Friday, September 15, 2017

Retail funnies

So I work retail,  I'm a shift manager at a "Major" drug store.  Isn't that what they would always say if you were a contestant on a game show in the 80's?  So lately there's been some really funny or at least I think they are funny things that have happened at work.  I do actually enjoy my job. Not of course all aspects of it, but I like keeping busy and interacting with customers & co-workers. The other day our Asset protection district manager comes in for a visit.  For the sake of the story, I'll just call him, "Roc" anyway Roc is talking to another worker we will call "Juan", anyway I go into the office where they are talking & say something like this,
"Excuse me?  Did Juan tell you about the bacon we found?"

Roc is like, "No... what about bacon"  

So I say, "Well we found this rolled up bacon package that we think fell out of some shoplifters pants,  It was rolled up in a ball & when we found it it was still cold, so I think I have a pretty good idea who attempted to steal it" 

Roc than says, "Really, wow people are crazy" 

I'm like,  "Yeah and that's not the only thing, we also found a 1 1b container of butter that was crumpled up.  SO we are assuming the person who stole it must have put the individual sticks down his pants too and left the container,  I guess it was easier to conceal that way." 

Roc says,  "Wow!  Bacon and Butter" 

To which (without missing a beat mind you) I say.... "Yeah, hasn't he heard about the ongoing cholesterol problem in America"  A nod of course to the greatest movie of all time, "My Cousin Vinny"  

He looked at me like I had two heads, so I don't think he got it. 

But I thought I was HYSTERICAL!


Here's another little gem.

I have this co-worker (& friend) name "Liza" that was working one morning & I didn't come in til after she had already left for the day.   The store manager always leaves a daily note for the shift managers about what we have to get accomplished for the day.  Anyway this particular note also included what was said that morning on the weekly mandatory manager's conference call.  One of the notes from the call was,

-All employees must be in their work clothes, including name tags every day.
  To which Liza writes under it, -CANCEL PAJAMA DAY! 

 I about died,  I thought it was the funniest thing.  It just tickled my funny bone.  Even now I think it's brilliant.   I mean cause what do they think?  That we are a bunch of morons.  







Thursday, September 14, 2017

My Kiddo is a Junior!!! What? How?

So it's back to school time again.  Emily's a junior this year!  I literally can't imagine that I have a kid who is a junior.  That's insane to me.   How did this happen?  But ok... I've got to face facts, I do indeed have a Junior in High school!!  LOL!  It's truly astonishing how fast it went. I also could not be prouder of her.   This year will probably hold sooo many new experiences for Emily.   She (we) will be tiptoeing our way through college planning.  I say tiptoeing because she's only a Junior so we have a little time.  But since this is my only child,  maybe I'm just being naive there.  She will have to take the SAT's this year.  We are thinking in May.  She did well when she took a PSAT in Freshman year.  So hopefully she'll do well again,  Thankfully she doesn't get too stressed out about those kinds of test.   I know she will do fine,  she is very lucky that she has a really good grasp of many different kinds of studies.   Anyway, my hopes for this new year for her are what they are every year, that she makes a new friend or two.  That she is happy, safe,  that she continues to learn the life skills she will need to live successfully independently one day.  As well I hope she continues to love learning.  Emily is and always has been a lover of learning.  I remember when she was about 2.  I signed her up for this monthly book learning series mail order thing.  I believe it was called "Brighter Vision" learning series or something like that.  She got it for several years.  Each month the package would arrive and it would contain an activity book, a project of some kind & an actual book.  It was really cool. it would grow with your child, so the older the child got, the more advanced the materials.  Ever since Emily was very young, toddler age or before....  she has enjoyed books, would sit on your lap and let you read book after book to her.   I think this contributed to her reading at such an early age.  She was reading well before her 3rd birthday.  Her love of learning hasn't diminished any either,  it's obviously evolved & today many of her learning is via TV or the internet but it's still there.  That love for learning. Learning about EVERYTHING!   We always tease her that she can't believe everything on the internet... we say "BonJour" because of that TV commercial from awhile ago about the man who listed himself as a "french model" on the internet, but was really just some random below average looking fellow, who's line was "BonJour" to "prove" he was who he claimed.   I forget what the commercial was for.  I'd call that's a marketing fail. LOL!  Right now her favorite show on television is this show she discovered called Mysteries at the museum.  Which tells interesting tales about famous or infamous things from the past, things you might find in a museum.  I've actually not seen an episode of it.  It apparently has been on for like 11 seasons, how do I know this,  because we have 57 episodes on the DVR.   She has watched most of them.  We are down to like 20% of space.  How will I record my real housewives?  ;)   Anyway... just wanted to pop on her to give my kiddo a shout out and say,  "Emily.... have a great year!  You are amazing and I love you!"  Love, Mom.