While my sleeping child sleeps..

Decided since Emily was still sleeping I would write a little this morning... Em came in my room at 7am & I told her to try and sleep a little more,lol boy is she.. haha.. it's now 10:20 and she's still asleep. :) It's summer vacation, so why not! Anyway, yesterday was my aunts birthday.. i think she is 56. I think she is 16 years older than me. We have become such good friends..not just neice & aunt but friends.. it's really wonderful! Thank god, cause other than Danielle, I don't have many other REAL friends. I have my friends on facebook, but I'm not really sure those I would consider real friendships. I'll explain more about that later. But back to my aunt. My aunt & my cousin Tiffany (her daughter),Emily & I all went to Olive Garden last night for dinner! YUM! We had a nice time! I'm so thankful for my aunt.. especially since I don't have my mom around, it is really nice to have her. We talk about my mom alot and it makes me feel close to her as well. I wish my sister could have the same with my aunt, but it's harder for her but i think she probably needs it too. Although my sister was never as close to my aunt as I was. I try and speak to my aunt ATLEAST once a week, just so i don't lose that closeness with her! Anyway.. let's see what else.. My 40th BIRTHDAY is coming. It's the end of this month.. I'm kinda depressed about it. It sounds soo old to me. I don't feel that old AT ALL!!! But man the years have just flown by. I know I should have a better attitude about the whole thing... but if I'm being honest here, I really don't! I mean trust me I'm grateful for another birthday.. it means I lived another year but COME ON... slow down life. PLEASE! It's really flying by. I try really hard to remember my mom's words, she would always say that... BE HAPPY on your birthday, it means you lived to see another year!! Isn't that the truth and I know more than some how true those words are... considering my mom lived to only be 51 and would have done anything to live to be older. SO I'm trying mom to be happy about turning 40, for myself & for you!! :) I really miss her, i wish she was here to help me celebrate! i know I've said this before but her and I were just getting to the point of being "TRUE" friends.. not just mom & daughter but friends! So it makes me really sad when i think we hadn't yet become it when she passed away.... we should have had more time. It makes me angry & sad. I find myself sometimes talking to her.. (don't think I'm crazy and it's not like she answers me back..haha) but for instance the other day on the country music channel, they had a special on Kenny Rogers (my mom's favorite) so I watched it for her and at one point said.. "mom, i hope u see me, cause I've got this on for you" Just kind of putting it out there for the heavens to hear. :) that's okay, I think. ;) We are suppose to be getting a hurricane on Sunday. Hurricane Irene... it's suppose to be a strong cat 2/3 storm.. one of the worse we've had in years. Our backyard is a swamp usually after just a regular storm.. and now they are talking about 6 to 10 inches of rain & strong wind. I hope we don't get any damage from it! That would really suck! The people down the shore have the most to worry about... my friend Tracy is down there so I'm really concerned for her. I pray her family will be ok. Anyway..I guess that's it. Back to my facebook thing from earlier on in this post... I've become a little jaded with facebook & to tell you the truth haven't been enjoying it as much. This guy who was the brother of a very good friend of mine from my school days friended me on it... and I was soooo excited to hve a connection to Denise that I emailed him to make sure that was who he was... and it was Denise's brother.... so i asked him if he would check with Denise and see if she wanted to connect with me. ANyway after a few correspondence back and forth.. he un-friended me and I have no other way to take it but that maybe he spoke with Denise and she had no interest in talking to me. I guess my feelings are hurt. I mean whatever happened back then it's been 20+ years and I was willing to put the past behind us and remember the good times which were many and just try and speak after all these years.. but I guess she didn't care. So my feelings are hurt. I don't know the real truth to wht happened & it's not like I've been crying over it, it just hurt my feelings alittle. Between that & a few other things I'm just kinda over facebook (atleast at the moment) haha. Alright Emily just woke up and I gotta go make her breakfast! Or brunch at this point. Thanks for reading.. PEACE!

Just call me Oscar yesterday!

I like to imagine that I'm the perfect mom, but I know that isn't true. I was in a Grouchy mood yesterday. We all have those days, days when the simpliest infraction has you yelling more than you should. That was me yesterday with Emily.. and ofcourse I feel bad about it. I am not normally a yeller, so when I yell I often feel guilty about it. I was getting upset with Em over the silly things yesterday. She did do something dangerous (un-buckled her seat belt and stood up while Danielle was driving yesterday and I felt like i HAD to yell at her for that one!) Anyway, I explained to her last night that I was sorry I was grouchy today... & she said it was no big deal. But she's such a sweet girl and I truly hate when i have one of those days. I know i'm human, so while I want to be a "stepford" mom everyday and do everything perfect in reality I'm not and will have these days. I hope today is a good one, and that I'm more patient with her today. I'm sure I will be, cause I'm gonna make sure I am!!!! I love her so much! :)

More things....

I realized that i forgot to mention a few things in my last post.. for one thing, My brother got his drivers license. I'm really proud of him! I know he's relieved to have it. It only took 2 attempts for him to get it. I think he could have passed the first time but he let his nerves get to him. Anyway, I'm happy he has it, not only for driving but because he needed to have some type of ID. He is now trying to save up some money to either fix the car he has or buy another one. :) Anyway.. we've been home from New Mexico for nearly two weeks already... the summer sure seems to be flying by. Last week we went to the Jersey shore with Danielle.. Our first time this summer!!! We always go to Ocean City.. & even though there are many options for beaches--- we like that one & Danielle usually gets a season pass. I think mostly we like knowing where to park & where the bathrooms are located.. haha.. those things matter when you have kids in tow. We had a great day!!!! The weather was perfect, the waves were FIERCE!! At least for the Jersey shore! :) Also I'd been feeling bad because I hadn't seen my aunt since I got back from vacation.. we try'd a few times but our plans always feel thru, but luckily that all changed this weekend when Emily & I went to the lake with her. I really wanted Brian to go with us but not only did he have to work but he ABSOLUTELY hates HOT weather! So he politely declined going.... BUT Emily, Aunt Barbara & I had a great time! PLUS BIG NEWS....... EMILY FINALLY LEARNED TO FLOAT!!! We had been really trying to get her to do it while we were on vacation but she wasn't quite ready well that all changed this weekend.. she did it!!! After she figured out how to, there was no stopping her... she just was floating, floating, floating!!! It was really awesome! She was so proud of herself. Emily has this way about her, she gets soo excited when she finally conquers something. You can't help but FEEL her joy! It's one of many of my favorite things about her! It might take her longer to conquer something but when she's ready she's ready & when she accomplishes it... she's so proud! (Ofcourse I was really proud of her too!) I wish Brian had been there to see it... Emily really wants him to come the next time and see her float so I'm hoping there is a cool clear day in the future & he'll have no excuse. I know he wants to spend time with her & I'm not really trying to make him feel bad, because I know he's been working so hard for our family... it just would have been great if he could have seen it. Luckily I took pictures.. so he kinda did! Anyway..after the lake, Brian & Fernando met up with us at my aunts house and we had dinner! We even were able to eat some of my tomatoes & cucumbers from my garden!! They were good.... my garden is doing well.. it survived me being away.. THank you Fernando! But hasn't supplied me with quite the harvest I had hoped for..BUT it's been extremely HOT! I learned soo much this year though (my rookie garden year) that next year my garden is going to really ROCK! I know just what to do to make it even better!!!! ALSO... i can't believe Emily's school year starts in a little over a month.. her last year of Elementary school... where is the years going..... She's growing so fast! But so beautiful too. I have alot of hopes for her this year, I hope she makes some really good friends.. (the kind that will have her back in Middle School & High School) I know how important it is for her to make those friends NOW!!! I also know that it's a little more difficult for Emily to make friends than most kids her age. But she'll get them. She's a great kid!! & anyone would be lucky to be her BEST friend(other than Madeline of course, who is a great best friend to her) but she needs to find one at her school, she just needs to find the right person.. & Emily will!! Just like always in her own time! :)

Lots to share...

Hi... well.. reading over my post (or shall I say lack of post) I realize that I have been majorly slacking off. I guess I've had a busy summer, so while Emily is sleeping in... i figured I would take a few minutes and write a little down. Our family went on vacation to West Virginia the first week in July for a family reunion. We had a great time. We stayed at a place called Oglebay, it was an up-scale campground. The kind of campground that had everything.. including a museum, a zoo, many shops, a lodge. We stayed in one of their cottages (infact our family rented 3 cottages.... the Roach boys (My husband & his 2 brother's & their families) stayed in one. Pat & Aunt Barbara & Nic stayed in another smaller one. & Our cousin Niki and her family stayed in the last one. It was really nice. We had great weather and did many things... like.. swimming in 3 different pools they had there, going to the museums, their nature center, hiking, the zoo, and just hanging out. Infact they had so much to do there, that even after a week of being there, we still didn't manage to fit it all in. But we did do most of it and everyone seemed to have a great time! I know we did! After that... Emily & I started our own adventure.. Brian couldn't get the time off, so Emily & I made the treck all the way back to New Mexico with Pat! We finally got the opportunity to see where Grandma lives and Emily LOVED it! I actually ENJOYED the roadtrip. Pat was really great at only driving during the day, ( I get a little nervous at night--the big rigs lights freak me out) so we would drive for about 9 or 10 hours during the day and stop at a hotel for the night and start early the next day. This way Emily was able to swim a little each night in the hotel swimming pools. (She has become a fish this summer! I'm quite proud of her!!) Anyway.. we got to New Mexico in 3 days.. which wasn't bad considering we stopped in Missouri & visited a drive thru Cavern! You know the kind with stalagmites and stalagtites.. it was really cool & the only drive thru one! Pat had discovered it & we decided to take the time out and do it. It was a nice break! I enjoyed the pace of this roadtrip more than any other.. Even with the time taken up by the drive there we were still able to spend a week in New Mexico! We had a great time, I really enjoyed the fresh air & look of New Mexico! Although there is sooo much brown! The houses especially where Pat lives are all in the New Mexico style adobe coloring...... so its different shades of browns. But being a bit of a earth tone girl.. i quite liked them! We did many things in New Mexico.. like Museums, a trip to Albuquerque which included another museum, zoo and aquariam! A few of a our day outdoor trips that Pat had wanted us to see had to be cancelled because of the horrible mountain fires they were having, many of the national parks and recreational activities were cancelled.. it was the only vacation i was ever on that RAIN would have been ok. I hated seeing the mountains on fire in the distance.. it was hard to see and hear about, I'm sure worse if you were actually a resident. Pat is quite good at being a "travel" tour guide and took us to see many things.. like petroglyphs and a place where she volunteers and we did a "Josephina" tour. Josephina is based on one of the American girl dolls and we got to see an actual settlement like the ones that are talked about in the books & stories of the time when Josephina would have lived. It was cool.. Emily likes things like that, but when she's had enough, she's had enough.. it's hard to keep her attention for tooo long but she still had a wonderful time! She would have been fine chilling at Grandma's house for the whole trip. She kinda fell in love with a few of Grandma's stuffed animals and was happy making up stories and putting on plays with them at Grandma's house. Pat's house was neat, she collects different Native American & other artwork from New Mexico & her travels and so every where you look in her house there is something neat to see! We had a few chill days at her house just to give Emily the break she needed, it was funny.. we would go to bed sooo early like 9 or 9:30 and wake up like 6:30 or 7:30 am... it really was a laid back kinda trip and it was nice that way. I even read an ENTIRE book... called "the Help" which was really good.. Brian had gotten me a Kindle before we left and that was great for us to have. We went out to eat a few times in New Mexico and each time I was daring and decided to order it like it came to get the "Official" New Mexican cuisine which of course included getting Green & red chile on everything.. i gotta say I LOVED it!!!!! We ate at this place called Harry's Roadhouse which is really POPULAR with the locals. IT was sooo YUMMY!! I got a burrito with green & red chile's! It was my favorite meal of the trip! I just thought YUM the entire time i was eating it.. we also had a great dinner at a place called Maria's where I got fahitas.. they were good too but not like that burrito from Harry's. lol. The last day Monday.. we found out our train home was delayed so Pat suggested we go to "Lotaburger" and get a Green Chile Cheeseburger which is the "OFFICIAL" food of New Mexico.. so we did.. and I quite liked it, but that was the HOTTEST of the green chile's I had eaten and I needed ALOT of ice tea with it!! LoL!! All in all we had a great trip!! I am soo thankful for Pat for putting up with us, I'm sure all she wanted to do after a week of vacationing in WV was relax and she was such a wonderful and gracious host to us!! Thank u PAT!! It meant so much to us that we were there! :) SO after we finally got on the train (it was 3 hours late picking us up in New Mexico) we actually had a good time on the train, atleast for the first leg which was Lamy NM to Chicago IL! They had a few volunteer Forest Rangers on the train who were in the sight seeing lounge car and would give you information on what you were seeing out the train! Also they had a Junior Ranger program, Emily had to finish an activity book and make a pledge and she became a JUNIOR RANGER!!!! She acted like she was receiving the Academy Award when they made the announcement that there was a New JR. Ranger Emily Roach age 10 from Blackwood NJ!! SHe was waving her hand, holding up her plastic badge & grinning from ear to ear!! It was great to see!! Anyway.. like I said we got on that train late but I wasn't too concerned because we had a looooooong layover in Chicago for the second leg on the trip from what was originally suppose to be the last leg of the trip but that was cancelled & IF I had not called the day before we left to check the reservation would have not even known.. SOOOO we ended up having to change it from Chicago to Philadelphia TO Chicago to NYC then NYC to PHiladelphia!! NOT FUN!! Anyway..the 2nd leg was no where as nice as the first leg... this could have had something to do with SLeep depreviation BUT it also was because the staff was unfriendly and we didn't get ANY information (like where we were??? Or lunch or dinner reservations???) it was like night and day difference from the last train to this train. Really made me understand how the East Coast gets the rep they get.. i was hating "us" after this trip! NOT helpful... and towards the end of the 2nd leg.. i was realizing that we would not make the 8:00 depart for the last leg.. so I kinda freaked on the conductor and explained *loudly how absolutely less impressed i was with this train compared to the last one.. & he didn't EVEN try to HELP me!!!! What an ass, he gave me the # to the amtrak to rebook my NYC to PHL portion of the trip! Gee Thanks! Needless to say, I was NOT happY!!!!! But luckily I found out there was a slim chance we would make that train because it was coming in 20 minutes late..... SO if we boogied we might JUST make it! and......... WE DID!!! The conductor was CLOSING the door & I was like "WAIT---WAIT is this the train to PHILADELPHIA!!!!" After being on trains or in train stations for the last 48 hours I was really relieved and happy that we were on that TRAIN!! The cafe cart was EVEN open so Emily and I were actaully able to get dinner since the last trains cafe cart closed well before I knew we were going to be that late and we didn't have the 1 1/2 hours we were suppose to have for a lay over in NYC to eat! We were STARVING!! We split a pizza & were on our way HOME!!! We ended up getting into Philadelphia about 10pm or so and finally seeing Brian!!! We were happy to be HOME!!! But also we really did all in all have a great time.. minus ofcourse the train issues! Emily is already saying she wants to go back to New Mexico!! :)