Let's be real...Marriage is HARD! (a day after Valentine's day post)

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in."
Leonard Cohen

Marriage is hard, there are no two ways around it.  It's a constant compromise, & sometimes quite disappointing.  Even when you love one another. Because while you love each other, sometimes what your need of your spouse is different than what your spouse can give.  It's hard to give, when you feel stressed over all that life throws you & you feel like you have nothing left to give to someone else.  Life is so full of must do, must be, must everything for all of us... that between all the things you or your spouse have going on, the thing that often times gets left out is what you need more than anything which is showing in smalls way that you still love one another.  It's true, a happy marriage requires work, but when one or both don't feel good either from an illness or some other stresses in life.  When life feels so exhausting already, having to "work" at your marriage might just be something you don't seem to think you can do.   I used to think that people only got divorced because they didn't love one another or because they wanted someone else.  But I don't think that anymore... I think sometimes it just becomes all too much & while I believe in "through sickness & in health" & "'til death do us part"  I  can understand why some marriages end.  It's hard... & exhausting to continually not only work out your own issues but remember how those affect your partner's life as well.  When you're young you think of things in very straightforward terms... if you love one another you get married & you live happily ever after.  But I don't believe that anymore... I know it's hard & I imagine it's too hard for some. However for me, I believe in the marriage vows we took & I want nothing more than to stay married forever.  But like everything in life I can understand how just wanting something is not always enough. But for me, it's more than "wanting" it's knowing, and what I know is this.... I love my husband & I know that he loves me too,So all the work all the moments of my marriage when it's hard, & seems almost too hard.  I'll remind myself of Dory in "Finding Nemo" and I'll "Just keep swimming... " cause for all it's heartache, the truth is there is a reason you married your spouse, & a reason you committed yourself to stay together in "sickness and in health" & it's still there buried at times, but there at the core of my marriage & probably yours to.. the love that you feel for one another & that they are still the one person who has your back above anyone else in your life.  That to me is marriage, & that has never changed from the day we said our "I do's" & hopefully never will & so that's why I keep swimming even when the water is cold & murky, cause it's my marriage & I have faith that another tide will come along & take us to some crystal blue water where we can float for a while & all the work & time will have been worth it. 

March of Dimes is just around the corner.. Ok, not really it's not til' April.. But trust me it will go fast!! :) We are walking in our 11th walk! SO please donate if you can! Thank you sooo much!

Twitter vs. Facebook.. TWITTER!

I really like twitter.....While I've only been tweeting for probably about 2 years. I like it so much better than facebook, the reason I like twitter much better has probably a lot to do with the fact I went on facebook first & because it was initially fun discovering people from my past, I went a lil' friend crazy... I friended & accepted friend request from all these people whom I had at one time known.  The problem with that is back in high school for example no one delved too deep into what ones political or social views were, if back then, anyone of us even knew what those believes were... & so now I kind of feel a little stuck.  I know that sounds kinda rude & I hope everyone understands that I have some really great friends on facebook & some friends I've gotten to re-know & realize that I'm so happy to have them again in my life...in whatever capacity they are in it.  BUT some people I probably should not be friends with, even facebook friends with.  Our views are too different & while they are entitled to have them, it's hard for me to see their asinine opinion & not feel the same rage I feel when say watching Ann Coulter (I hope this mention of her does not have adsense putting Ann's ads on my blog...OMG! That would be awful) Anyway.. sorry got off track there... But it's true I don't like seeing their crap on my facebook feed, but then I feel bad because I should just be able to deal w their stupidity & I try... I try really really hard to just not look at their stupid ad in support of guns & not want to immediately comment or unfriend them.  Which I know is my right but it's also their right to have an opinion different then mine.. recently I un-friended someone who caught me & I didn't have the balls (for a lack of a better word) to tell them the truth so I just ended up playing dumb, feeling a little guilty & friending them again.  I'm not a tough cookie.. I wish I was more like the stereo-typical image of what a tough jersey girl from TV or the movies... BUT we are not all like that.. I wish I could say in some tough NJ accent, "Hey... We're not friends, you moron & I don't want to see your stupid bullshit on my facebook, Kabish?" OK, That was pathetic.. I remind myself of Meg Ryan's character in You've got mail.  I'm not even good at writing tough... lol! :) I was raised right I guess, & I try really hard not to be rude to people, & follow the old saying treat others the way you'd like to be treated and in general I am pretty good at it, but sometimes I wish I just didn't give a shit & could tell them how I really feel. The truth is I know everyone is entitled to their opinions, I just guess I wish everyone was brilliant like me ;) (jk) &  I didn't have to see them & more importantly maybe I didn't' allow them and their asinine opinion to upset me.  Who's that hurting, me!!   The point is I learned a lot from facebook about what not to do, so by the time I got to twitter I was a lot pickier on who it is I choose to follow. There's NO guilt about it either.. If I don't like what you say or I don't want to see it I simply block that person,   It's wonderful & much much much less stressful.  Plus I can focus my follows on the people or products I either like or want to learn more of.. it's more easier to find people/sites whom have similar opinions to mine. Also there are a lot fewer of my facebook friends on it & the ones that are on it, I know them from facebook & know what they are like.  Those are the ones I follow & am much happier about.  As for facebook, I guess I need to just learn to look the other way.. or learn that I'm allowed to not want to friend you & I shouldn't feel guilty about it.