Tuesday, December 31, 2013


So you think you got away with it
You think I'm unaware
But I know better than I show
& much more than I'm willing to share

Why hurt others with your ugliness
What good would it really do
Would they believe me anyway?
They think that they know you

I dislike that I'm a faker
Pretending that I don't know
When what I really want to do
Is scream it from the mountain's snow

What I know for sure without a doubt
You'll never be a real friend
Your core is just messed up
Much more evil in the end

It's hard when the thing that would free me
Would cause pain to others in the way
So I bite my tongue, I give a hug
knowing karma will get you one day

Melissa Williams
Dec 31,2013

Sunday, December 15, 2013

The best dream...

My mom passed away in May of 2001.  She was only 51 years old.  Christmas time always gets me thinking about her a little more than usual.  She's always floating around my thoughts but at Christmas time it's even more so.  Today I was thinking about the first time I dreamt of her after she passed.  The truth is considering how much I love her, it's surprising to me that she doesn't come into my dreams a little bit more than she does.  I so want her to, maybe that means however that she's really contend whereever she is... that of course makes me smile. Anyway, the first time I dreamt of her, it was perfect.  She hadn't been gone long, maybe a month or less. In the dream.... She was sitting on the sofa, & I was sitting on the floor directly in front of her leaning against the sofa.   I looked up over my shoulder & simply said, "Mom... you know that I love you" & she said, "Yeah... I know"   that's all... so simple & yet so comforting.   thank you Mom.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

A great company "SMARTLAB TOYS"

Well I wanted to share on here a great experience I had with a company called, "Smart Lab Toys".  I had recently bought a toy from this company at a "bargain" store called Ollie's.  The Box was a little beat up BUT the price very in-expensive so I decided to get it anyway for a present for Christmas.  I looked around the store for a while but it was the ONLY one left.  Since Emily loves Science & the toy said 8+.  I thought my little "science" girl would like it, & since even if she is a little old for it, was willing to try it for that price.  If she plays with it only a few times it would be worth it.  She loves science & her particular science class is actually learning about a similar thing this year.   I don't want to say what it is, just in case Emily sees this! So anyway... when I got home I realized that the "book" was not included which is probably why it was so in-expensive, althought it didn't say anything like "missing parts" on the box & wondered if the book also was the "instructions" since there wasn't any of them either.  I decided to reach out to the company, in the hopes they could send me the instructions.  The company no longer even sells this particular toy on their website, but said they would try hard to find the book (they figured they had to have a copy of one somewhere) within a few days they asked me for my address & that they had found one & would send it to us! I corresponded with a woman named Amy, who was so sweet & very helpful.  I just wanted to share this with you, if you have a science loving kid or are just trying to "encourage" them to be one.  Or if you like educational toys, give this company a try, it's nice to know of a company that still goes the extra mile! I was really impressed with the toy & the customer service of this company...  Here's the link:


I think it would be a "smart" decision on your part. haha.. anyway Merry Christmas!

xo Missy

Friday, December 13, 2013

Question of the day?

How do you "push/encourage" your children without "pressuring" them? #beingaparentishard

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Well it's almost Christmas again.  I realized from looking back at my blog post year after year I vent on here about how stressed/down I'm feeling at this time every year.  This year is no different in some ways  BUT make no mistake, even with saying that, I really love Christmas.  I love seeing Emily's smiling face on Christmas morning!   I love the spirit of the holiday.  I just wanted to share that on here, cause I don't want years from now someone to read these post & think boy was she a real Grinch.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who along w/ all the merriment the holiday brings,  there is also as we grow older ,especially, a sadness that comes too.  Perhaps I'm just a little bit more honest than most... I think a lot of people are better than me at pretending.  That is only a theory,  or perhaps just a way to make me feel better about being a tad "Debbie downer-ish" at this time of year.   I feel a lot this time of year, I feel joy & sadness. It's the reminder that our love ones that passed away are not with us.  For me too as I get older, I realize how the "spirit" of the holiday often times get's lost to all the "materialism" of it.   There are also all these "deadlines" for lack of a better word. We "must" decorate, We "must" put up the lights,  We "must" put up the tree, We "must" send out the Christmas cards.  We "must" buy the presents!  When we look at it that way I suppose, it can seem "overwhelming" & I guess we all should look at it like we don't have to, but we want to do those things... but the sad reality is, even if we want to do those things.. sometimes we don't physically have the time or money to do them.  As it seems may be the case this year for our family.  Brian has been away on business for the last two weeks,  he'll be home on Saturday evening, then Emily & he will be taking an overnight trip right after. So it's put a real crimp in the plans this year.  Our Christmas lights aren't up... & it seems they are NOT going to get put up this year.  I did decorate the inside of the house but we have yet to get our tree. Again who knows when this will get done.   I'm not complaining & it's okay with me.  But having a child you want for them to have "that" Christmas experience.  That magic feeling.  But really is it just us putting that pressure on ourselves.  I often wonder that... growing up I didn't have the "perfect" Christmas I long for Emily to have & honestly,  It's not what I remember nor do I find myself upset over so why do I put this pressure on myself.  Maybe it's nothing more than like most things wanting more for your child than you had.  But is all the stress worth it? I guess that's the big question.  I wonder what the answer is, I'll probably keep doing this year after year... but on Christmas day it's usually all worth it, right?

Friday, December 6, 2013

True Story

 HATE those links w a statement like "these two foods are destroying ur life"
well since i wanna know what two foods r destroying my life...
i click the link & then see & hear it, "the voice" you know the one & the video
 which goes through an entire self help book just to try & sell me something...
& try as I might I never quite can finish the damn thing 2 actually hear WTH were the 2 foods!