Scary times... 2020

Hi, Well... it's been so long since I actually have sat down to write on this blog, but something inside has been bugging me to do it today, so here goes.  We are all under LOCK DOWN due to the Covid 19 virus, or the corona virus.  It's crazy this thing.   We have a state wide curfew of 8 pm.  WE are only allowed to go out for essential items.  Unfortunately & fortunately I work at an essential business so I am still working.  Most of the time, I wish I wasn't,  I worry I will bring it home to my family, especially I worry about bringing it home to Emily, who since she was born so premature & was on a ventilator for so long has Chronic Lung disease already.  I'm taking this very serious & even when those rare moments come into my thoughts like are we OVER reacting they quickly leave.  NJ is the state with the 2ND highest # of cases of Covid 19 & that's REAL.  New York has the highest # of cases in our country & I think at this point in it, we have over 415,000 cases in our country alone.  I haven't really watched the news today.  It's incredibly depressing to do so.  I watch tooooo much news but it's been really making me quite depressed so I've been trying to watch a little less.  We are also doing this thing called "social distancing" which means standing at least 6 feet away from one another.  Since the 3rd week in March, we have pretty much remained in our homes with the exception of work (for me) & the grocery store & walks/runs (for Brian).  Brian's been lucky that he is still working too, he is just working from home.  Brian's work is actually in Bergen County which is the HARDEST hit & highest total cases in our state.  Very scary.  We are lucky he is working from home & his company is still doing ok.  Thank God.  Many people are out of work & there have been record high #'s of people who have filed for UN-EMPLOYMENT benefits.  It's INSANE!  I rarely talk about our current president.  He makes my blood boil, he is so completely incompetent & just a despicable person in general.  I don't utter his name.  Ofcourse he blames everyone else for his failures but himself, there is NO BUCK STOPS HERE in his thoughts.   It's everyone else's fault but his, the only problem with that, it is HE who actually has been in the office for 3 1/2 years & HE who cut the Pandemic response team during his watch. He wasn't on top of it in the beginning & refuses to admit he did anything wrong.  When in reality he did many things wrong.  I just pray to god that he is voted out of office in November.  it's such a scary time.  I requested to my boss that she cut down my days.  Which she has to 3 instead of 4. I've been off the last 4 days but return to work tomorrow on Friday & Saturday.  Every day I'm at work, every moment it's high stress.  It's overwhelming & I worry about bringing it home.  I'm doing every thing in my power to lessen the chance.  Using gloves, using a face mask *just started & washing my hands as best I can through out my shift BUT I'm still scared,  We seem to be starting to slow down but without an actual vaccine to fight it, we will most surely have a 2nd wave at some point.  I feel very sorry to all the kids who are graduating this year.  They are missing out on a lot of "final" things in HS and even college.  Most have already missed their senior trips, many missed their proms & some have even canceled graduation. All students are being home schooled.  I'm in many ways grateful Emily graduated last year, although she has even missed things as well.  Like "Admitted" students day, and the like at FDU.  She is in the middle of her gap year & it's not been going as planned for sure, this Covid 19 has thrown a wrench in many peoples lives & plans.  BUT..... we are all doing these things to lesson this from getting even more dangerous & deadly.  It is showing signs of working so that's something.  I wonder & worry about whether we, all will be able to get back to normal.  I pray we can.  My hope is that we all have learned things, learned what is most important in life. Perhaps we can come out of this closer & more caring & maybe even more fiscally responsible than we were before.  Maybe a lot of good will come of it.  For sure, a lot of bad has.  CNN has tried to put faces behind the #'s.  They are telling us about the people who have lost their lives to this virus.  That's the part of the the news,  that gets me the most.  #'s are just #'s but knowing & seeing the people who have lost their lives to this, is so incredibly sad.  Those people had family's who loved them.  Had people who relied on them.  For those people it's not just #'s. It's "Pop PoP" or "Nana" or a favorite uncle or aunt or the best cousin on earth.  I pray for the health of my own family but for the grace of god, we could all be one of those people who have lost their lives.  I hope too, that after this is all done... people will realize what a true leader should look like & that it is far from our current leader and come together to vote him out! But at this moment... I just want this to slow down & then STOP.  I wanna stop hearing about Corona this.. and Corona that... death, desperation, sickness, victims & just hear about normal news, & I pray to god that my family is spared & we all can come out of it somehow for the better.