Hello Hello...

Hello, went shopping with my friend Danielle and realized that I have NO FREAKING ClUE what to get for people for Christmas. I better figure it out soon. I told Danielle I'll "TRY" and be better prepared next time. I went aimlessly through each store with out any ideas. I thought something would jump out at me but realized, That's not happening. Oh well, still have about a month left but when I think about everyone we shop for and realize that we only have a few things for Emily and that's it.. I'm a little freaked!! But we always manage some how. Everyone in my neighborhood has there Xmas lights and things up already. I personally don't like putting them up before Dec. because I get sick of looking at them by Christmas. I still want that warm and fuzzy feeling when I look at them on Christmas day and if I put them up too soon, I well, "Loss that lovin' Feelin'" what can I say been singing a lot of Kareoki(sic) lately. I totally need spell check on this blog. Because I suck. Anyway, Emily has 1/2 days for the rest of this week. It is becuase of Parent-teacher conferences happening this week. Ours is tomorrow night. So we shall see. :) Anyway, I need to try and COOK something for dinner we've been eating out ALOT lately so I definately MUST cook tonight. Maybe I'll make Chili. I think that is a good Idea. Okay, Well I'll go. BYE!

tOo MuCh

Hello.... Emily's bowling party was today. First off Emily had a terrific time and I'm trying to remember that is all that matters.... but only 3 kids from her class showed up and Madeline. So it was a little disappointing to me. But Emily had a nice time and that is all that matters RIGHT. Why would you RSVP and then NOT SHOW UP.... SO RUDE. I can't believe it!!! BUT WHATEVER... Breathe. Okay.... I'm also just in a bad mood because well I don't feel well. I have a head cold and just feel beat we have been so busy this week and all the planning for the party and Thanksgiving and parties and Pat being here... I'm just BEAT. Really. I guess I'll try and recover over the next few days, it doesn't help that I've ate and drank crap for like a week and feel really UNCOMFORTABLE because of it. I guess I'll go and try and relax finally.... OH and by the way.. I Can't Believe my baby girl is 7 years old... It's mind boggling... she was just a little baby and now she's such a beautiful big girl. I LOVE her so.

Thoughts of my Mom & Emily

Today is my Mom's Birthday. I'm thinking of her and wishing so much she was stil here to give me guidance when I need it.. like today cause Emily's not feeling well again and threw up again last night. I'm sure my mom would have a way to make her feel better. Some home remedy or get her a little present that makes her feel better like she did when I was a kid. I try and do the same thing for Emily. It meant so much to me when I was a kid and was sick at home... throwing up, or just feeling awful. She always made me feel better even when I was a grown-up (kid) I never was any good at being sick. My mom always made me feel better... she was very good at norturing. It was one of the things that made her a great Mom. I miss her so much!! So I'm sure she would help me so much with Emily. So I guess I'll just try and do for Emily what I thing she would have done for me. So Emily's in bed right now watching TV. Brian and I thought Emily was okay.... she hadn't thrown up anything since Saturday morning around 7 am. But I went in to wake her up this morning and there it was throw up in the bucket (I'm glad I left it in there!) I just want to make her feel better... and I don't know how. I hope whatever this is goes AWAY FOR GOOD soon. I hate when she feels sick. I just want her all better. So I told her she can watch all the TV she wants, as long as she takes it easy today. Blah foods, etc. I don't know what else to do. If she can't keep down food today I guess we'll call the doctor... we both(Brian & I) think that maybe she just went back to eating junk too quickly. Yesterday was the baptism for Joshua and since she had been eating and not throwing up for 24 hours she went to the after baptism Lunch. She had meatballs, pasta salad, and CAKE. SO maybe we just pushed too hard to quick. We are hoping. Going back to toast, crackers, broth and jello. AND OF COURSE GINGER ALE. My mom always gave me ginger ale when I was sick, so ofcourse that is what I give Emily. Mom knows best!!! I was planning on doing some work from home today but misunderstood and can't now. My friend/boss needs his computer all day so I have to do it tomorrow. Probably best since Emily is home and may need me. It's best when she is at school so I don't have disruptions. Josh's baptism went well. He was so good at the church. We had a nice time. I am officially a Godmother. Yeah!! Somehow it being so close to my Mom's birthday made it even more special... Emily's baptism was on Mother's Day... It's all connected!! I feel. I know she is watching me and maybe played a small role in when my friend chose the date. I think... It's what I choose to think and I really do beleive it too.

Alot happening...

Last night Emily was so sick. She must have got a stomach bug. She seemed fine when we put her to bed but at around 1:30 am she came in our room to say she had to throw up. What she meant was that she already threw up and still had to throw up. Poor girl. I felt so sorry for her. She must have thrown up like 5 times. Since we didn't go to bed until after 12:30 and we were up pretty much all night after 1:30 ... Brian and I are (as you can imagine)exhausted. Brian was really looking forward to today too because the BIGGEST GAME of the COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON was today.. OHIO STATE V. MICHIGAN. He also had wanted to get up early and work on the shed we bought which still needs to be put the rest of the way up. I'm getting nervous because we don't know how many nice days we will have left until winter really hits. Anyway,so they(Fernando and Brian)are working on it right now. It's getting pretty dark outside already(it's 4:30). I don't know how much longer they can go today. But atleast one wall is done. That's progress!! Emily is taking a nap which I'm happy about because she got so little sleep last night. She needed sleep. She argued with me a little about going to sleep and I finally told her that we would not be able to go on the Webkins website UNLESS she took a nap. That did it! She was asleep within 15 minutes and has been asleep since around 3:15 I'm going to have to wake her up soon if I want her to sleep tonight. Anyway, tomorrow is another BIG day. It's Joshua's baptism!! My GODSON. I feel so honored that they asked me to be his godmother. I am really taking it very serious. I hope we have a really special bond forever. I want to be the best Godmother to him! Whatever that means.. I guess just being there for him, always! That's what it means to me anyway always being there for him.. to help him and be a friend to him. So he knows I will always have his back, and mostly just love him. I know I would do all those things anyway but It makes it more special! Does that make sense? It's a commitment in my eyes, that no matter what I will be there for him in whatever ways I can be. I'm feeling a little emotional because it really is so wonderful that they have chose me! I feel very blessed about it!! So we have to meet at the church around 11 or so tomorrow. I get to hold him up in the front... I'm a little nervous about that. Danielle told me yesterday that his baptism outfit is really slippery so now I am worried he'll slip right out of my hands. Not really but the thought has crossed my mind, since she told me that. Plus I'm wearing heels and I'm not used to that. No, It's going to be fine.. I'm just going to stand real close to Danielle incase. :) Also next week is going to be really busy becuase my Mother in law is visiting and that always means lots of activities. She's only visiting for 3 nights and we have 3birthdays and Thanksgiving while she's here. It's a party on Wednesday nite, the day she arrives for our nephew, Then Thanksgiving on Thursday!! Then we are having a small family birthday on Friday for Emily and Brian. She leaves on Saturday but then we have a birthday party to attend for a girl in Emily's class and my aunt wants to have us over for dinner on Saturday nite. ON Sunday is Emilys party at the bowling alley. BTW... I feel a little bit better because 4 kids RSVP'd they were coming. Emily is real excited, although she is disappointed her friend Bryan can't come. Anyway... WOW so much going on. :) PEACE OUT.... Oh and by the way Ofcourse OHIO STATE WON!!

Tumble Bumble..

I could not think of a title for this blog. SO I choose this title because it was Emily's first favorite book. :) Emily's school has an Americanism show each year. The different grades preform songs about America and Patriotism. It's really nice. Anyway it's on Friday. Her grade sings "God Bless America". She's been performing it infront of us for the last couple of weeks. TOO CUTE. Brian & Emily's birthdays are both coming up. Brian's is on the 21st and Emily's is on the 23rd. I want to get Brian something nice but don't know what exactly... he has very expensive taste, when it comes to most things. We invited all of Emily's class to her birthday party so far only 1 child has RSVP'd so much for me worrying that "ALL" the kids would show up. Oh well, we'll try and make it alot of fun for Emily anyway... but I really hope that many more kids RSVP... they only have two day. It's not looking good. UUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHH!

Veteran's Day

Today, I'm thinking of our brave men and women who put on that uniform and fight and bleed and die for our country. I am amazed at their courage and astounished by their selflessness. I THANK THEM for all they do and sacrifice. I THANK THEM for their service and mostly I thank them for their bravery. GOD BLESS!

Oh my God It's 1:44 AM

I hosted a baby shower for my neice today. Had fun!! I'm Tired!!! Going to Bed!!

What's going On.....

I love that song by Marvin Gaye. I was thinking about it when I wrote the blog title. I think about the words to that song and the power behind them. So much like it is again in the world. Very Powerful, but I really wanted to write about what's going on in my life right now. My neice is going to have a baby very soon and I am not sure how I feel about the idea of being a Great aunt. I mean ofcouse I love it because I get to have a new wonderful baby in my life. I just wish I was just an aunt... a great aunt sounds so old. Yikes!! But it's wonderful.. truly. I need to do a really good cleaning of my house but I haven't been in the mood. I was briefly this morning so I cleaned by light fixture and the cabinets in the kitchen and stuff but that's about it I cleaned for about an hour and then I stopped and I have lost all desire to start again. Shit. Oh well, It doesn't matter because Emily is being really cute right now. She's playing with her baby dolls. She gave them baths in this plastic tupperware tub. Now she just told me she is going to have two babies and is writting a to do list on how to. IT's called, "How a baby comes out of a Mommy's belly." She is really into writting list of all kinds. SHe just said # 5- "the mommy gets so big that the baby loses all it's hair." It's so cute and kind of hysterical to hear her explanations! LOVE LOVE LOVE is what I feel.

Emily's halloween Costume

Here is a picture of Emily from halloween isn't she a cute JigglyPuff! She had a great time!!

Debate and self-education 60+ years after....

Okay so I watched the Democratic debate the other night. Well actually I didn't watch it on TV cause I forgot until there was only like a half hour left so I watched it on MSNBC.com the next day. I am not sure yet who I am going to vote for. I really like John Edwards and honestly feel that he has the most heart and I truly beleive what he says... so my gut tells me to vote for him but then I took a test on issues and it said I match the most with Barack Obama. Whom I like as well. I like both of them alot. But I'm not sure they can win the primary. I for some reason don't feel comfortable with Hillary Clinton winning the primary. I'm not sure why. Maybe she brings too much baggage, and I just am not confident that she can win the election and I really really want a democrat to win. Any democrat, I just can't stand the thinking of most of the republicans. I also liked the answers that Joe Biden gave at the debate. I don't know much about him and I will definately be looking into him, again can he win? I think that with all that is going on right now, with how scary every thing is that I just want a completely different approach. Diplomacy.. would be nice, not just a word but actual diplomacy. I want different thinking individuals in there, to lead us. I feel very scared! Today on my home page, a headline read, Pilot that dropped the bomb on Hiroshima dies, and I realized I don't even know much about Hiroshima. So I read an article and then I read another. I was reading these articles about what the bomb( and second bomb on Nagasaki) did and saw pictures of little kids with their skin burned off and I kept thinking " what had they done" What had those little children done.... my answer... nothing. I don't care what their leaders would or wouldn't do... we inflicted this pain, this death on innocent people and I could not get past that. I'm reading these articles and they are talking about the victims who survived the initial blast of the bomb but died within a week/a month or a year/s from the radiation. I came to the understanding, that I didn't know much about this. I realized how little I was taught in school about this time in our history. I realized how little I know and still know and realized I wanted to learn so I could truly know what it is I feel about this. I feel like my gut tells me how wrong bombing innocent people is and then I realized I don't know all the circumstances as to why we did it. Would knowing change my mind? I mean I understand Pearl Harbor and I understand that we asked them to surrender and they would not but was this the only choice we had. Our country bombed them with this new "Atomic" bomb and killed hundreds of thousands of people and today, I felt horrified. We did this. The USA introduced the nuclear bomb to the world. It happened 60 years ago and today I felt this. Today was the first day that I even knew a little about it. Perhaps when I was in school I had learned about this. But I truly don't remember--- isn't that sad?,that either I wasn't taught it. Or was so caught up in other things didn't realize it's significance. I wish someone could explain it in a way that I could understand how we "had no other choice" but to use an "atomic" bomb and kill all those people. I wish I could say well we had to. I wish I could express what it is I'm trying to say here, I wish I was more educated. I'm sure I look dumb, I mean how could I not know about this. I feel dumb. SO I'll try and learn more and that is all I can do. I'll try and figure out what happened and how I feel about it... just so I know the details so I can be educated about this, we owe them that... The innocent, all of them. Our soldiers and their innocent citizens. I owe them that, even if it was 30 years before I was born.