Sunday, November 27, 2011

Well hello there..

I forgot my mom's birthday.. it was November 19th. I completely forgot it, I was soo busy getting ready for Thanksgiving, Emily's birthday & my mother in law's visit that it totally slipped my mind. I always remember it, I usually write up something on my facebook page about how much I miss her and how i can't believe that it's been such such amount of time since she's been gone. The truth is I do miss her so much, just that day I was sooo busy & stressing that I didn't realize that it was her day! I felt bad about it when I remembered it, but I still had things to do so I couldn't really beat myself up to hard about it. But my heart hurt alittle from forgetting it. Did that mean I was a "bad" daughter? Cause I would have said something like... " Today is my mom's birthday.. she would have been 62 today! God I miss her, I hope she knows how much I love her and that she is watching in amazement at Emily & feeling as proud as I am. Mom.. I love you! Happy Birthday! :)" I should have wrote something like that, so when I remembered that I forgot i felt bad, like my mom would be upset. I know it's silly, but I still want her to know how much i loved her & still love her! SO i was really feeling quite bad about it. Anyway.. the day after I "forgot" her, I was cleaning out the oven. We had self-cleaned it but I had to take a sponge and wipe it all down and wipe the racks inside.. well when I was done.. i went about doing something else.. after a little while, I just happened to glance at my arm and I saw this image made somehow out of the drippings of the dirt off the sponge! To me it was immediately clear that it was an angel & I knew it was some how my mom. The other funny thing is that over the course of the last month I had referred to trying to see Jesus in things.. i even made reference on facebook to "an odd shape in my potato chip, but that try as I might, I didn't see Jesus or the Virgin Mary so I figured it was ok to" So it was kind of a joke & it was exactly the kind of thing I could see my mom doing, to reference some silly thing I said...the thing is though it totally made me feel better and isn't that what mothers do? Comfort their children & make them feel better, even when they've been gone for 11 years, somehow she still managed to say, "it's Okay" So thanks mom! I love you, keep figuring out ways to let me know once in a while that you're still around!

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