Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Bittersweet Growing pains

Our daughter is 12,  & it's hard to admit but no denying she's starting to grow up.  Just yesterday she put her first "poster" on her wall that wasn't of a dog, cat, or pokemon but of Adam Levine.  The lead singer of Maroon 5 & one of her "crushes".  What can I say she has good taste! :)  She just loves him, his looks, his music just everything about him.  I know when I was 12 I had my own wall of crushes... so I know it's completely normal to do but it's still a little bittersweet cause I can see she's growing up.  I push myself to give her a little more independence each day, it's hard when your role as her mother must change a little & what you want to do isn't what you should do & while it's more important than ever to guide her, it's also important to not lead her & that's a hard lesson for me. I'm learning & I'm stopping myself before I do for her what she is completely capable of doing for herself & in fact it's necessary for her to learn to do.  Don't get me wrong this is a process & it's been going on for years but it's more clear than ever that my role is changing & the neediness she had for me is starting to wane as it should.  I shouldn't be making her bed, or getting her breakfast every day, even though I find myself still doing those sometimes. Emily had some mild delays cause she was born premature, I suppose that made me do more for her, for longer than other parents may have. Maybe it's just that she's an only child, maybe it's my own issues of wanting to feel needed but whatever the reason I guess it's finally becoming clear that what is most important for me to do is let her do things for herself.  It's what she needs & what I must teach her as her mom.  So I find myself desperately trying to pull back & accept the fact that my little girl isn't so little anymore & it's more important then ever to let her start learning all the things in life she'll need when the girl she is, becomes the women she'll be.

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