Thursday, May 31, 2007

The crying phase?

Emily has been having a tough time in school recently. She's cried in class the last two days. Maybe it's just a crying phase. Today the nurse called and was like Mrs. D doesn't know what to do, Emily has been crying and will not do her work. Okay, so what am I suppose to do? I didn't know. I asked to talk to Emily and I asked her why she was crying? SHe said she was sick... which I knew wasn't true. SHe has discovered little tricks to get out of talking/ or doing something she doesn't want to. For instance, when I got the note yesterday from Emily's teacher saying Emily had a difficult day and was crying. I tried to ask Emily about it, and she was like " I need to use the potty." I guess all kids go thru stages, we have been trying to talk to her about using words to tell when something is upseting her instead of crying or getting frustrated. I think part of the problem has to do with Emily being a perfectionist. We finally figured out that she got upset when she was having problems tracing some math problems. She couldn't get them to stay on the lines and she just couldn't deal with that. She got upset and then started crying. She just becomes more easily upset then most kids. I dont' know why. (the fact: she was 14.7ounces when she was born and she isn't the SAME as other kids!) We tell her all the time to just try her best and that it doesn't have to be perfect. It's okay. But she is having some problems learning this. She is a little more emotionally immature than alot of kids her age. She is so smart but the maturity level isn't there to handle it. I just want her to be happy and I hope that there are resources at the school to help her. I think it's hard when your kid is a little different because it's easier for the school to handle things when all the kids are cookie cutter kids. Emily is special and we've tried really hard to explain this to them. I mean haven't they been with her this whole year and realized that Emily may need a little more guidance with some things. I'm just ranting and not sure what/who I'm frustrated at. I just want Emily to be happy, and when I hear she is crying, it makes me sad and when I don't have all the answers, I feel helpless. I guess all parents want the same for their kids. My friends are sometimes jealous because Emily is so smart, they struggle for hours with homework and getting their children to read. For us that part always came easy for Emily... it takes her 5 minutes to do her homework. She reads amazingly well and LOVES doing school work. But she gets so upset when something doesn't come out exactly right. SHe also has a harder time socially, Physically she isn't at the same level as other kids,andshe has a harder time interacting the same way the other children do. As a mother it's hard to see your child struggling. So I wish that those things came as easily for Emily as they do for other kids. As parents we all just want our kids to be happy and for things to be easy for them. But we have to remember that life isnt always easy and that part of growing is learning how to handle the things that are not always easy and we just need to love them for who they are right now. And I do.

An Early Picture of Emily

Emily about 3 weeks old

I wanted to share with you a picture of Emily. This was taken when she was about 3 weeks old. She probably weighed about 1 lb. It's remarkable to see where she is now. :) Isn't life amazing!! Notice Brian's thumb is bigger than her head. SHe was so tiny 10 1/2 inches long!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Simply Remembering My Favorite Things

-watching Emily sleep
-memories of my Mom
-Rosie's blog
-Belly laughing
-lightning storms
-TV show "Freaks & Geeks"
-Brian's back rubs
-Mexican Food
-Full moons
-the smell of the Boardwalk
-My cats
-Coffee Coolattas
-Peaceful moments
-feeling loved
-music that reminds....

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Emily's Grocery "NO"te

Hi all... Just a bit of cuteness.. Yesterday Emily wrote me a note to take with me to the grocery store.... It read....


And I had to take it with me... she made me put it in my pocket. A side note: no one likes tomates and I NEVER buy them. LOL!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Happy Memorial Day!

Hello... Happy Memorial Day!! My family had a great day. We went to Glassboro and watched a parade. It had VETERANS, fire trucks,bands, music, balloons, Beauty Pageant winners, and MUMMERS. All the makings of a terrific parade. We are lucky to live in NJ and be so close to Philadelphia that some of the MUMMERS string bands were in the the parade. A fine time was had by all. A few days ago, my daughter asked alot of questions this year about Memorial day. She's just at that phase where she ask a lot of questions. She asked me if we made breakfast? (like Mother's Day )and I said no, you honor and remember all the soldiers that help our country. I thought she understood a little bit. Until she asked her daddy this morning, If she got presents on Memorial day? So we went over it again with her. About the soldiers, how brave they are, how much they do to help America/the world, how important they are, and that we should Thank them. I think she finally got it. Atleast as much as a 6 1/2 year old can. She was so happy while watching the parade.. when the veterans/ military vehicles went by she would wave her little american flag. I looked at her and felt pure joy. She makes me believe in the American dream.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Family Day

Well today was family day at my house. Every Saturday we kind of let Emily (our daughter )rule. She gets to decide what we do as a family. Today we went bowling. We had a really nice time. Emily weighs all of 35 lbs and the ball weighs 6lbs so it's quite a thing to see her lift it and throw/roll/push that thing down the lane. Two times some kid that worked at the bowling alley had to retrieve the ball becuase it kind of stopped halfway down the lane. It was really cute... and we bowled two games and Emily didn't complain or not enjoy herself once. SHE LOVED IT!! Brian(my hubby) is going to Orlando on Saturday for a week on business. Which SUCKS! So it was really nice to have this great family day before he has to leave. Brian is also going to Ireland this summer for two weeks... it's his dream vacation. He is going with his best friend who just happens to be named Brian too. Many people think I'm crazy for not going. I honestly beleive Brian will have more fun there with Brian than with me. They are more similar and will enjoy some of the same things: hiking, mountains, cliffs, scary wooden rope bridges between two mountains, etc. Those things don't much interest me and I am terribly afraid of heights. Yes, my phobias stop me from doing alot but that's just how it is for me. The funny thing is my husband DOES NOT drink alcohol at all. SO the pubs are really not of much interest to him. They would probably be the thing I'd like the best.... not that I'm much of a drinker either, but I do enjoy social drinking sometimes. We are the kind of people that don't even have any alcohol in our house. If I go to a BBQ or something I might have a mixed drink or a beer occasionally. But that's it. Brian keeps saying that as soon as they learn he doesn't drink at all they may just kick him out of Ireland or something. It's not like he doesn't drink becuase he was an alcoholic or something... he just hates the taste of alcohol. I occasionally wish that he would drink (just sometimes) becuase I think it can be fun & relaxing. Like a glass of wine or something. But I'd take him this way as opposed to an alcoholic any day. So it's fine with me that he doesn't drink!! He'll probably come back from Ireland a drunk and then I'll be in trouble. I really don't think that all Irish people drink--- just most of them :) LOL I haven't been on vacation in over a year and I could really use one though. We are trying to plan a trip to New Mexico to visit my Mother in Law. She moved there about 3 or 4 years ago and we STILL haven't been out to see her. So we are beginning to feel bad, so we definately need to get out there sometime this summer. She's a real hoot... she moved from NYC to New Mexico. Just call her Georgia O'keefe but for her it's not painting it's photography. SHe's also a world traveler.. she's been to China, Peru, Turkey, Greece, Moraco, and many others. She's a pretty remarkable person. She visits often but I wish for Emily's sake that she lived closer. Especially since my mom isn't alive I wish that Emily's other grandma was here for her more. But I can't really control that it's just my wish. Growing up my Grandmom lived close to us and even at some points with us so maybe thats part of it too. Anyway it's getting very late and I have to work at the deli tomorrow... (UUURRRGGGHHH I really hate that job. I need to quit. I only work on Sundays and even that is too much. I think that means I need to leave) so I guess I'll go to bed now. Peace.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Serious Stuff

No one has read my blog(except my husband :) .. oh well mostly writting it just for me anyway. It would probably be very scary to have people read and comment and feel judged. I worry about what people think to much. Oh well, another flaw.. we all have them, right? I was reading poetry tonight. I really like Henry Wadsworth Longfellow... his poems are beautiful and rhyme. I like that. I was always a Shel Silversten girl. I just love the flow of rhyming poems. My husband writes terrific poems. He used to write alot!!! But doesn't write much anymore... it's kind of sad. I hope something inspires him soon to write again. I miss them. Anyway this poet I discovered tonight Henry Wadsworth Longfellows' poems are very good. You should check them out? Whoever "you" may be that comes accross this blog. He is a famous poet so "you" probably are already aware of him. When I was young and in school I had no interest in things that I wish I knew more of now. We didn't learn much about poets in my school. I mean if you didn't take advanced classes or college prep courses, you were just taught the bare minimum and that is really sad. I also think I just went to a really crappy school. Although it wouldn't have mattered how much you were taught if you didn't have an interest in learning it. I just wanted to get out of high school--- I wish I knew then what I know now. Isn't that always the case? Atleast I'm learning now and that really is all that matters. I find myself being in a time in my life that I want to learn more things. To find out why things are the way they are and who contributed to them being that way and how do we help to make things better? The world is very scary right now and you want to know all about why it is so bad. Yet it's overwhelming and really scary looking for answers. I'm feeling serious tonight and I don't really know why.. maybe it's that my daughter is growing up so fast. She's just becoming such an amazing human being and it makes me proud and yet scared--- cause I want the world to be better for her. She deserves it to be better. She will make it better when she is old enough, but right now she just makes it better for me and her Daddy and all who know her. That is what I need, just to remember how I feel when I look at her. I feel encouraged and know how good this world truly is. Well Goodnight and may you find your own peace when you look at the people that you love.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Rosie & Poop

I am addicted to Rosie O'Donnells blog. I just love it! I know alot of people don't like Rosie. But I just do. First of all she seems so genuine. I mean love her or hate her she is who she is and I respect that. I also happen to agree with about 85 % of what she says. I am a fairly liberal democrat. I believe in a woman's right to choose, I totally support stem cell research, I don't agree with the war in Iraq and think we should withdraw as soon as possible. I'm a little wishy washy when it comes to voicing these opinions to others and I dig people who can stand up for what they believe in. I am too afraid to speak too loud and I think it's cool she isn't. Anyway, 0n to other things.... my daughter finally is pooping on the potty. She is 6 1/2 and I was beginning to think she would still be in a pull up to poop when she went on her honeymoon. But its been 2 weeks and she hasn't needed those dreaded pull ups once. I'm so relieved (about not having to change any more of those things) and so happy ( yes--- she is doing it in the potty ) and so proud ( yeah! yeah! yeah! she is doing it!) I JUST HAVE TO SAY THIS....... I will not sympathize with any parent who tells me how hard it is to potty train their 2 1/2 year old and how it took 6 months. I mean really come back to me after 4 years and I promise I will give you all the sympathy and love you need. But otherwise Shove it ... I am the poop nazi .. " No sympathy for you!" (gotta love Seinfeld) Anyway it's getting kind of late and I'm feeling a little sleepy so I think I'll end this right here. Goodnight! and Happy Dreaming! Peace.

Why Manic Missy?

Hi... Why did I choose my blogs name... Well, I thought it sounded cool and I am kind of Manic. Not in a real health crisis way but in a very nerotic personality way. If I'm up I'm really up and if I'm down I'm really down. Maybe I should go see someone about it but I won't. I'm a pretty happy person must of the time. I just WORRY way more then the average person also. I mean my husband, Brian and I kid all the time that I would make a great safety inspector becauase I can come up with every possible senerio for something going wrong. Example.. yesterday we were at Denny's(some people may be embarrased to admit they eat there, but personally I enjoy a good Denny's meal occasionally- my husband is embarrased though.. ) and two of the employees got into an argument and one went outside. I instandly thought it was for him to grab the gun out of his car and come back in. My husband thought he just wanted to cool off. He was right. THank God. But my mind will always go to the worse case senerio. That's probably why I don't FLY-- that and I'm also afraid of heights. BUt that's another tale. So the name really does work. My husband and I are completely different this is difficult sometimes. He is atleast in my mind a complete dare devel. I mean he doesn't fly out of airplanes. But he LOVES mountain climbing... (i'm afraid of it) he loves roller coasters.. (i'm afraid of those) he would cross a wooden rickety bridge 300 ft over a mountains.... (WTF-- why would anyone do that?) Get my point we are DIFFERENT. But I love him and I hope he loves me although it is difficult. My ideal vacation would be to a beach.. ( eventhough I do think about the sharks) but my husbands hates HOT weather and loathes sitting on the beach. I'm a jersey girl who didn't grow up with much money if we went on vaca it was to the jersey shore. LOVE IT!! Anyway, Maybe you understand why I choose " Manic Missy" for the title of my blog. Plus I like that song... Manic Monday by the Bangles. (Remember that group) OMG i'm OLD. Okay.. well today is Sunday so I have to go work one of my SIDE JOBS.. on sundays I work at at Deli for 8 hours. I HATE it but it gets me out of the house for a little while which is nice occasionally. Most days I just want to stay home and be with Emily. But oh well I gotta go atleast until I quit that stupid job. Okay.. Have a good day? Love to all. Missy

Saturday, May 19, 2007

All About me

Hi.. I've never really been one to keep a journal or write down my thoughts and ideas. When you're a mom & wife you sometimes forget you have your own ideas. I guess I should start with some history of myself. I never went to college and I regret this almost daily especially when I realize how smart my 6 yr old is and seriously begin to doubt whether I will be able to help her with her homework after about 4th grade. Kidding? but not really. You know? I was raised by a single mother, my father was never really in my life and I don't really remember him at all. They divorced when I was around 3 or 4. I have 2 siblings an older sister and a younger half-brother. My mom was great, but she had what alot of single moms have. Not enough time and not enough resources and just not enough. You know. She tried so hard... it just was what it was. I love (d) her though. She died in 2001 from ovarian cancer. I miss her very very much. In 2000 I became pregnant with my first child, we( my then boyfriend-now husband and myself) were very happy but it was a very difficult time for us... my mom was fighting her battle w. cancer and she and my much younger brother he was 14 at the time were living with us. I loved them being with us but it was also very stressful and difficult to see someone you love so much becoming so weak and losing her battle infront of you everyday. I also at the time worked at a stressful job at a call center. People never called to say anything nice they only called to complain about the invoices they got. The fees they were charged.... etc. I'm telling you this looonnnng detailed story to get to the point that my daughter was born very premature and weighed only 14 ounces at birth. I had high blood pressure from everything going on. She was born via emergency c section on Thanksgiving day 2000. We named her Emily Brianne-- Emily we choose early on and Brianne at the last minute becuase it meant STRONG ONE. We were told she probably would not LIVE! She spent 6 months in the hospital and had numerous health scares and surgeries and we thought we would lose her so many times but some how she pulled through and we finally took her home on May 17th 2001, 8 days after my mom died from the cancer. It was a very tough time in my life and as I write this the tears are easily flowing down my face. It's hard to think about. But I'm also so grateful for so many things. My mom got to meet Emily, hold her and talk to her. We were able to tell her that Emily would be coming home. I think she held on until she knew for sure. We told her the last day we saw her alive. Emily meant so much to her and helped us all so much .I don't think I would have made it without Emily---my mom meant so much to me. God gave me such a gift with her. She is just the best kid--- I know i'm her mom but she is one amazing human being. She is only in kindergarten and already reading probably 4th grade level. She started reading at 21/2 or 3 years old. She loves learning everything. She doesn't really have a lot of long lasting health issues from being born so early.. although she does get physical and occupational therapies to help her with some developmental delays. But she is improving everyday and we were just told that her OT will stop when she starts school next year, she will still get PT to help her. We are very proud of her and she really is just an amazing person. I love her so much. I'm sure if you care to you will learn much more about her in the upcoming entries that I type. I hope you will visit again and not mind my annoying, crazy run on sentences and incorrect grammar way of writing. Love to you out there... PEACE