She must be one of the Wonders...

 Feeling very emotional today. I'm sure it has a lot to do with Emily's upcoming college move in date fast approaching. I'm full of mixed emotions, not just because it would be a big deal no matter what, but because it's happening during a pandemic & all the other worries as well. Just of how fast the time has gone too. Emily's childhood is over & she's entering another chapter of her life, it's making me think of it all. How it started always comes to mind, how couldn't it? It was such a dramatic time in all of our lives. It got me thinking about the song "Wonder" by Natalie Merchant. This song means so much to our little family of 3. It's very special to us. When Emily was born so tiny & frail & all during the six months that followed afterward at Children's Hospital. The song just gave us hope for Emily. We thought my God, she's a wonder, she's our wonder. Emily was a micro preemie weighing only 14 ounces. Right after she was born she actually lost a little weight & got down to like 13 ounces. She had so many ups & downs in the hospital, but today for some reason or another I'm thinking about one time in particular when she got a really bad infection, so bad that these doctors from the CDC had to come to the hospital to see Emily & give I guess their opinions on what should be done for her to fight the infection. She was so tiny, her immune system didn't work very well and even as careful as we all tried to be, it was impossible to keep all the germs away in a hospital so she developed a really bad infection. It was the scariest time of all the scary times. But we felt some comfort knowing these CDC doctors were there to try & help. We referred to them back then as the, "Men in Black" because they didn't look like doctors, they almost looked like the characters from the Men in Black movie. All in suits. Anyway the first line of Natalie Merchant's song Wonder is, "Doctors have come from distant cities just to see me..." ... ever since then when ever I hear that song, it makes me immediately tear up & think of that time so long ago. I watch a lot of news as well & if you follow me on any social media, you know I'm not a fan of Trump. There's been a lot of news about Trump not accepting the CDC's recommendations & now apparently he wants the Covid19 data coming to the White House instead of going through the CDC so that might be another reason to be thinking too much of that time long ago. It makes me wonder if some parents (Trump supporters) today, would feel the same comfort in the CDC being there as we did back then. We thought well the experts are here, if someone is going to help her, it'll be them... but Trump is treating them like the enemies instead of the "experts". Which is just really sad & scary. But... anyway... when I step back & think about further down the line of Emily's childhood, I mostly think of all the happy moments, proud moments... once she left the hospital she never went back. Sure she had her fair of childhood colds & such but she handled all of them well. More importantly she is a bright & happy person. She makes me incredibly proud. She's still tiny though, at 19 she is only 4' 8" & I can't help and still worry about her, especially when I'm trying hard to let her go & to spread her wings at college. Like she's always dreamed of doing. BUT... I'm a mom... & the worrying doesn't end.