All About me

Hi.. I've never really been one to keep a journal or write down my thoughts and ideas. When you're a mom & wife you sometimes forget you have your own ideas. I guess I should start with some history of myself. I never went to college and I regret this almost daily especially when I realize how smart my 6 yr old is and seriously begin to doubt whether I will be able to help her with her homework after about 4th grade. Kidding? but not really. You know? I was raised by a single mother, my father was never really in my life and I don't really remember him at all. They divorced when I was around 3 or 4. I have 2 siblings an older sister and a younger half-brother. My mom was great, but she had what alot of single moms have. Not enough time and not enough resources and just not enough. You know. She tried so hard... it just was what it was. I love (d) her though. She died in 2001 from ovarian cancer. I miss her very very much. In 2000 I became pregnant with my first child, we( my then boyfriend-now husband and myself) were very happy but it was a very difficult time for us... my mom was fighting her battle w. cancer and she and my much younger brother he was 14 at the time were living with us. I loved them being with us but it was also very stressful and difficult to see someone you love so much becoming so weak and losing her battle infront of you everyday. I also at the time worked at a stressful job at a call center. People never called to say anything nice they only called to complain about the invoices they got. The fees they were charged.... etc. I'm telling you this looonnnng detailed story to get to the point that my daughter was born very premature and weighed only 14 ounces at birth. I had high blood pressure from everything going on. She was born via emergency c section on Thanksgiving day 2000. We named her Emily Brianne-- Emily we choose early on and Brianne at the last minute becuase it meant STRONG ONE. We were told she probably would not LIVE! She spent 6 months in the hospital and had numerous health scares and surgeries and we thought we would lose her so many times but some how she pulled through and we finally took her home on May 17th 2001, 8 days after my mom died from the cancer. It was a very tough time in my life and as I write this the tears are easily flowing down my face. It's hard to think about. But I'm also so grateful for so many things. My mom got to meet Emily, hold her and talk to her. We were able to tell her that Emily would be coming home. I think she held on until she knew for sure. We told her the last day we saw her alive. Emily meant so much to her and helped us all so much .I don't think I would have made it without Emily---my mom meant so much to me. God gave me such a gift with her. She is just the best kid--- I know i'm her mom but she is one amazing human being. She is only in kindergarten and already reading probably 4th grade level. She started reading at 21/2 or 3 years old. She loves learning everything. She doesn't really have a lot of long lasting health issues from being born so early.. although she does get physical and occupational therapies to help her with some developmental delays. But she is improving everyday and we were just told that her OT will stop when she starts school next year, she will still get PT to help her. We are very proud of her and she really is just an amazing person. I love her so much. I'm sure if you care to you will learn much more about her in the upcoming entries that I type. I hope you will visit again and not mind my annoying, crazy run on sentences and incorrect grammar way of writing. Love to you out there... PEACE