Tuesday, March 22, 2011

the "too deep" of a thinker Emily...

Last night as I was tucking in Emily... she said out of the blue.. "Mom---what if you died?" Well I was a little took back.. i mean I didn't know what to say, how was I suppose to answer that.... finally.. i said "well that probably won't happen for a loooong time". Emily is a little "obsessed" with the idea of death.. I kinda understand why? I mean Emily grew up around death.. My mom died when Emily was 6 months old. I don't think we realized what an impact that would have on her... We talked about it, were sad about it..obviously, that loss was very hard for me, obviously.. and she lived with us.. so it was talked not ALOT but more than normal probably.. how could it not be, so I get it.. i understand why she asked it but it's hard and I don't want it to be something she thinks about all the time, so I also said, "Emily.. none of us know when we are going to die but MOST people live to be very OLD and so it's not something we should THINK about too much, known of us have Expiration dates, meaning we don't know how long we'll live BUT probably for a long time... ok?" She said okay... & I kissed her goodnight. As a mom, I hope i answered it okay... & luckily when she's ask these types of questions in the past, we atleast have an example of a person who lived a good loooong life too.. her Great Grandma who just passed away in 2009 was 96 years old!!! So I've also said in the past... look at Great... she lived a good LONG life. I've also said.. that i would always love her, and that there would always be people to take care of her, and love her. Cause like I said, we have this talk more than most kids & parents do, but never quite this direct.. it's a tough subject. When I think about it... when I was a kid, i thought about it too, more than I think most kids probably.. i don't know why i did.. perhaps it's just cause I was a worrier, just like Emily... and what's the biggest thing to worry about ... DEATH! BUT, I don't want her to worry about it. Hell I don't want myself to worry about it... so I want very much so to ease her worrying. Anyway.. I hope my answer was okay, and provided her a little comfort. What should one say.. how does one answer that? I'm not sure there is a perfect answer.. so i just hope i did ok.

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