Thursday, August 25, 2011

While my sleeping child sleeps..

Decided since Emily was still sleeping I would write a little this morning... Em came in my room at 7am & I told her to try and sleep a little more,lol boy is she.. haha.. it's now 10:20 and she's still asleep. :) It's summer vacation, so why not! Anyway, yesterday was my aunts birthday.. i think she is 56. I think she is 16 years older than me. We have become such good friends..not just neice & aunt but friends.. it's really wonderful! Thank god, cause other than Danielle, I don't have many other REAL friends. I have my friends on facebook, but I'm not really sure those I would consider real friendships. I'll explain more about that later. But back to my aunt. My aunt & my cousin Tiffany (her daughter),Emily & I all went to Olive Garden last night for dinner! YUM! We had a nice time! I'm so thankful for my aunt.. especially since I don't have my mom around, it is really nice to have her. We talk about my mom alot and it makes me feel close to her as well. I wish my sister could have the same with my aunt, but it's harder for her but i think she probably needs it too. Although my sister was never as close to my aunt as I was. I try and speak to my aunt ATLEAST once a week, just so i don't lose that closeness with her! Anyway.. let's see what else.. My 40th BIRTHDAY is coming. It's the end of this month.. I'm kinda depressed about it. It sounds soo old to me. I don't feel that old AT ALL!!! But man the years have just flown by. I know I should have a better attitude about the whole thing... but if I'm being honest here, I really don't! I mean trust me I'm grateful for another birthday.. it means I lived another year but COME ON... slow down life. PLEASE! It's really flying by. I try really hard to remember my mom's words, she would always say that... BE HAPPY on your birthday, it means you lived to see another year!! Isn't that the truth and I know more than some how true those words are... considering my mom lived to only be 51 and would have done anything to live to be older. SO I'm trying mom to be happy about turning 40, for myself & for you!! :) I really miss her, i wish she was here to help me celebrate! i know I've said this before but her and I were just getting to the point of being "TRUE" friends.. not just mom & daughter but friends! So it makes me really sad when i think we hadn't yet become it when she passed away.... we should have had more time. It makes me angry & sad. I find myself sometimes talking to her.. (don't think I'm crazy and it's not like she answers me back..haha) but for instance the other day on the country music channel, they had a special on Kenny Rogers (my mom's favorite) so I watched it for her and at one point said.. "mom, i hope u see me, cause I've got this on for you" Just kind of putting it out there for the heavens to hear. :) that's okay, I think. ;) We are suppose to be getting a hurricane on Sunday. Hurricane Irene... it's suppose to be a strong cat 2/3 storm.. one of the worse we've had in years. Our backyard is a swamp usually after just a regular storm.. and now they are talking about 6 to 10 inches of rain & strong wind. I hope we don't get any damage from it! That would really suck! The people down the shore have the most to worry about... my friend Tracy is down there so I'm really concerned for her. I pray her family will be ok. Anyway..I guess that's it. Back to my facebook thing from earlier on in this post... I've become a little jaded with facebook & to tell you the truth haven't been enjoying it as much. This guy who was the brother of a very good friend of mine from my school days friended me on it... and I was soooo excited to hve a connection to Denise that I emailed him to make sure that was who he was... and it was Denise's brother.... so i asked him if he would check with Denise and see if she wanted to connect with me. ANyway after a few correspondence back and forth.. he un-friended me and I have no other way to take it but that maybe he spoke with Denise and she had no interest in talking to me. I guess my feelings are hurt. I mean whatever happened back then it's been 20+ years and I was willing to put the past behind us and remember the good times which were many and just try and speak after all these years.. but I guess she didn't care. So my feelings are hurt. I don't know the real truth to wht happened & it's not like I've been crying over it, it just hurt my feelings alittle. Between that & a few other things I'm just kinda over facebook (atleast at the moment) haha. Alright Emily just woke up and I gotta go make her breakfast! Or brunch at this point. Thanks for reading.. PEACE!

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