Debate day 9/26/16

Well it's finally here, debate day.  I woke up this morning honestly feeling anxious.  Mostly, because I'm in utter shock over the closeness of the polls in this election.  I'm feeling like Hillary needs to blow it out the water in order to simply break even.   On paper it should be a very electrifying election, after all, there is a women running to become our first female president.  But in reality there is something for lack of a better word disconnecting about Hillary Clinton.  Perhaps it is because she's been in politics FOREVER and yet we still feel like we don't really know her.  I get that.  She doesn't make the most electrifying of candidates, she doesn't have all the bells and whistles of some other people.  President Obama had it.  Hell, even Ronald Reagan had it.  That "thing" that drew people in.   I think it's a little like we want her to be someone she may not be.  Not everyone can be the "Entertainer".  She just may not be the warm fuzzy type.  But in my opinion that has nothing to do with whether she'd make a great president. I honestly think she will.  And certainly of the two candidates she is without a doubt way more qualified to be president.  If there is one job that you need wide spread experience for, it should be president of the United States. AND she most certainly has that.  The idea of a Trump presidency scares the crap out of me.  The man is not only unqualified but just plain rude, disrespectful, and irrational.  He's a joke.  quite frankly.  an embarrassment. The idea of this man being our president is beyond my scope of understanding.  The truth is against Trump the cartoon character, there's a good chance anyone would look a little boring.   There is a fascination with Trump.  In a baboon riding a bicycle way.   It's entertaining.  Well except for me,  but then again I've never been a fan of his.  EVER.  Never ever watched a single episode of his silly reality show, and kind of hated the "man" for a while now, especially after hearing all the amazingly disrespectful things he's said about women. Especially, Rosie O'Donnell... who yes is opinionated but who has proven her heart.  She's a good person. She's incredibly charitable.  I respect her.  As opposed to Trump who supposedly used money from his own charity to pay a debt to another.    The things he's said about her and others are simply "deplorable". More Importantly though,  I'm honestly terrified of the possible life/death choices he'll have to make as our president. The idea of him being our "Commander in Chief" is what really keeps me up at night. Commander in chief!  Say that over and over again and let it sink it.  He makes the last decision on things, like going to war, this man, who hasn't even shared his tax returns with us.  Who claims to be qualified for president because he's a "Terrific businessman" but who's filed for bankruptcy many times.  Who has the nerve to say John McCain isn't a of war hero because he was caught.  Well in that case then, Trump isn't a good business man because he's filed for bankruptcy.  That's all he has.  He's running for president because he's a great businessman yet that hasn't even been proven.  I know I'm paying taxes, but what about him... perhaps he hasn't paid any or at least not his fair share.  That's just wrong.  That would kind of piss me off, but he's just hiding everything.  He's not transparent at all.  If your one of those people who say well I like him because he's not like every other politician, your right?  He's worse... he hasn't shown us anything... we know very little about him, really....  and he's getting a pass.  This isn't someone who's worked for the little people.  He's a 1%'er.  People say they like his frankness well in everything that matters there is no frankness... it's all just words.  He's a con man.  Who uses scary words to illicit fear in individuals.  Nearly every thing the man has said is done so in a tone that says follow me and I will lead you to the promise land.  He's like a cult leader.  With words like, "Trust me" "Believe me" and " I know more about Isis than the generals" he proofs it. Check out the video below for more of  Trumps most outrageous lines.  If you can honestly say this is the man that you want for your president, the person to run our country, to be our Commander in Chief well then you scare the crap out of me too. Because, he's not even a man I would want to be my mailman... let alone my president.

My girl...writin' bout my girl.

I just wanted to write a little something about my daughter Emily.  I know I already write little somethings about her all the time on here.  But I really find her to be such an amazing person and I just want to take the time to try and convey some of the ways she is,  I'm sure I won't even do her justice.  But here goes.  She is such a loving person.  She respects everyone. She is a friend of the LGBT community,  she believes in equal rights for everyone.  When she finds out someone is gay, she's like... that's AWESOME! She believes people should be WHO they are, and loved for it and if they are gay...well that's just great!   She cares about what's going on in the world.  She talks to me about world events, especially the ones she believes are unfair and social injustices.  It truly bothers her.     I'm proud to say that she is my daughter EVERY SINGLE day! She always cares about doing the right thing.  That's not to say that she doesn't make mistakes, she like the rest of us, often does.  An often used quote of mine is... there are erasers at the end of pencils because everyone makes mistakes.  The most important thing is to admit them and grow from them.  She sometimes isn't forthcoming, I think that's just a maturity thing, she's a teenager after all.  She is trying very hard.  She always tries very hard.  Right now,  one of her most favorite topics is how proud she is that Hillary Clinton could become the FIRST female president, she so wishes she could vote!  She also doesn't like Donald Trump and rightly thinks that he would make a horrible president because among others things, she says he's a bigot because of what he has said about women, Mexicans and Muslims.  She is very smart. Emily has always done well in school and from the start of school until about 7th grade never really needed to study.  Now that she's in high school and advanced classes, it requires more effort from her.  It took a while for her to understand that it didn't mean she wasn't as smart it just meant the courses were getting a lot tougher. Even so, she has never gotten less than a C on any report card ever & up until 7th grade she had never gotten less than an A. She is funny.  I wish more kids could understand that she is super funny.  She has this quick wit about her, and every year it gets a little quicker.  I wish that everyone could see her the way she is at home when she is truly comfortable with you.  But she is shy when it comes to making friends.  It is easier for her to talk to adults than it is for her to talk to kids her own age.  Another issue is she often times wants to talk only about what interest her, and we try often to explain that friendship is a two way street, if someone doesn't feel like you care about what interest them they are not going to want to be your good friend.  It's more of an indifference than her purposely being rude.  She has always struggled some with social issues.  But has made great strides there as well.  We often discuss ways that she could try and make friends.  We sometimes do role-playing.  I say... Imagine I'm a girl sitting in the cafeteria and you walk up to me, how could you start up a conversation.  We go back and forth. She says she is trying in school, but it's hard because everyone already has friends, I think the kids are kind to her,  but are not really friend friends with her.  I think another part of it is that she is a loner.  I don't believe it bothers her too much either. At least that is my hope.  It probably bothers me more than it bothers her.  I think this comes in part from being an only child & having hobbies that are solitary.  Like reading and writing.  She started reading around age 3.  I know it was before her third birthday.  I remember at her 3rd birthday check up she was reading a book and her pediatrician brought in all the nurses so they could see her.  He didn't believe it and we had to proof it to him by giving her a different book because he thought she had it memorized. She's almost sixteen now and books are still a big part of her life, but no longer the biggest part.  Music is now.  She loves music and writing songs.  She also loves BROADWAY especially musicals.  She writes musicals, the one she is writing right now is already 200+ pages and has her own original songs in it. Although she is very smart her favorite class in school is theater arts.  She is a very creative type person.  She loves singing.  She and her daddy do car- pool Karaoke often.  She loves the classic rock band RUSH, and the heavy metal band DISTURBED.  But also likes songs from Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, One direction, Billy Joel and many more.  She knows all the words in Billy Joel's song, "We didn't start the fire" and unlike everyone else I know doesn't get tongue tied while singing it.  Music is a big escape for her.  She listens to music EVERY chance she gets.  There are so many wonderful things I could say about Emily.  She isn't perfect but she is to me.  She is honestly the most amazing person I have ever known and I honestly can't believe she is my daughter.... well our daughter.  The time is flying by, so I'm glad I have this blog to have recorded some of our memories. For her to look and see that this is how I feel about her, and to remember all the things she was into back when she was 15.  She is the greatest blessing in my life, I love her more than  I could ever adequately express and every night in my prayers she gets top billing.

A fresh start... or should I say.. A sophomore start! ;)

So Em's been in school for a couple of weeks now.  She's a sophomore.  It's going really well thus far.  It's been a completely different start to the school year than last year.  A lot less stressful. Hallelujah!  Last year there was a lack of communication from her middle school to her high school and they were not aware of Emily's 504, which as you can imagine led to some concerns from her teachers. mainly one.   So last school year just started out on the wrong foot.  She also had a big adjustment as a freshman and it took a bit of time/learning to get the hang of things.  But she's doing so great thus far this year... She's keeping up on her assignments, and just has a better understanding of High school.  She's working so hard and liking her classes, especially Theatre Arts.  She loves that class!  She still has an academically challenging schedule but so far so good.  YAY! Keep up the great work Emily!  We are very proud of you. xo.  Keep it up girly! You are a rock star~~~~~~ ROCK STAR!  LOL!  Anyway, what else? Well I went out to lunch w/ my BFF today Danielle,  we had a nice time.  Went to Bertucci's.  YUMMY!   It was nice catching up.  We used to go out so much more than we are able to know a days.  Her kids are involved in so many activities and between both of us working sometimes its weeks before we get to see each other.  So it was great catching up.  Brian just got back from a quick trip (left Saturday morning... & got home Sunday night) to Oklahoma.  His brother Rob is turning 50 in a few days so he & a few of his friends were going to see THE Ohio State Buckeyes take on Oklahoma.   Rob knew that his mom and aunt were coming but had no idea that Jim (younger brother) and Brian (oldest brother) were going to surprise him there.  Anyway, from the pictures they had a great time!! Rob apparently had no idea that Jim & Brian were going.  His friends were able to keep him at the airport (apparently their flight from Ohio) arrived before Brian/Jim's from NJ and they were able to stall Rob without him getting suspicious, and when Jim and Brian both came down different flights of stairs one shouting "O H" and the other screaming "I O" I'm told it was a pretty cool moment.   Rob said something like, "Hey that sounds like my brother!" and then,  "That sounds like my other brother!" lol. before turning around to see them.  Pretty cool, huh?  Anyway just wanted to jump on here and share some of these memories with you all.  Hope things are going well for you too. :) Fingers crossed.

Cigars in heaven.

Brian's Uncle Nic passed away, on Thurs 9/1/16.  He had a massive stroke and was rushed to the hospital, where less than 24 hours later he passed.  I know it's a good thing that he didn't suffer for too long at the end, in a way he'd been slowly suffering for a while, his health had been declining for several years, he had at least one other stroke that I know of, and so it wasn't a complete shock, but it's still very much a sadness.    When Brian & I first started dating, one of our first "real" trips was to the Florida Keys for me to meet his favorite aunt, his Aunt Barbara, and her husband Uncle Nic.  I found them to both be so kind and above all incredibly generous, with their love, thoughtful gift giving, but most importantly with their time.   Nic was a "story teller" and some may have found him a little long winded & maybe even; I say this in the most loving way.... a know it all.  But I never really thought any of that.  I don't know if it was that I grew up the way I did, w/ little world experience, but most of his stories fascinated me,  also for me, it was the first time I'd heard them.   He spoke foreign languages, and had worked in US Government, in some capacity, with at least one president of the United States if I remember correctly.  I definitely know there was a picture of him in his home office with I believe, Bill Clinton!  He always knew the best places to eat.  He & I shared a love of "food". Well, that first trip was just the first of many visits with them over the years, many Uncle Nic stories and they have always been some of our favorite people to visit.   I have been told that Aunt Barbara is doing well.  He didn't suffer and that she finds comfort in that, and he had been slowly declining.  So I'm not sure for her it was too much of a shock.  Although I'm sure it's going to be hard adjusting to a life without her love.  For me,  things I'll remember about him,  were his love of food, his love of cigars, his love of captaining his boat & his love for his wife.   In the last several years, he had very much slowed down and mostly as I was told & saw, didn't follow the advice of his doctors, wasn't active enough, still ate the wrong foods, slept too long, & generally just didn't do himself any favors.  I could tell during our last visit to New Mexico, where they live now, that he had given up a little.  His stories weren't quite as long, his mood not quite as happy as it used to be,  he didn't quite have the luster for life, he once did.   So it was sad to see.  His death was truly a "blessing" in a way.  To me, it seemed anyway... he seemed a little sad that he couldn't perhaps do what he once had done.  Like I said previous,  he wasn't really good at following the "rules" but I'm pretty sure that he did stop smoking cigars the last several years, probably more at the urging of his wife than for his own good, but still...So,  I hope that there will be one really good cigar waiting for him in heaven.  One last smoke.  or maybe one first smoke, who knows, maybe those things are ok there.  I have a feeling though, he'll be meeting so many friends and be sharing too many stories to care, and doing so all pain free.  That's my hope anyway.  RIP Uncle Nic. Thanks for your kindness and the love you always showed me.  You'll be missed.   xo