Birthday wisdom, from Mom

Today is my birthday and I'm 36. I have always found birthdays a tad depressing. I mean not always but since I turned 27 I have. I don't know why 27. But for me that was the #. But, I've tried to look at it differently ever since my Mom died... Let me share some wisdom from my mom with you. The last few years of my mom's life when she was battling her cancer. She would say I LOVE BIRTHDAYS... because It means I lived another year. Every year around my birthday when I'm feeling that feeling of oh no another birthday. I can hear my mom saying these words to me and it makes me want to try and remember that I should NOT be sad about turning another year older but be happy and celebrate another year of my life that I lived. It isn't always easy. I mean I don't like getting older but it is true, I'm lucky to be here. I need to remember my Mom's wisdom this day and let it remind me of how terrific my life is and how lucky I am to be living it. I'm gonna try and Mom, I'm remembering you today as always and loving you so much!!

my Artwork

CAMPING FUN!

Here are a couple of pictures from our camping trip we took over the weekend. We all had a really nice time. Emily had so much FUN, as you can see!! She LOVED the bears!!

Emily's Artwork

Emily drew this Pokemon, named Bulbasaur. To the left is a image we swiped off the web, and to the right is Emily's version of Bulbasaur.

She drew it 8/19/2007. Emily is totally obsessed with Pokemon now.

This, That and What-not

I haven't updated in a while and so I decided to write something. I don't know what but I guess I'll start by saying. We are going camping this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. I hope Emily has a really fun time. Swimming, playing and outdoors... it should be fun.We rented a little cabin and this is the first time we've gone camping with Emily. Brian, Emily and I are going, Fernando is staying home to have the house to himself. I understand. He's 21... he's not interested in camping with the family. Oh well, I wish he was going but atleast we don't have to pay for a kennel for the dogs. We have 2 dogs, Bandit and Smokey. Bandit is a pug and about 9 years old. Smokey is a keeshond and around 8 years old. They grew up together and are like best friends getting old together. It's sweet. We started school shopping for Emily. We are pretty much done. I can't believe school starts in like 3 weeks. It's too soon. I'm not ready for Emily to be in school for almost 8 hours, every day!! I'm really not. But she is real excited about going to school again, so I put on my Mom face and "act" happy too. I just worry about her while she is there, like every parent I'm sure. Will she be save and happy today? It's so scary this world. You know, but I can't think like that. I'm trying. Anyway, we got her a lot of cute clothes. We still have to get all the school supplies. I lost the list. Oh brother. I don't remember having a list when I went to school. I mean you used paper bags to cover your books and you needed pencils and a notebook. THE END. Nowadays they have specific items. It's a tad stressful. I still am doing my 3 jobs. No, I haven't quit the deli yet. I was close a few times but haven't done it yet. I had a conversation with the BOSS guy and voiced some of my frustrations. He's like, " I understand, ...blah, blah, blah, ....... but my hands are tied." Okay........ so that's just great. I'm still there, bottom line. It sucks!!! On to better things, I'm watching the kids tomorrow... so cute. It makes me happy to do that, and Emily loves playing with Madeline, she's 4 and adorable. A very good match for Emily. They are like ying and yang but it's perfect. Because they learn from each other. Josh is 4 1/2 months old. He's getting so big and just such a sweet baby. I am enjoying him so much. I've been watching them pretty consistently for the last several weeks. Usually once or a twice a week. I usually do the bookkeeping once or twice a week. And I work at the Deli once a week. It keeps me busy and I do like that. It's boring to just sit at home and do the same old, same old----and earning some money is nice too. Feeling like I contribute. Brian's been really busy with work lately. He has this project due and they are putting the pressure on him to get it done. I hope he is able to relax while we are away. Our last family vacation didn't go so well, I am hoping this one goes better. It should. It's not as elaborate and sometimes those are the best kind. You know... you can relax and not have so much to plan. Unlike those vacations, you need a vacation from. Everyone has had those. Anyway, that's about all. I will try and write more often. PEACE.

An Interview with Emily-Age 6

Who is the President?
"George Washington"

What is his job?
"HELPING PEOPLE!!"

Who is your favorite person?
"Bryan" (one of her classmates)

Why?
"Because he helps me"

What do you like to do?
" Read books, play with toys, play games and get packages"

What grade are you in?
"First"

What is your favorite thing about School?
"playtime and Math"

What do you want to be when you grow up?
"A fireman, and a teacher and a doctor and a baker who bakes LOTS of yummy treats"

Why A fireman?
" Because I have to spray hoses"

Why a Teacher?
"Because I want to teach someone"

Why a Doctor
"Because I want to help people and give them bandaids"

Why a Baker
"Because I want to bake a cake"


Thank you Emily.





August 13,2007

Love.. and a little anger thrown in for good measure

So I totally had the plan to go into the deli and quit. I've been off for two weeks and that just confirmed it, I need to quit. I am much happier when I know that I don't have to work there. I only work on Sunday's and even that I can't bear. So I went in there on Sunday and was going to quit. I get there and find out that 4 people were fired and 2 people they hired never showed up after the first week. Should tell you something right? But because I'm nice and too concerned with what other's think. I decide not to quit on Sunday. I should have, it's what I wanted to do. But I didn't. So, know I still have to think, worry and stress about doing it. Why am I like this. I worry, and fret about things that I know are NOT worth it. They don't care about their employees so why do I CARE about them. I shouldn't. I do. It sucks!! UUUURRRRGGGHHH!! Anyway, I'm letting it go atleast for right now. I am going to try and not think about that place until Sunday, when I will once again go in and work there! And be consumed with the anger I feel when I work there. OKAY....... LETTING IT GO. Breathe. Okay on to other things. I worked from home last night doing the bookkeeping for my new job. I really like that job. I feel both proud of my work and respected at the job. SO it's a much different experience. I am happy when I am doing that work. It sometimes takes me a while to get going and do it, especially since alot of the time I work from home and it's difficult to get started. But when I do, it goes really quickly and I actually am enjoying it. So, that's good. Really good. I also have been babysitting a little more for my friend. I really enjoy doing that too. It's really great and I can do it from home. So that is good too. I don't drive, I mean I have a license and all. I got it when I was 18, but I don't drive. I couldn't afford a car for a long time. Because, I was living on my own from the time I was 19, so it was very difficult to have extra money after rent and food and bills. Anyway, I didn't do it and then it just became part of my life that I didn't drive. I am afraid to drive now. I know that sounds stupid and maybe even is stupid but it's true. I am trying to be honest here. I am embarrassed by the fact... but it is the truth. So anyway, that is that. I don't know how it is for most people but my marraige is like the ocean. It has waves, good and bad periods. We are in a really good period right now. Brian and I, have been feeling really close lately. I think you need to work at a marraige and it's not easy. Infact it is really difficult, but it's worth it!! I am relearning how worth it... it is.
:) Peace... & Love.....

Weekend update... 8-4-07

Hello- today we went to a pool party/BBQ at our friends house. We had a really nice time. Emily is so funny, she didn't want to get in the pool and was afraid and then finally she gets in, finds out she "LOVES IT" and then she doesn't want to get out of the pool. She just wanted to stay in it. I finally told, "Emily-- we can't LIVE in the pool, we have to get out sometime." She thought that was funny, " No- Mommy we can not LIVE in the pool- you're right." I was like, "Thank you Emily". The only negative(sorta)thing about the party was we really didn't know anyone there-- except for our friends that invited us. That's always a little awkward. I think a lot of people that were there felt the same way. Because there were people from her work, and people from his work and some family members and just other friends. We all just stayed in our own little groups. It reminded me of high school. All the little cliques. Since we didn't know anyone at all. We had the smallest clique. It's funny how it doesn't change. Every one stays with their own friends. God forbid if we tried to get to know other people or even GOD FORBID make new friends. That would just be CRAZY. Anyway, It's been great having Brian back although I wonder if he feels the same. I mean, I know he is happy to see us again.... but not to live the mundane routine that is "normal" life. WORK, BILLS, STRESS etc. That is what makes vacations so great. You know. I can't even blame him for not wanting to come back to those things. Tomorrow I work at the deli. My 8 hours of hell. I'm really thinking of quitting it for good. I don't enjoy working there at all, I've been off for 2 weeks and it just has reminded me how much I hate it. Anyway-- I hope another month doesn't go by and I just continue working there--- it's just wasted hours in my life. You know. I am sure a lot of people feel that way and can't just quit. I'm lucky to not need to work at that job and to have the blessing of my husband to just quit. I've been in the situation of HAVING to work at a job I hated and it's no fun at all. Anyway.... I hope that whom ever reads this and is in that circumstance gets a blessing in their life that allows them to leave and pursue something that makes them happy. :) PEACE and LOVE to you.

Homecoming

BRIAN IS HOME.... HOORAY!! He had a terrific time and can't wait to do it again!!! I think the travel bug is now in him, and we are in trouble- Ha!!Ha!!
Anyway, I wanted to share a poem that Brian wrote for me in 1998.


"HOMECOMING"

At times your voice,
Can be enough,
To Bridge the gap of miles.
Always when it's
full of Joy,
So my heart can feel your smile.

But other times
It's not the same,
and the miles feel far and cruel.
When I hear sadness
in your voice,
and I'm not there to comfort you.

I miss your smile
I miss your face
I miss the little things you do.
Yet, It's still a comfort
when I'm gone,
to know you're there to come back to.

By Brian Roach

Family Stuff....

First off, BRIAN WILL BE HOME TOMORROW!!! Yeah... I'm so excited I get to see my hubby again after almost 2 weeks!!! I've been really missing him alot, especially this week. SO I'm really happy he'll be home tomorrow!!! Emily and I have had a very busy week. My mother in law has been visiting NJ this week because she is taking care of my nephews while their parents took a vaca to HAWAII....Aren't they lucky!!! Emily has enjoyed so much visiting with her grandma. It's been really wonderful for her!!! Pat, is a great Grandma to her grandkids. Really loving, and very giving. I wish she lived closer to us, so it was really nice to have her here for a whole week. We squeezed in a lot of activities for the week. We went to Cape May NJ---beautiful. We went to their house for swimming--- 3 different days ( we even got my bro Fernando to go with us one time). We went to the Franklin Institute in Phila. and FunPlex in Mt. Laurel NJ and to dinner a few nights. SO it's been very hectic but fun too. We've had alot of Mommy-daughter bonding these two weeks but I'm happy Brian will be home to give me a little bit of a break. Although, I must admit Emily is a really wonderful child and entertains herself quite nicely. I'm very LUCKY!! This morning I worked at my bookkeeping job, and then BFF and I took all the kids to Friendly's for lunch. It was really a good time. Her baby boy is so cute. He was so good at Friendly's, we are lucky he is such a good baby as we are still able to go out to lunch and do outings with him. He is 4 months old and such a little cutie!!
Don't have any plans tonight but I am happy for the break. Gotta go, Emily wants me to help her make a dump truck... WHAT? Oh well, she is very creative I'm sure we will figure out a way to do it. Oh yes, one more thing... Emily is now writing Chapter books!! Really amazing. My BFF said that JK Rowlings starting writing books at age 6... Emily has been writting books since about 5. I guess we have a future billionaire in our family..... don't worry we'll share the wealth... HA HA. Peace... to all ... :) Missy