When I first became pregnant, I was scared, stressed and so EXCITED too. It was at a most difficult time in my life. My mom, Margaret who was my rock my whole life had been diagnosed with Stage 4 Ovarian cancer, about a year or so before. My Mom and I were extremely close. So close that she and my baby brother (14) at the time lived with my husband and I. So I was devastated when it seemed like my Mom wasn't winning her battle with her cancer. We needed a miracle.. we had no idea it would come in the form of a new baby. I never had really thought much about having a baby. I LOVED children but Emily was a bit of a surprise!! I call her my gift from God!! I can't imagine my life today with out her. She is my LIFE, and I've never been happier. When Emily was born however it wasn't a typical happy birth. It was a scary devastating time. It was compounded because my Mom was so sick too. Emily was born very premature. She was what they call a micro-preemie. I had never seen a baby so small, in fact I had no idea there were babies that small. She weighed 14.7 ounces and was 10 inches long. I remember looking at her and thinking how can she survive? IT wasn't easy. It was a long 6 month journey of ups and the scariest downs you can imagine. Yes, we thought we would lose her many times. She had 4 major surgeries before she was 6 months old. The first one when she weighed still less than a pound and was only 7 days old. That was just one of many times they told us, "She probably will not make it". She had lung infections, UTI's, bowel surgeries, sepsis, countless blood transfusions, eye surgery, and so many xrays, blood sticks, work ups, etc. Her poor little feet still show the marks from all the blood sticks she needed. ALL of these things were done to her before she was 6 months old and all in the attempt to save her life. It was painful to know that she was in pain. TO know that there was little that my husband and I could do for her. But we were there, everyday in every way we could be. I was so torn.... between being with my Mom and being with my daughter. My Mom let me know that I was to be with my daughter and that was it. Her taking that decision out of my hands was an example of her love for me. But it was still a torture for me. The two most important females in my life.... both fighting for their lives. And me feeling helpless to do anything about it. I did what I could and now when I look back, I don't know how we got through it. Emily finally started to improve but unfortunately my Mom had fought as hard and long as she could. I lost my Mom and the world lost a great woman on May 9, 2001 and Emily came home on May 17, 2001. It was a very bittersweet time and I got through it because of Emily. I know she is a gift from God. My Mom knew it too and that brings me such comfort. Today, Emily is doing so great! She is a happy/healthy 11 year old. She is in the advanced placement class at school. We are so proud of the fact that she has gotten straight A's final year grades since she started going to school. She is now in 5th grade! She is so full of life! She sings and dances through it! Now why am I sharing all of this with you. Well for one thing... We felt so helpless when Emily was born that our family decided to do something to help others. We decided to start walking in the March of Dimes Walk America/ March for Babies. Our first walk was in 2003. This year we will be walking in our 10th walk. We have raised thousands of dollars for the March of Dimes... I'm proud of that, and I know my Mom would be too. So please I am asking you if you can to please make a donation to our Team Emily. The link is on my wall page or just click below:
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
Well we are getting close to our March of Dimes walk, it's on April 29th this year & it's EXTRA SPECIAL cause it's our 10th Anniversary walk! We've walked in every walk for the last ten years! YAY! We've raised as a team $950.00,so far this year, our original team goal was $1000.00 so we are really close to that.. and we beat our total last year already... i think it's saying something considering the economy is still so fragile.. we have some great friends & family... our family is lucky! We still have over a week to try and get even more donations!! I have a good feeling.. we are going to blow up our GOAL! :) WOO HOO!! Ofcourse I'll include a link so that if you want to help us, you can!! thank you everyone who donated or plans to..YOU ARE AWESOME!
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Emily is so excited for Easter tomorrow.. I'm glad at 11 she STILL is EXCITED over all the little things that Easter brings.. I'm sure some day she'll out grow them.. that'll be hard on me, but I know that day will come at some time. She's growing so much and I'm having a hard time with that at times. I look at her & know it but it's hard to know it.. you know?? She's 11, and all that, that comes with it. BUT today like I said I'm happy she's still so excited of the idea of getting her Easter basket & doing her little Easter egg hunt to find it.. it's a tradition. I asked her, " Are you too old for it?" Privately hoping what the answer would be.. Luckily for me, she said, "NO WAY Mom.. I still want to" I'll probably put a little more coins in the eggs instead of the little cheap plastic toys I could get away with when she was younger, but I don't care about that. It brings me joy to know she's still happy to partake in these fun little Easter traditions.. and even when i know in my heart it's happening, she's growing up.. I realize that while it's happening.. it hasn't HAPPENED! :) She'll always be my baby.. no matter her age & that is just that. I know it, and I make sure she knows it too. I love her always & forever-- and know that I'll love & appreciate every age she is, but ends of things are always bittersweet. :)Well, anyway, we have a fun day planned tomorrow, we are going over my cousin Ursula's house, who is making A GREAT BIG dinner for lots of family & friends... so happy to be included in & surrounded by her & our families. The only thing that could make it any better is if Brian was home.. he's been a way on business-- I'm missing him so much, as is Emily ofcourse.. this is the first Easter we won't be all together. :( My heart is sad over that... but am really looking forward to when he'll be home.. i guess absence really does make the heart grow. I of course never doubted my love for him but it sure is a reminder when you miss someone so much! Happy Easter to you all!! May your day be filled with love & blessed beyond belief. xoxo