What not to forget to say to a preemie parent..

Was thinking about something just now and decided to write a quick little post on it.  The walk for March of Dimes is coming up, it always gets me thinking, remembering our 6 month journey in the hospital with Emily when she was a baby.  When you have a premature baby.. no one says congratulations to you.  Like "Congratulations--she's beautiful"  Instead they say things like, "So what are the doctors saying?" "Oh my god, she's so tiny?" "how is she doing?" with pity in their eyes. I get it, i understand that but I remember one nurse we had, her name was Colleen, it was early on but she wasn't one of our regular nurses, anyway she had Emily for the first time and Emily was still really sick at the time, still tiny as ever, I remember the first thing she said to me after saying, "I'm Colleen-- I'll be taking care of Emily today" she said, "Congratulations on your baby--she's beautiful" her saying it to me was eye opening,,, I was like "WOW, THANK YOU!!!!" I didn't realize how much I needed to hear it!!! She was my baby girl & she was beautiful & I was happy she was here. We were HAPPY along with all the other feelings and stresses we were having since Emily's birth. Anyway,  It meant a lot to me and  I'm sharing this so if someone you know has a preemie or a micro-preemie, you might remember to say it---- it might be just want they need to hear, it was for me anyway.  :)

I agree a lot with this man :)

RIP Trayvor

I've been avoiding the news lately for my own good.. don't know much about anything newsworthy to be honest. SO I haven't really wanted to speak out on the case in Florida of Trayvor Martin, however I don't want my silence to come off the wrong way-for me I try not to make an opinion on things I'm not completely informed on BUT I thought I would share with you what I'm feeling about the case from what it is I do know of it. What I know about the Trayvor Martin case is that it is a tragedy & seems like something that should definitely be investigated fully to find out how this ever happened,...personally, i don't think anyone should carry a gun! I'm not a fan of firearms, simply for the fact it's too easy for something to go wrong... I don't agree with vigilantism either. I also know, I don't really know the person accused of it either, or if the awful thing he did eats at him night and day. I try not to judge anyone, however EVEN if he is remorseful, he still should be punished for his actions but nothing will bring back the life of a 17 yo boy who anyway you look at it shouldn't have died. It's so sad....why would that man ever believe that was the thing to do... shoot an un-armed boy, why why why.. & he was only 17! Just a kid starting out his life.. makes me so sad! We as a society sometimes want to jump to conclusions on things that anger us sooo much, & i hope that this doesn't seem like a call for more violence from others wanting revenge for Trayvor's death, because that will do no one any good. Honestly the part I don't know is if race had anything to do with it, perhaps it did, but since no one can get inside George Zimmerman's head to find out, unless evidence comes out showing us definitely he was, no one may ever know so I'm not commenting too much on that aspect since I don't know nor think anyone will ever really know. I hope that some good comes out of it, and perhaps the next person who decides to take the law into their own hands, although for the life of me I can't imagine what Trayvor even did that George Zimmerman thought was "suspicious" what?? Walking.. but that's another thing.. I wasn't there.. I don't know the situation but I've heard that is what he told the dispatcher..he seems suspicious.. WHY??? hmmmm.. does make one wonder, But anyway my point was I hope that the next person in a similar situation decides to JUST make a call to the police & STAYS in his home. The thing that I keep thinking is that George Zimmerman SHOULD NEVER have been outside with a gun if for no other reason than we as humans in the heat of the moment, filled with adrenalin, perhaps fear, probably wouldn't make the right choice and in this case it caused a boy his life.. and the person who did it should be punished for that- no matter if he wishes so much he could take it back, he can't...so he needs to be held accountable for it in some way-- he needs to have his day in court and stand accountable for what happened. But there is a lesson here, many perhaps but the one I keep thinking about is people need to THINK THINK THINK before they do something that can have such devastating results. My thoughts & prayers go out to Trayvor Martin's family, may he RIP!

Emily... then & now.. WOW!!!

As our March of Dimes walk approaches it always makes me remember how far Emily has come.. decided I would post a picture so you can see physically the difference. :) It's truly amazing. i couldn't be more proud of her accomplishments, she has become a beautiful girl on the outside, a kind/caring person on the inside & a brain in the classroom.

New found needs...

Having a great weekend with the family... just a quiet weekend.. it's amazing how mellow I'm becoming. I mean don't get me wrong I've never been much of a crazy women, Well except there were those three months in 1997 when I rented that shore house w/ my 2 crazy friends, and we had a great time don't get me wrong-- I'll just call them my sowing oats months! But other than that I've always been a fairly mild person but I have always NEEDED to be doing something! Usually it was shopping which led to debt and wasn't productive in the least. I'm learning that I DON'T need to do anything-- and I'm finally learning to like it, I think Emily has taught me that, I've learned so much from my only child. The need for material things is just not as important to me as it once was.. I am happy with the clothes I have.. and thankful for having them. I am happy with the home I have and happy to have one. I think my whole philosophy about life has really evolved and changed over many years. I'm not perfect by any means but I can definitely see my self growing & it does make me proud.Now that is not to say I don't look around my house at times and think.. ugh so much needs to be done around here, but it's gonna take baby steps to get there... for instance a few tiles are missing in our bathroom-- we need to replace that tile, but I've gotten used to looking at it. So until we have the $, it's gonna have to be that way. The same with the outside siding.. I try not to think about the fact we still have that old (not healthy for you) siding on our house, which I KNOW needs to be changed... or the windows that are ancient.. Our goal is too try really hard to find the cash someday to do those things but we don't want to acquire any more debt, and we are trying hard to get rid of some of the debt we already have.. it is a tedious process, but we are determined. Now a big stress that is looming in the ever nearing future is Emily's college education.. ugh! That is why it is so important we get out of this debt NOW!!! I pray that she continues on the academic level she is now and she can get some scholarships and grants to help pay for it.. BUT either way I am determined that my only child ATTEND college an option that was NEVER encouraged in my own house growing up... that is one thing that is no matter what we will all figure out a way to make happen. Emily although she is only 11 will have the OPTION to go to college by any means available, she wants to go and we want her to go. She will attend. :) I think that lies heavy on me and is perhaps a major reason for my new found "frugal-ness" I'll sacrifice my wants for my daughter every time, and I know my husband feels alot of the same things!! :) Anyway..this post wasn't really what I thought it would be, but that's alot like life.. sometimes it changes on you.. and usually you learn something from it. :) Happy Sunday!

BTW... if you feel the want to help us in our desire to send Emily to college.. why not buy my husband's book.. it couldn't hurt.. lol!

http://www.lulu.com/content/hardcover-book/a-life-begun/4470291

THANK YOU!!! :)

A life Begun

THis is a link to my husband's book about our daughter Emily's birth!!! He is a very talented writer. :) I'm sooooo PROUD of him!!! I love this book & honestly it is a very easy read! Hope u'll give it a try, it's available for $5.00 ebook or Hardcopy is $39.99! (PS... one obvious spoiler... it's got a Happy ending!!)

A Crossroad....

Brian & I just got home from Emily's parent-teacher conference. As usual she is doing fantastic grade-wise. This of course fills us with pride, but we feel like we are at a crossroad in her Educational plan. Next year she starts middle school, Like most Middle schools the one Emily will attend is much bigger, has lockers, locker combinations, switching of classes, etc. A process that is difficult for most children but for Emily even more so( she has an even harder time adjusting to change, and she's needed a one on one aide for a various reasons through out her Elementary years but who has made some leaps and bounds over the course of those years.) So we've been debating whether she still needed a one-on-one aide and also whether & when we should let her try it on her own. BUT is now the right time??? The new "case-worker" at the last IEP meeting thought maybe it was, but is it?? This woman doesn't know our child..and educational Emily doesn't need one, but that was NEVER the reason for her having one. Obviously we've been thinking a lot about this..I wonder IF these kids will "label" her (if she has help), it's hard enough to make friends in middle school let alone when you have an aide, AND she is doing really WELL in her school BUT how will she be in this new environment?? We have always been concerned with her safety, she had a lot of balance issues, sensory issues, awareness issues, especially in her earlier years, kindergarten, first, second, third grades. The last two years she has made so much progress.. not the least is she has outgrown the absence seizures she had been having since 1st grade, or for that matter that she has grown a good 6 inches in the past two years... (Emily was always the smallest in her class.. starting out at 14 oz that isn't a big surprise.. but she's grown alot!!) Which has helped her with her balance!! But Emily still has an awareness issue, which can get worse with added stimuli.. especially in a school twice as big & double the children! SOOOOO.. the question remains is it the right time.. Emily's teacher has an opinion that it isn't.. that she should have an aide for atleast the beginning part of the year, and ofcourse our primary concern is Emily's safety soooo we think our decision is to go ahead and keep the aide. I hope that the kids are kinder than we are giving them credit for being.. that they won't label her because Emily is one of the smartest kids they will ever meet & is such a kind and funny kid, who just needs a little more help for a little bit longer! We don't want to throw her to the Middle school "wolves" so to speak. Especially if her teacher thinks she isn't quite ready after all we see her in a totally different environment than she does.. and obviously respect her opinion. BUT is any parent of a special needs kid ready to let them perhaps fall a few times to gain the independence they need to reach.. when will the right time be?? The choice will never be easy.. we love her too much and don't want anything to happen to her.. but everyone at one time needs the chance to try. I think that this just isn't that time yet.