers we previously had, had done) she would sometimes waste hours in the office, doing god knows what.. paperwork, etc. You can imagine if the other employees are working hard on truck & busting our asses... we thought she should be as well. It was little things like that, that bothered collectively the entire store. BUT.... in my opinion she was far better than Mr. 4 months had been, so I was relieved she was there. I was less happy with what happened next. The floating AM who had been working there, had to leave due to health problems and a surgery & we after 5 years were finally going to be assigned a full time assistant manager, not surprising (to me), the DM didn't approached me about the job, but the new manager had asked about my interest in it prior to us getting the one we did. (I think it says something that the manager who actually worked with me & knew how hard I worked asked about my interest in the assistant manager position but not the DM who didn't work with me-but more on that in a minute). Our store never had an assistant manager, we always had one manager & a few shift supervisors running the store. I thought at the time it was because of me talking back to the DM was the reason he didn't ask me to be the assistant and that had somehow pissed him off.... I'm nearly 50 years old, If I've learned anything it's that I have a voice & when I see something unfair (DM's deal breaker conversation) I was going to give my opinion on it. I was respectful when I talked to him but clear that my opinion differed from his position. I don't know if he was shocked I spoke up about it, or just didn't like me. or what, but....I after that conversation with him, I had little hope that I would move up, later on i found out that was only part of the reason. I was still hurt by the whole situation. I felt somehow not good enough. I'm a bit sensitive, & have a bit of low self esteem, and it's something I struggled w/ my whole life, so if I said it didn't really hurt me, it would be an out and out lie. It hurt. However, I was trying to move on from it & just accept the few good things about working there. BUT.....the new manager, like so many before her, valued me or at least that's what she said, & why I believed her was she told me that the DM had a bad opinion of me, & that it came from Mr. 4 months.... so... when he asked her how I was doing? he seemed mighty surprised when she said, "Melissa's great! She's the hardest worker I have here." Or at least that's what she told me she said. I'd like to believe she was telling me the truth. I honestly think she was, because she told me not to tell the DM about our conversation... obviously it wouldn't have been good for her to have told me, I had been upfront w/ her on things too... even discussing with her some of the issues the store collectively had with her & she had listened respectively to what I said, perhaps hurt & a little defensive but I understood that & probably would have been the same way. It's hard hearing a criticism of oneself. But.... I'm a pretty upfront person & I thought it was better to clear the air then have it fester. How else could it improve? So I appreciated her telling me, & somehow was relieved knowing I wasn't crazy in my take of how the DM felt towards me. The truth is I didn't care for Mr. 4 month manager. He was in my opinion not appropriate at times, an example was one of the first conversation he started by telling me how he (in his late mid twenties) had been dating an 18 year old. Having an 18 year old daughter I was un-interested in hearing the rest & just didn't think it was appropriate work- conversation to be having w/ someone he barely knew and whom he managed. Totally unprofessional. He was also not a hard worker in my opinion. Lazy, liked to talk, & worked hard only when it was necessary like if he knew corporate was coming. He often left our store to go to other stores for supplies & didn't come back for a long time, way longer than it should have taken to do the task. I saw through his BS. After he left.... one of my co-workers told me that she didn't see it, until after he was gone, but that she realized he caused a rift in our once tight knit group. There was more things about him I didn't like, like how he let his favorite workers use sick time but when I asked him about using a day, he told me I couldn't, the next week he let someone use 3 days, he just wasn't good, and wasn't fair. There were other issues but those are more "gossipy" & I won't go there. He didn't like me, & that was ok, because I didn't like him either. STILL....I worked just as hard under him as I did under any one of the other managers, maybe more because I didn't want him to think that because he & I didn't get along that it would affect my work & in no way did I deserve his criticism. But anyway... we were getting a NEW assistant manager who worked at another store. From the very beginning.... she rubbed me the wrong way. One of the first days I worked w her... she was asked to get rid of the expired milk from the cooler, & didn't do it. (This was a big deal because it could have been a violation against the store had we been audited) She left a note for me to do it, & I pulled it from the cooler & emptied it in the sink, (not an easy task when one is working by themselves), & because I was by myself.... I had not gotten a chance to get rid of the emptied milk cartons & instead had put them in a tote on the counter in an area away from customers & let the next shift manager know that they were there & to please get rid of them. Trash requires you to be in the back of the store, being by ones self & needing to stay by the counter areas I could not have done that because... I WAS BY MYSELF the entire shift & she knew I was by myself, because I called her to tell her that so and so called out... , & it was her day off & I told her not to come in, to enjoy her day off. ( so i did her a solid) & THEN.... she goes & sends an email about the empty milk cartons being left on the counter in the store TO OUR MANAGER who at the time. was on vacation! I was livid, how dare she call me out on something that IF SHE HAD DONE when she was supposed to, would not have been left for me to do, & did I mention I was by myself!! LOL! Also... it was about how she SPOKE to people. She was so rude, she didn't ASK she ORDERED.... She called me names, "You're Unbelievable" "a piece of work"told me very snarky that it was "good, I didn't work at a BUSY store!" among other things. One time she spoke so rudely to me, after I had come in early, to help them out, that I had enough & almost quit, after all the bullshit I had dealt with already with this company, I didn't deserve to be talked to in that way, honestly NO ONE DID! The manager got me to stay but I said, that I would not deal w/ it anymore & if the assistant manager didn't learn to talk to me respectfully that I would call corporate. I never got a chance to call corporate because it was a weekend when it happened again & I simply could not take it. I simply asked a question about the schedule & she bit my head off, & told me I was a "Child" & then tried to make me out to be the one that did something wrong. We can ask or request things & should not be called names because of it. I had enough. I was physically shaking, I could not take anymore... The entire 6 months flashed thru my mind, the complete lack of professionalism that I had been dealing with there for so long. The name calling, everything was too much. Going home crying. over a lousy paying job was going to end. I know I deserved better. I knew it. I had told the manager about it previously & she had agreed the way the new assistant talked to me and other people was wrong... nothing was done. I just COULD NOT TAKE anymore, so I quit. Right there. I couldn't take any more. I didn't deserve any of it. In all my working life I never walked out like that. BUT.... for my mental health, & my physical health too... I needed to. That was a Saturday, by Tuesday I had another job, that paid nearly the same amount...with a lot less responsibilities then the one I just left & had been extremely loyal to for 5 years! It's pretty bad when they let a 5 year associate walk away because of BS. Good luck to them to find someone else who cared as much as I did.<br />
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After I left I reached out to many of the current & previous managers & co-workers just to say, Good bye, and explain why I had to leave. Many I consider friends & out of my respect for them I wanted to reach out to them to say I'm sorry it ended this way. One was a previous manager. I would like to share a part of a text from that person to me, & I hope the person won't mind...<br />
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<i>"...This company is not worth your mental health deteriorating and I'm sure you'll find something better in no time. Hope you know how much I appreciated your help when I was at "that store" you were always my hardest working employee and I wish you the best in whatever you do next..." </i><br />
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It meant so much to me, I am a person who cares about the work I do, always tries my best, gives a lot of myself to my job. I was depressed after walking out like I did, for days was in a depressed state over it, this previous manager's text made me feel so much better, and I appreciate the kindness in those words & I hope he knows how much they meant to me. I'd like to end this with, a Thank you to those I worked with, those who reached out to me & showed me kindness. It reminds me that there was a reason I worked there for 5 years and that while it ended with a two bad managers (Mr. 4 month &. AM), there were a lot of good people I worked with & a lot of great customers. I miss you all. <br />
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<br />Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-56472503160538958312019-11-03T16:50:00.001-08:002019-11-03T16:50:08.161-08:00A winkin', blinkin' and a Nod memoryWhen I was a little girl. My grandmother & at times my mom would sing a lullaby called, Winkin Blinkin & Nod. It popped in my head tonight, I think because I'm really missing my mom. I feel like she calmed me down the best when I was sad, or upset, or angry or whatever. Tonight, I'm worried. I want someone to hold me & tell me, "It's going to be OK" So tonight I found the lullaby on YouTube & every version I found was faster than the way I remember it being sung to me. I wonder if they made up their own melody or if it was a version they heard before. But I sing it, the way I remember them singing it to me. I kind of like that I can't find a version of the way they sang it, like it was special just for me. & also... that I'm reaching the age... that I can't remember why I came into a certain room BUT that I can clear as day remember how I was sung to when I was just a wee little girl & the feeling I got from it still. Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-20983208191186513042019-07-01T07:38:00.002-07:002019-07-01T07:38:45.544-07:00Here's the pic proof<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-27002282483310594892019-04-30T10:45:00.003-07:002019-04-30T10:49:02.937-07:00Accepted Part III...So we call the bookstore to see if they can help us. We explain that our daughter's dream is to meet Geddy Lee, & we bought the book & are planning on being at the signing of course, BUT we also told them about the winter concert and then we did something we NEVER do. We pulled the "special needs" card. The truth is Emily does have ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) & she would be more impatient than other children waiting in that long line to meet Geddy and be uncomfortable with the crowd noise but we would normally just have her deal with it. BUT we were desperate, Emily would fail her class IF she wasn't one of the first in line so we explained that our daughter has ASD & the bookstore without hesitation said NO PROBLEM. We will do our very best to get her in as soon as we can, & we will have chairs in the store for the kids/people with special needs just show your receipt for the book & come into the store, and explain that you talked to me when you get here. OK Great! Kudos to BookEnds in Ridgewood NJ! Class Act business. We still would have to have the timing perfect but this would give us a small window. The truth is we would have to be one of the very first in line, hit no traffic, find the place (we'd never been before) find parking, etc all without anything else unexpected happening & still have to break the law speeding home or else this wasn't going to happen like we'd want. Either way, Emily's dream of meeting Geddy Lee would happen BUT she'd also miss her concert & fail her class. So the idea of a NON-STRESSED meeting of Geddy Lee wasn't going to happen. This would be high stress BUT in our minds still TOTALLY WORTH IT! OK... That just left many days of worrisome wondering if we could really pull this off? So when Dec 18th rolled around, we were all full of excitement mixed with a little nervousness too. As much as we believe the more important in the grand scheme of things was fulfilling a life long dream of Emily's to meet Geddy Lee, it was kind of a big deal for her not to fail her class. You see she had just been accepted into the NHS, after missing it last year so it would not have been cool if the first marking period she was already suspended for not achieving the necessary academic requirements. SO as much as meeting Geddy was EPIC, her grades are SUPER important as well, anyway...... We got up & decided we would pick Emily up from school at like 1:30 or so and head down a little early just in case we could meet him a little early. We drive down, it takes around 2 hours. After exactly 2 hours we are in Ridgewood and we start looking for parking & realize that a grocery store parking lot is just a few short streets away, we decide to park there. Emily has to change clothes in the car. Our incredibly small Mini-Cooper, since we left from her school we didn't have time to do it beforehand. I'm the lookout & am holding up something to cover the window up this way no one sees her. Emily looks cute, wearing a shiny sparkly short black dress (She has to wear Black & white formal clothes to the winter concert) on the bottom & a RUSH T-shirt on the top. So I like to say she was rocker on top & fancy on the bottom. Brian goes in and buys Paper towels so we aren't just using the grocery store & were actually customers. He buys a big pack of paper towels. I guess forgetting how small the car is...lol. We haven't had it that long. ( That goes back to the post "Accepted Part I, and our bad luck but sorry I got off track) Back to the story at hand... Em's pretty tiny so it's ok. The tiny backseat can hold her & the paper towels but just barely. We start walking the couple of blocks to the bookstore & see all these people, two ladies ask us if we are going to see Geddy, we share that our daughter is a HUGE RUSH fan, & it's her, who's actually meeting him. They think it's cool. It really is, in all fairness to my husband he is a huge RUSH fan as well, but Emily has even surpassed him in her LOVE of them. I'm a fan now too, but that's mostly because of Emily. They are so good, I just wasn't into them growing up, I listened to what my mom did COUNTRY & what was popular on MTV-being an 80s girl. A part of me likes that my cool daughter got me into them. lol While walking we also notice how LLLLLOOOONNNNNNGGGG the line is of people waiting, oh shit & here we are thinking we did good coming so early. Ummm... we apparently weren't the only ones with that idea, As it turns out Brian & I were both thinking the same thing, I hope they remembered telling us Emily could be one of the first in line. PLEASE. We get into the bookstore, show them our E-Receipt from Brian's phone. & get the book. We remind them that we had called, told them the story again & they said.. "oh Okay... you can sit on one of the plastic chairs that are lined up around the walls of the store." Brian & Em go sit down. The email from the bookstore mentioned something about the fact that only people that BOUGHT books could be in the bookstore, I'm praying they don't ask me to leave. At this point I just am trying to stay out of the way & wish there was a way to blend into the walls so that I can stay and see Emily fulfill her wish & her bday present. I have my phone ready & so badly want to take a pic!!! SO it's only about 3:30-3:45 at this point & I decide to go get a cup of coffee, there's a Starbucks nearby. It was a pretty cold day so I get Emily a hot chocolate too. Like I said, I don't want them kicking me out of the bookstore & am trying to not be in the way so it was an excuse to escape that feeling for a few minutes. I get back & drink my coffee in the cold outside & feel incredibly bad & guilty for all the people in the snake like line that fills what seems at the time to fill an entire parking lot next to the strip mall that the bookstore is part of, The line is so massive. I wish we'd had taken a pic but we didn't have time to do it. Brian is sitting next to Emily in the store & I'm kinda just standing around hoping it all goes well. At exactly 5 pm, we hear someone say something like he's in the building. The main part of the signing I think will be downstairs but the people who are to meet him first are in the main part of the store. Then he comes out, he's sitting down & next to him is a security officer, and next to him is I think the owner/manager of the bookstore. I'm not sure if Geddy was just overwhelmed because it was the beginning of it, and he didn't know what to expect or if he was just grumpy but the bookstore had the event run like a well oiled machine & there were about 5 people in line before Emily. I'm watching, Geddy isn't inter-acting alot with the people. They are just going up there & he's signing their books. Not shaking hands, not really talking, maybe a hello. I'm getting nervous. We warned Emily in the car that he wouldn't have a whole lot of time, & if she wanted to say anything to him to do it quick, & Emily had been practicing the entire ride down what she was going to say. You see not only is Emily OBSESSED with their music but she is into musicals & also is an aspiring writer herself. She has written a musical w/ RUSH's Music in it. She wanted to share all of that with him, it wasn't looking like that would be the case so none of us had a clue how this would go. As Emily approaches Geddy, she has the most enormous SMILE on her face, she's giddy with EXCITEMENT over meeting GEDDY. Sooooo by the time it's her turn she says in the fastest way possible something like... "I'M A HUGE FAN, I KNOW LIKE 25 SONGS OF YOURS BY HEART. I LOVE RUSH, IVE WRITTEN A MUSICAL WITH YOUR MUSIC IM SO EXCITED TO MEET YOU!!!!!" The whole time she has her hand out to shake his. THEN.... IT HAPPENS... HE MELTS... a huge smile comes across his face & he SHOOK her hand! The entire interaction lasted maybe 30 seconds BUT she was SOOOOO HAPPY!!! For my part I'm trying my hardest to take it all in, I managed to sneak my way up & I got to see the whole thing, I'm just taking shots with my phone & hoping for the best. I felt like I was shaking and doubted that I even got one shot BUT still.... Anyway, when Emily turns around toward me I just break down, I'm kind of sensitive in general but it's not every day you get to see your daughter fulfill a dream come true, so I have a tears running down my face. Em smiles at me, she is always telling me I cry over everything & it's true, but in some weird way I think she likes it too. So she says something like, "You're crying?" & I'm like yeah HAPPY TEARS! She smiles at me. Brian is smiling too. It was really fast but we are happy that it went so well, that it's so far working out...Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-38483939962098898522019-03-23T21:11:00.002-07:002019-04-30T09:38:12.241-07:00Accepted (Part II) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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With Emily's college decision reached and us being satisfied that we investigated and gave it our all to find the best university for Emily. That FDU has the small class sizes & resources that will give Emily what it is she needs in order to be a success as a person, not to mention the chance to become what she's always wanted to be, a writer. We can live with that, I'm not sure if she had taken the easier route of Community college, we would have been as hopeful for her future. I think at a community college she could have become a #. We are hoping she'll be "accepted" at FDU for who she is, especially in her chosen major, a community of like-minded writer types who will hopefully come to have Emily's back as a member of the same tribe. What an amazing thing it would be for our daughter to be INCLUDED by others for who she absolutely is. That's all I've ever wanted. It's important that I share the next tidbit with you because it's one of those moments that feels like it never happens. We often tease in our house that if it wasn't for bad luck, we'd have no luck at all. Just the other day for instance after paying over $3000 to get our car fixed that we would have for one day & get a flat tire, which ends up costing us over $100 to get fixed? Why? Well simply put it seems... because that's our luck. I could give another 50 stories fairly easily with similar tales but why bother depressing myself like that. the next story is mostly an exception to the rule. It involves Emily's birthday gift, it seems sometimes that we get Emily "fine" presents, but it had been a while since we had blown her sock off with one. Well... this year we all but knew we had a real winner of a present. You see one day Brian was on twitter and Emily had retweeted about a book signing that Geddy Lee was doing at a bookstore in North Jersey. Anyway..... Brian saw it & was like WOW... he picks me up at my store after work and I'm like... WOAH, we gotta do it!! This is perfect. Now in case you're reading this and are not really sure who Geddy Lee is? Well.. he's the lead singer of RUSH. If you know anything about RUSH then you are aware RUSH no longer performs. So... this was HUGE!! It was a ONE day only kind of thing, a once in a lifetime opportunity I mean this is a Canadian band who no longer tours, when would she ever get this chance again. SO WE JUMPED on it, we ordered it right there in the car in the parking lot of my store. For the next couple of days, Brian & I were on a high... knowing that we nailed this birthday present. The only even lil' hiccup was that Emily would have to wait almost a month to meet him BUT that would just make it that much more special... SOUNDS good BUT then one night in the middle of the night, I woke up in a panic? It dawns on me that the WINTER Concert is sometime in the middle of December, but it couldn't be the same day could it? Can you feel the bad luck a comin'? YUP, you guessed it, it was the exact day as her winter concert. Now missing out on the concert would have been a bummer BUT it was clear as days to us that meeting Geddy far outweighed missing the winter concert. When her birthday rolls around this was her reaction:<br />
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So she was going to see Geddy Lee, no ifs ands or buts about it. BUT... i know I said no BUTS but after Emily tells the teacher about getting the chance to meet Geddy Lee, the teacher informs her that if she misses the winter concert, she'll all but fail her class because you see the winter concert is basically the grade for the class for that semester. Brian called to plead with the teacher, only to be told well I wish there was something I could do BUT... it is what it is, I wouldn't be fair... blah blah blah. We in theory agree with the teacher but come on... this is Emily's idol, this is RUSH, this is Geddy!! The teacher gives an inch well if Emily can get to the concert before the 2nd half when her "choir concert" plays she'll won't penalize her. OK so when is that? Well it should be around 7:00. But the signing is at 5:30 IN North Jersey a good two hrs away. HOW? Is this going to be possible? HOW? But one way or another Emily was seeing Geddy Lee!!! We had made up our minds, at all cost... Emily was going to meet GEDDY LEE!Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-50885842624763605262019-03-15T10:02:00.004-07:002019-03-30T10:42:03.350-07:00Accepted (Part I)I feel like every new post I write ... "It's been a while" and this one is no different. I haven't really posted on here in a while, mostly the post I've done lately have just been a copy & pasting of stuff from my facebook page. But this is a true and true blog post.... lol. I have so many feelings this year at this moment, in it being Emily's senior year and all. Went fast... faster than I could have ever imagined. Yet here it is and she's 18 & about to graduate. So much is going on... Emily's in her school spring musical again this year, It's called, "The Drowsy Chaperone" & there's been some drama with it this year. Mostly just differences because they have a new director and it feels different than past years but hopefully, all will be okay when it runs next week. Each year there is usually a fundraiser & a spaghetti dinner but none of that this year. Maybe it's because they've always done a Disney production & the play cost more to put on. Paying Copyright and all, I guess. What do I know? This year her senior year I've wanted to just cherish every little moment and I've been working so much, that it's been really hard to do. I feel a bit stunned it's already March. Like What? How? But... what are you going to do? It's here.<br />
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Anyway... a lot of cool things have happened this year and writing them down on here will remind me perhaps that our family has had a great year thus far. In October we visited Fairleigh Dickinson University & Em really REALLY liked it there. It's a small school near NYC. It has a really great Creative Writing program and that being what Emily wants to do, has always wanted to do, it was one of the first things that attracted her/us to the school. In fact, it's #1 in our state. We've visited two other times, one for "Instant Decision" day... she got ACCEPTED & with a $27,000 a year scholarship, a total of $108,000 if she maintains a 3.0 GPA or higher! We are so proud. The "official" letter came in February. The 3rd visit was on March 2nd for a Creative writing workshop. It was like an explore your major day. So freshmen who already were aware of what they would be majoring in, could meet some of their professors, for Emily's group, they had to bring in an original one-page fiction short story, or poem and share it with others and get feedback from it in a group setting. They shared the stories with each other. Very cool. Now, all that sounds great, except the visit on March 2nd seemed so unorganized. The other two visits were good but this one was a tad chaotic. We actually arrived on time but when we got to the security gate they told us the wrong information as for where it was taking place & then it took like 45 minutes and two other wrong places before she finally got to the right location of the workshop. So she missed a few people reading their stories/poems. Em has been working on a novel called, "Forget 55" which is about, believe it or not "Birds" in a post-apocalyptic time period, so she shared a page from that. While she was in the workshop, we were planning on driving around to see the surrounding areas around the university but because of the delay decided to just wait on the campus. Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't just three visits and we were like this is it! The idea of Emily going to college is terrifying. Is she ready? She still has a lot to learn. BUT I imagine in many ways that will be where she'll learn it. BUT.... we wondered and wondered and wondered what the right thing to do would be. We knew that Emily was smart enough to attend school but still worried if she was capable of handling the other aspects of being away from home. With Emily's Autism Spectrum Diagnosis it's a bigger deal for Emily than it might be for another college freshman. Up until we discovered Fairleigh Dickinson, we really thought that a community college was probably where she would be attending, but seeing the school and the campus, it really felt "right". The classes are probably smaller than her HS classes. The students were so super nice, the staff & everyone. It became an even clearer choice when she received such a high merit scholarship. Without it, it would have been out of the financial question, it's an expensive private college and we wouldn't have wanted to have Emily leave school with that much debt, especially considering she could possibly attend a community college for free under a state scholarship program. SO... Fairleigh Dickinson became an option to really consider after that. I have to say this though... we felt like the "poor" people there. It's a little more affluent of an area than the one we are from, and everyone seemed to look & act the part. It shouldn't matter but a flaw of mine is that I worry way more than I should about what other's think,... it somehow still felt awkward and uncomfortable for me. But I'm not going there so it really only matters if Emily felt that way, she seemed not to. She still loved it just as much! No matter what I'll probably still worry but we did seem to reach a compromise we could live with. Which was? Emily will take a gap year. We explained to admissions how we weren't sure Emily was quite ready for college, we thought as a family it would be best for her to take a gap year off. SO she won't be attending school until September 2020. We will do our very best in that year to get her more ready to attend. More responsibility, more experiences, and just more time was needed for Emily & us too to feel ready for this. I honestly believe this is for the best and since they have agreed that the gap year will not affect her scholarship, we are, albeit still apprehensive, at least way more comfortable with the decision, much more than having her attend right out of high school...<br />
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Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-48048640136217947832019-02-28T14:00:00.004-08:002019-02-28T14:00:48.756-08:00 Back on Thanksgiving day in 2000 I was pregnant and It was so early in my pregnancy I was barely showing. Long before I became pregnant, Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday. I think because I love food so much, but on this day I wasn't thinking of food, I was thinking about what was going to happen to my baby. I was preparing to deliver my baby girl early. My blood pressure was so out of control and the baby was starting to show signs it was affecting her as well. She was small, even for her gestation age and the doctors were worried. So around 2 pm in the afternoon, I was rolled into the operating room for an emergency C-Section, and very soon after my daughter Emily was born, weighing only 14.7 ounces and 10 inches long. She was so small they tried to prepare us for the fact that she may not survive her birth, she might not cry, She did both... months were spent in the hospital, surgeries, infections, 180 days in total she fought for her life, and she WON. Today, she is an 18-year-old National Honor Society member high school senior, who has been accepted into Fairleigh Dickinson University, with an impressive 4-year merit scholarship. She is amazing, and for all her inner spirit, and an intense will to live, we also know that she would not be here today if not for the March of Dimes and all they have done to improve the chances for micro-preemies to survive. We are beyond thankful and this year's walk is our 17th one. We knew we had to give back. We knew how blessed we were. Please. Please help us? Please donate to our page and help our family's team help other parents and premature babies. The ultimate goal is to help babies be born healthy and to stop other parents from having to lose precious days of their babies lives in the hospital. I feel like I blinked and Emily's now 18! I know though many parents don't get to experience the joy of bringing their babies home or watching them grow up, like we were blessed to be able to, we walk for healthy babies, we walk for sick babies and we walk to prevent the heartbreak of a baby born too soon and too sick to survive, and we remember the precious gift of our Emily so we keep on... Marching for babies. Please donate to our team or join our team and help us give March of Dimes the chance to help even more babies.<a href="http://www.marchforbabies.org/meliwil" target="_blank">www.marchforbabies.org/meliwil </a>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-54802993723747583542019-02-28T06:02:00.003-08:002019-02-28T06:12:39.144-08:00March for Babies 2019<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> We went to the March for Babies kick-off dinner just last night. Then this morning I read an article about a baby born weighing only 10 ounces who was leaving the hospital!! It was a great reminder of why we walk. We walk to help babies be born healthy & to give babies who weren't a fighting chance. March of Dimes concentrates all its efforts on research and support to do just that! </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">So when you see my post again this year, remember this sweet baby & my Emily too. They both benefited from March of Dimes. I guarantee someone you know (other than Emily) has too. If your baby got an Apgar score at birth- they have! It isn't hard to give $5 or $10 to our team, when you think about it in those terms. It wasn't just someone else's baby, it was yours too! Love you all for all your support every year! XO Emily graduates high school this year, still can't believe it! I know she would love if all of you would make this year's "Team Emily" fundraising for March of Dimes, our best one yet! Call it an early graduation gift?</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <a href="https://www.marchforbabies.org/Meliwil" target="_blank">https://www.marchforbabies.org/Meliwil</a><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline; font-size: 14px;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-31612521464729411682019-01-19T07:17:00.001-08:002019-01-19T07:17:12.099-08:00<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Apparently, Emily got a standing ovation in her AP English class over one of her poems. We didn't even know about the poem/presentation until after she had presented it & then she came home & told us about her classmates' & teacher's reactions to it. She had to choose a poet, discuss the poet & one of his poems, and come up w/ a parody poem in the same length & meter as the poem chosen. Her poem was about the siege on Yorktown. So Emily read her poem, & her current teache</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">r was so blown away by it that she immediately went to her English teacher from last year to tell her about Emily's poem, & Em's old teacher simply said, "I told you so"... she also texted Emily's history teacher from last year & shared the poem with him. I love this kid! <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"type":104,"tn":"*N"}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/shesspecial?source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">Shesspecial</span></span></a> By the way.... This is the same kid who's freshman English teacher within the first week of that school year told us she wasn't sure Emily could handle honors English... which pissed us off, & who we basically said through clenched teeth, " let's give her some time." By back to school night, that first HS English teacher was apologizing to us. So to other teacher's out there, kids don't all fit into your ideal round holes. Give them time... get to understand that child before practically breaking their spirits & having them doubt themselves. Emily had a hard time Freshmen year doubting herself, it was the only time I'd really seen her like that, & I think it had a lot to do w/ that teacher's words.</span>Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784864707750689373.post-68584748038614068152018-12-02T11:22:00.001-08:002018-12-02T11:22:13.052-08:00Emily's 18th Birthday! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Emily turned 18 a few weeks ago. It was an amazing birthday! It's truly mind-boggling how fast that went, her childhood flew by. I know I say that every year but this year it's especially true. As officially her "childhood" chapter is ending. She is now a young woman. She has promised me though, that I can still call her my baby.... lol. Honestly, though, I could not be more proud of her! She has accomplished so much this year. Just a few days ago she was accepted into her High school's chapter of the National Honor Society. She was invited to apply last year but just missed the cutoff. So she really buckled down since then to make it in this time around. She has a volunteer job at the largest branch library in our county. She again is a member of the Academic Challenge Club. She got straight A's this marking period, although technically she got all A's and one B+ (one of her teachers did not put in a grade & has said she would) We'll see, in my mind she got straight A's, so I don't care what her report card says...lol. She is in her HS Choir for the first time and will again be a member of the ensemble cast for her senior year's musical. This year they are putting on a musical called, "The Drowsy Chaperone". Emily is in the early stages of planning for college. She will be applying to two colleges before the 15th. She would like to go to Fairleigh Dickinson. It has the best creative writing program in NJ. We visited the campus in October and Emily LOVED it! If there was a "perfect" school for Emily, it certainly felt like FDU was it. BUT..... we all are still unsure she is ready to be on her own on campus. She has made so many strides in the last year but she does have some very minor special needs probably related to her premature birth, as well as being on the Autism Spectrum. Which generally just mean it takes Emily a little longer to be ready for some things than other kids her age. No biggie. At least in Emily's case, it seems to me anyway, that other things come easier for her too. As the theme song goes, "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have .... The facts of Life" That's how I think of it anyway. Like all kids, she has her strengths and weaknesses. The thing about being on the Autism Spectrum is that it doesn't mean one thing, every person on the spectrum has their own journey with it. It wasn't even something we discussed much with anyone. We, along w/ Emily's pediatrician, had discussed it over the years, but it wasn't something we really thought much about. Emily was doing well in school & most important was happy in life. So aside from some "social" interaction issues. She had done PT & OT. She had always TESTED out of, and we tried our best to encourage her to be active in school to help with her social skills. She still struggles a little w/ communicating effectively but I can see lots of improvement there as well. She also lacks direction. We kind of lovingly tease her about the fact she can never remember which way to turn after coming out of places like she can't remember where we parked. We describe it as a lack of spatial awareness. She's a bit oblivious like that. Those are some of the ways her ASD presents itself. BUT.... I would not change a thing about Emily. She is kind, caring and the most joyful person. She is a wonderful just the way she is! She still has work to do, but who of us doesn't. I know I do! If a four-year college isn't in the works yet, Emily will probably attend a community college next year. Especially if she manages to get into the NJ Stars program, which is a program in NJ that allows students in the top 15% to attend a community college for free. Emily's around 16-17th% in her class. So we will see, the count senior year. We are hoping that Emily's college doesn't cost her a fortune. We can't afford to pay, and so we are hoping scholarships will really help! fingers crossed. Ok. I felt like I had to catch you up with Emily, since it's been forever since I posted...... BUT now for the exciting birthday news. We are officially golden parents right now in Emily's eyes at least...BECAUSE we got her tickets to a Geddy Lee book signing!!!! In case you are young or live under a rock, I will tell you... Geddy Lee is the lead singer of the band, RUSH! Emily has been a fan of Rush's for a long time now. It started w/ her playing "ROCKBAND" on Playstation when she was just a wee little one, and she loved singing their song," Limelight". But it has become an out and out obsession the last several years. She, unfortunately, was never able to see them perform live so this will be the next best thing!! Geddy Lee is absolutely her IDOL! She was soooo happy! We have a video of her opening the present! It rivals some of the "viral" videos of kids who open presents of trips to Disney. She is beyond EXCITED!!!Manic Missyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490103046063945874noreply@blogger.com0