Emily's sweet 16

Emily... yes my Emily turned 16 a few weeks ago. WOW! I still can't wrap my head around how fast that happened.  She was just 4, wasn't she?  NOPE! Well it sure feels like that.   lol.  We didn't have a big party for her this year.  We just didn't have the money. Nor and thankfully so did Emily "want" a big party, or a at least that's not the impression we got.  Instead we did a few things for her for her"big" day.  On her actual birthday Brian, Emily & I had cake and gave her our presents.  The big one was a trip to NYC (only about 2 hours from where we live) & tickets to the Broadway musical, "School of Rock". She also got a few smaller presents.  One being a blu ray of The Hunchback of Notre Dame! She is obsessed with all things Hunchback of Notre Dame.  She loves an UNDERDOG story and it's her favorite Disney movie! She was never really into the "princess" stories of Disney and feels like this one isn't about the princess and she's right.  But back to Emily's 16th birthday extravaganza...lol.  We asked some friends and family to help us celebrate Emily's birthday by going to Olive Garden.  Emily's choice.  So a week after her birthday we all got together there to continue the celebration! She was so happy she got to see everyone.  There ended up being 14 of us and I know Emily loved it!! Finally..... we had her day in NYC and the show was great!!!! It was awesome!  Even Brian enjoyed it and that's saying something because he's not really a "Broadway" kind of guy and he missed 1/2 of a Steelers game to go.  LOL! If you knew how important the Steelers are to him.  You'd understand just how much a big deal it is.  But.... his daughter obviously comes first.  New York was great, everything went smoothly--- we got in, found parking and went to lunch at Ellen's Stardust diner.  The have a singing wait staff, so it's really fun!  One of the greatest parts of the day happened there.  The food was ok and we were a little cramped in the not ideal setting of the Upper level BUT THEN they sang Emily's two ALL TIME favorite songs from Broadway.  One being from Les Miz and the other from Hunchback. It was crazy cause we were only there for like 45 minutes and they played her two favorites, that made her day!!! It could not have been more perfect.  She was so happy and just sang right along! It was fun seeing her enjoying herself so much.  Luckily for us the School of Rock theater was right next door.  We couldn't have planned it better!!  Like I said we all thoroughly enjoyed School of Rock.  Funny, and entertaining! A great pick!  Emily being an all things Broadway Buff was in her glory and she loved that it was a Andrew Lloyd Weber production!  After the show she even went to the back of the theater and met several in the cast and had them sign her program she had bought! She was most excited that she got to meet the star of the show that day.  Mr. Merritt David Janes who played Dewey Finn! He was the understudy but he was fantastic!!! He was really kind to Emily and even allowed her to take a few pics with him!!!! She was OVER THE MOON! It was a great day, and could not have went any better! I think Emily had the best time! Mission Accomplished! Happy 16th Birthday, Emily!!!!

still STRONGER TOGETHER!

So it's been a few days since election day and I finally feel capable (maybe) of writing this post.  I honestly went into Tuesday thinking Hillary would win and fairly easily.  I think it was a combination of factors, listening to the pollsters saying Hillary was in the lead. Being part of a "secret" facebook group (Pantsuit Nation) who believed as I did that Hillary would be elected our president because I sincerely believed love does trump hate.  Being from the blue state of NJ, I was surrounded by hope so as the results came in, and I started to realize that Tr$mp was doing really well.  I was stunned.  When around the time Florida was called & Ohio was just about to be called for Tr$mp I was beyond scared.  At some point around there I just started to cry.  I was soooo disappointed in the rest of our country, they were letting hate win.   I wasn't expecting to be so upset. But I just started to cry and could not stop.  I was embarrassed that so many in the country would let this in my opinion vile, despicable mean man win. Did they not listen? Did they not hear?  What he said? The hate speak.  The fear talk. I was so disappointed, I was just stunned.  I cried and cried.  Not just because Hillary had lost.  I felt like it was so much bigger than that.  I knew that so many had seen & heard it and still voted for him.  It bothered me on a deeper level, I felt so let down by my country and couldn't shake that he had awakened this under belly of racist & they voted, because of his hateful rhetoric and they liked it.  I'm not saying that everyone who voted for Tr$mp are racist,  I honestly don't believe that.  But I know that I wouldn't be able to stand by someone who had said those things. I wouldn't be standing with a man who the KKK had endorsed.  I would be getting as far away from a man like that as I could.  I think when it comes down to it,  it really is that simple to me.  A friend of mine on facebook said it best... she said,  He (Tr$mp) may not have wanted the endorsement (by the KKK) but by not rejecting it, he accepted it.  I couldn't agree more.  I just felt so let down.  I also felt bad for Hillary Clinton.  Here was this person who had fought and worked so hard for our country for decades and she wanted nothing more than to be president and so many of us wanted that too.  It was sad.  I just felt sad.  Like the pain of grieving for something.  That raw. visceral pain.  I felt bad for my daughter and all our daughters who still can't say...  I can be president one day! & believe it.  Emily wanted it so bad.  She was excited and I was excited for her.  It all bothered me.  I was devastated.  I was sad when I went to bed late Tuesday night & I was sad when I woke up.  On Wednesday I had another breakdown... a good cry.  My husband was supportive to me (and disappointed as well, he just wasn't as shocked as I was when it happened) but aside from rubbing my back and saying there there (Shelton Cooper style) what could he really say or do.  I tried putting on a brave face for my daughter Emily in the morning,  I told her that although Tr$mp was the president, we still had to do the right things, we had to be kind and caring and let people know no matter what we accepted them- we stood with them.  I told her to keep her head up high & if anyone at school started to discuss it, just go high if they go low.  People are allowed to have different opinions then us but they can't bully you because of yours.    But inside I was just sad.  I was trying to shake it off, but I couldn't.  I managed to go to work on Wednesday, despite every ounce of me saying I don't wanna.  I did.  That was about all I had.  I have to admit I'm glad I did.  I got up, I got going and I continued on.... it was probably for the best.   My friend at work, really cheered me up.  We had a good laugh, of all things, over when her electricity went out because she didn't pay the bill and her young son called his friend to say, "hey did your lights just go out?"  I found my self laughing and was surprised. Just goes to show you,  life goes on... but I still am really worried.  I worry that Tr$mp will undo so much.  Like gay marriage, don't ask don't tell,  planned parenthood, roe v wade, "Obama"care, and worse yet what if he defaults on some debt we owe to another country and starts a war, etc.  I'm worried about the supreme court justices he'll choose.  I worry we'll go backwards instead of moving forward.  I worry and worry and still get up and get going, because whether he's president or not.  I know what is right.  I know that Hillary won the popular vote and that gives me hope knowing that there are so many people like me who know what really matters, is how kind we are to one another and how one man can not bring us down.  I will keep voting and hoping that next time good will prevail & fight if he tries to lead us in the wrong direction. Because in my heart, I know LOVE still trumps HATE.

A plea... one day left... please read.

So I really like Hillary & I support her whole heartily I think she's going to make an amazing president but I'm not going to go into all the reasons I think that. Because I don't believe that's going to change some minds.  A lot of you don't like her.  Maybe you even hate her.   I don't understand why you feel that way... but I get that for what ever reason you do. SO I want to speak to you about NOT why you should vote for Hillary,  because I think for many of you, you simply won't.  I want to speak to you simply about why you shouldn't vote for him.   This is what Tr$mp has done in just this election process...he's divided the country even more, hell even so many in his own party don't support most of what he's said or done, he's created hate, he's elicited violence & fear to name just a few.    Also, personally I've noticed way less "vocal" support for him from reasonable people, people I consider friends, even the ones I know who are supporting him haven't been singing his praises, because really what is there to praise.  He's inexperienced, he's a bully, he's got bankrupt businesses, he's angry, he says inappropriate things, (LIKE ALL THE TIME) and so much more.  Needless to say,  I don't understand how anyone could support him.   I get that you might not like Hillary or her policies but she's at least reasonable. She's at least kind. Ok so she's made a few mistakes.  She shouldn't have said his supporters were deblorables... she should have just said he was.  She's made mistakes in a 30+ yr career.. who hasn't?  But she's respected by her colleagues, above that... she's respected by so many republicans, who have come out in support of her not because they wanted to, but because they are putting COUNTRY OVER PARTY.   That has got to tell you something?  I'd much rather go with someone who knows how to run a country, who's got experience, quite frankly, more than anyone ever, who's levelheaded than w/ someone like Donald, who you know in your gut is at the very least... a serious gamble.  This is our country, right? the one we love?  You are willing to gamble our security, our way of life for him.  He's not even respectful or in my opinion "kind". You want to put our liberties, our standing in the world, the very reasons why America is the greatest country in the world,  in the hands of someone like him.  To me, that's dangerous  We have children & grandchildren to think of.    I say... If you have any doubts don't do it.  Don't VOTE for him.  Clue #1.... If you're embarrassed to admit you support him maybe it's because you don't. 

"Your" vote matters...

It's getting close to Nov 8th.  I just want to say,  in that booth you have the right to vote for who YOU believe is better to lead our country.  If say, your husband is supporting the "other guy", it doesn't matter,  in that booth it's your decision.  I just want to say this,  because there are three T#rump/Pence signs on my street & it made me think- I wonder if everyone in the family is on board his crazy train. You are your own person, the decision is yours alone.  No one owns your vote & in that booth...you alone... have free will to vote your conscience, your truth, and it's no one else's business. Choose wisely... the most important thing is to VOTE! 

My girl.. the historian.

True Story... Emily had an assignment in her honors English class. She had to write something that was unique about her. So she wrote about how she loves US History, including how she visited the White House and that since she was about 5 years old she's been able to recite the presidents in order. She had to give an oral presentation of what she wrote & afterwards she asked the class if they would like to hear her recite the presidents... they said yes. So she gets to the end she says, "Bush, Clinton, Bush, Obama & HOPEFULLY Clinton" That's my girl! XO

Debate day 9/26/16

Well it's finally here, debate day.  I woke up this morning honestly feeling anxious.  Mostly, because I'm in utter shock over the closeness of the polls in this election.  I'm feeling like Hillary needs to blow it out the water in order to simply break even.   On paper it should be a very electrifying election, after all, there is a women running to become our first female president.  But in reality there is something for lack of a better word disconnecting about Hillary Clinton.  Perhaps it is because she's been in politics FOREVER and yet we still feel like we don't really know her.  I get that.  She doesn't make the most electrifying of candidates, she doesn't have all the bells and whistles of some other people.  President Obama had it.  Hell, even Ronald Reagan had it.  That "thing" that drew people in.   I think it's a little like we want her to be someone she may not be.  Not everyone can be the "Entertainer".  She just may not be the warm fuzzy type.  But in my opinion that has nothing to do with whether she'd make a great president. I honestly think she will.  And certainly of the two candidates she is without a doubt way more qualified to be president.  If there is one job that you need wide spread experience for, it should be president of the United States. AND she most certainly has that.  The idea of a Trump presidency scares the crap out of me.  The man is not only unqualified but just plain rude, disrespectful, and irrational.  He's a joke.  quite frankly.  an embarrassment. The idea of this man being our president is beyond my scope of understanding.  The truth is against Trump the cartoon character, there's a good chance anyone would look a little boring.   There is a fascination with Trump.  In a baboon riding a bicycle way.   It's entertaining.  Well except for me,  but then again I've never been a fan of his.  EVER.  Never ever watched a single episode of his silly reality show, and kind of hated the "man" for a while now, especially after hearing all the amazingly disrespectful things he's said about women. Especially, Rosie O'Donnell... who yes is opinionated but who has proven her heart.  She's a good person. She's incredibly charitable.  I respect her.  As opposed to Trump who supposedly used money from his own charity to pay a debt to another.    The things he's said about her and others are simply "deplorable". More Importantly though,  I'm honestly terrified of the possible life/death choices he'll have to make as our president. The idea of him being our "Commander in Chief" is what really keeps me up at night. Commander in chief!  Say that over and over again and let it sink it.  He makes the last decision on things, like going to war, this man, who hasn't even shared his tax returns with us.  Who claims to be qualified for president because he's a "Terrific businessman" but who's filed for bankruptcy many times.  Who has the nerve to say John McCain isn't a of war hero because he was caught.  Well in that case then, Trump isn't a good business man because he's filed for bankruptcy.  That's all he has.  He's running for president because he's a great businessman yet that hasn't even been proven.  I know I'm paying taxes, but what about him... perhaps he hasn't paid any or at least not his fair share.  That's just wrong.  That would kind of piss me off, but he's just hiding everything.  He's not transparent at all.  If your one of those people who say well I like him because he's not like every other politician, your right?  He's worse... he hasn't shown us anything... we know very little about him, really....  and he's getting a pass.  This isn't someone who's worked for the little people.  He's a 1%'er.  People say they like his frankness well in everything that matters there is no frankness... it's all just words.  He's a con man.  Who uses scary words to illicit fear in individuals.  Nearly every thing the man has said is done so in a tone that says follow me and I will lead you to the promise land.  He's like a cult leader.  With words like, "Trust me" "Believe me" and " I know more about Isis than the generals" he proofs it. Check out the video below for more of  Trumps most outrageous lines.  If you can honestly say this is the man that you want for your president, the person to run our country, to be our Commander in Chief well then you scare the crap out of me too. Because, he's not even a man I would want to be my mailman... let alone my president.

My girl...writin' bout my girl.

I just wanted to write a little something about my daughter Emily.  I know I already write little somethings about her all the time on here.  But I really find her to be such an amazing person and I just want to take the time to try and convey some of the ways she is,  I'm sure I won't even do her justice.  But here goes.  She is such a loving person.  She respects everyone. She is a friend of the LGBT community,  she believes in equal rights for everyone.  When she finds out someone is gay, she's like... that's AWESOME! She believes people should be WHO they are, and loved for it and if they are gay...well that's just great!   She cares about what's going on in the world.  She talks to me about world events, especially the ones she believes are unfair and social injustices.  It truly bothers her.     I'm proud to say that she is my daughter EVERY SINGLE day! She always cares about doing the right thing.  That's not to say that she doesn't make mistakes, she like the rest of us, often does.  An often used quote of mine is... there are erasers at the end of pencils because everyone makes mistakes.  The most important thing is to admit them and grow from them.  She sometimes isn't forthcoming, I think that's just a maturity thing, she's a teenager after all.  She is trying very hard.  She always tries very hard.  Right now,  one of her most favorite topics is how proud she is that Hillary Clinton could become the FIRST female president, she so wishes she could vote!  She also doesn't like Donald Trump and rightly thinks that he would make a horrible president because among others things, she says he's a bigot because of what he has said about women, Mexicans and Muslims.  She is very smart. Emily has always done well in school and from the start of school until about 7th grade never really needed to study.  Now that she's in high school and advanced classes, it requires more effort from her.  It took a while for her to understand that it didn't mean she wasn't as smart it just meant the courses were getting a lot tougher. Even so, she has never gotten less than a C on any report card ever & up until 7th grade she had never gotten less than an A. She is funny.  I wish more kids could understand that she is super funny.  She has this quick wit about her, and every year it gets a little quicker.  I wish that everyone could see her the way she is at home when she is truly comfortable with you.  But she is shy when it comes to making friends.  It is easier for her to talk to adults than it is for her to talk to kids her own age.  Another issue is she often times wants to talk only about what interest her, and we try often to explain that friendship is a two way street, if someone doesn't feel like you care about what interest them they are not going to want to be your good friend.  It's more of an indifference than her purposely being rude.  She has always struggled some with social issues.  But has made great strides there as well.  We often discuss ways that she could try and make friends.  We sometimes do role-playing.  I say... Imagine I'm a girl sitting in the cafeteria and you walk up to me, how could you start up a conversation.  We go back and forth. She says she is trying in school, but it's hard because everyone already has friends, I think the kids are kind to her,  but are not really friend friends with her.  I think another part of it is that she is a loner.  I don't believe it bothers her too much either. At least that is my hope.  It probably bothers me more than it bothers her.  I think this comes in part from being an only child & having hobbies that are solitary.  Like reading and writing.  She started reading around age 3.  I know it was before her third birthday.  I remember at her 3rd birthday check up she was reading a book and her pediatrician brought in all the nurses so they could see her.  He didn't believe it and we had to proof it to him by giving her a different book because he thought she had it memorized. She's almost sixteen now and books are still a big part of her life, but no longer the biggest part.  Music is now.  She loves music and writing songs.  She also loves BROADWAY especially musicals.  She writes musicals, the one she is writing right now is already 200+ pages and has her own original songs in it. Although she is very smart her favorite class in school is theater arts.  She is a very creative type person.  She loves singing.  She and her daddy do car- pool Karaoke often.  She loves the classic rock band RUSH, and the heavy metal band DISTURBED.  But also likes songs from Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, One direction, Billy Joel and many more.  She knows all the words in Billy Joel's song, "We didn't start the fire" and unlike everyone else I know doesn't get tongue tied while singing it.  Music is a big escape for her.  She listens to music EVERY chance she gets.  There are so many wonderful things I could say about Emily.  She isn't perfect but she is to me.  She is honestly the most amazing person I have ever known and I honestly can't believe she is my daughter.... well our daughter.  The time is flying by, so I'm glad I have this blog to have recorded some of our memories. For her to look and see that this is how I feel about her, and to remember all the things she was into back when she was 15.  She is the greatest blessing in my life, I love her more than  I could ever adequately express and every night in my prayers she gets top billing.

A fresh start... or should I say.. A sophomore start! ;)

So Em's been in school for a couple of weeks now.  She's a sophomore.  It's going really well thus far.  It's been a completely different start to the school year than last year.  A lot less stressful. Hallelujah!  Last year there was a lack of communication from her middle school to her high school and they were not aware of Emily's 504, which as you can imagine led to some concerns from her teachers. mainly one.   So last school year just started out on the wrong foot.  She also had a big adjustment as a freshman and it took a bit of time/learning to get the hang of things.  But she's doing so great thus far this year... She's keeping up on her assignments, and just has a better understanding of High school.  She's working so hard and liking her classes, especially Theatre Arts.  She loves that class!  She still has an academically challenging schedule but so far so good.  YAY! Keep up the great work Emily!  We are very proud of you. xo.  Keep it up girly! You are a rock star~~~~~~ ROCK STAR!  LOL!  Anyway, what else? Well I went out to lunch w/ my BFF today Danielle,  we had a nice time.  Went to Bertucci's.  YUMMY!   It was nice catching up.  We used to go out so much more than we are able to know a days.  Her kids are involved in so many activities and between both of us working sometimes its weeks before we get to see each other.  So it was great catching up.  Brian just got back from a quick trip (left Saturday morning... & got home Sunday night) to Oklahoma.  His brother Rob is turning 50 in a few days so he & a few of his friends were going to see THE Ohio State Buckeyes take on Oklahoma.   Rob knew that his mom and aunt were coming but had no idea that Jim (younger brother) and Brian (oldest brother) were going to surprise him there.  Anyway, from the pictures they had a great time!! Rob apparently had no idea that Jim & Brian were going.  His friends were able to keep him at the airport (apparently their flight from Ohio) arrived before Brian/Jim's from NJ and they were able to stall Rob without him getting suspicious, and when Jim and Brian both came down different flights of stairs one shouting "O H" and the other screaming "I O" I'm told it was a pretty cool moment.   Rob said something like, "Hey that sounds like my brother!" and then,  "That sounds like my other brother!" lol. before turning around to see them.  Pretty cool, huh?  Anyway just wanted to jump on here and share some of these memories with you all.  Hope things are going well for you too. :) Fingers crossed.

Cigars in heaven.

Brian's Uncle Nic passed away, on Thurs 9/1/16.  He had a massive stroke and was rushed to the hospital, where less than 24 hours later he passed.  I know it's a good thing that he didn't suffer for too long at the end, in a way he'd been slowly suffering for a while, his health had been declining for several years, he had at least one other stroke that I know of, and so it wasn't a complete shock, but it's still very much a sadness.    When Brian & I first started dating, one of our first "real" trips was to the Florida Keys for me to meet his favorite aunt, his Aunt Barbara, and her husband Uncle Nic.  I found them to both be so kind and above all incredibly generous, with their love, thoughtful gift giving, but most importantly with their time.   Nic was a "story teller" and some may have found him a little long winded & maybe even; I say this in the most loving way.... a know it all.  But I never really thought any of that.  I don't know if it was that I grew up the way I did, w/ little world experience, but most of his stories fascinated me,  also for me, it was the first time I'd heard them.   He spoke foreign languages, and had worked in US Government, in some capacity, with at least one president of the United States if I remember correctly.  I definitely know there was a picture of him in his home office with I believe, Bill Clinton!  He always knew the best places to eat.  He & I shared a love of "food". Well, that first trip was just the first of many visits with them over the years, many Uncle Nic stories and they have always been some of our favorite people to visit.   I have been told that Aunt Barbara is doing well.  He didn't suffer and that she finds comfort in that, and he had been slowly declining.  So I'm not sure for her it was too much of a shock.  Although I'm sure it's going to be hard adjusting to a life without her love.  For me,  things I'll remember about him,  were his love of food, his love of cigars, his love of captaining his boat & his love for his wife.   In the last several years, he had very much slowed down and mostly as I was told & saw, didn't follow the advice of his doctors, wasn't active enough, still ate the wrong foods, slept too long, & generally just didn't do himself any favors.  I could tell during our last visit to New Mexico, where they live now, that he had given up a little.  His stories weren't quite as long, his mood not quite as happy as it used to be,  he didn't quite have the luster for life, he once did.   So it was sad to see.  His death was truly a "blessing" in a way.  To me, it seemed anyway... he seemed a little sad that he couldn't perhaps do what he once had done.  Like I said previous,  he wasn't really good at following the "rules" but I'm pretty sure that he did stop smoking cigars the last several years, probably more at the urging of his wife than for his own good, but still...So,  I hope that there will be one really good cigar waiting for him in heaven.  One last smoke.  or maybe one first smoke, who knows, maybe those things are ok there.  I have a feeling though, he'll be meeting so many friends and be sharing too many stories to care, and doing so all pain free.  That's my hope anyway.  RIP Uncle Nic. Thanks for your kindness and the love you always showed me.  You'll be missed.   xo

An Ice Cream Tradition, is the best kind!

Just took a nice walk w/ Emily, maybe a mile & 1/2 both ways down to the ice cream stand and back .  We usually do it a few times each summer but this was the first for this year, so I'm glad we got it in before summer ends.  I'm not ready for it to be over.  I know it's going to happen whether I want it to or not, but this summer seemed to fly by.  Anyway... We had a really nice walk.  Emily ofcourse was doing her "pokemon hunting" as we went but that's ok. She's into pokemon go. I'm not sure if I said it already on my blog, but Emily has said about Pokemon GO, that the rest of the world is finally catching up to her.  She was an original lover of Pokemon for many many years already.  I had to laugh,  because she's right.  Every now and then we'd say stuff like aren't you getting a bit too old for that? Her response was always No! Now I see grown adults playing pokemon all the time at rite aid.  I guess she was right...lol. Anyway... we are lucky to have an ice cream stand within walking distance of our house.  The coolest thing is that it also is a Produce place with a fresh salad stand as well, so we always get a salad first which is soooo yummy before we get our ice cream.  A little good to go with the not so good.  Life is a balance after all.  Throw in the walk and I'd say we still come out a little ahead in the health department... lol. .Anyway,  the weather in NJ is beautiful today.   I hope it's nice where you live too.  Happy Day friends!

Movie Review, "Brooklyn"

Well I caught this movie on television the other day.  I remembered when it was in the theatre, thinking this could become a "Missy Movie".  So I was excited when I had the opportunity to watch it.  First off... it's kind of a simple story of a girl named Eilis who's leaving Ireland in the early 1950's to come to America, to live in Brooklyn NY.  Brooklyn was a popular place for immigrants from Ireland to come at that time.  She is encouraged to go there by her sister Rose, who talks w/ a catholic priest originally from their small town who now lives in Brooklyn and he agrees to help Eilis.  You see, Rose has found a career in their small town in Ireland as a bookkeeper but can see her sister having to settle for a dull life at a job at a store w/ a tyrant boss with little future for Eiis if she stays in Ireland.  She doesn't want that for Eilis.  So Eilis travels to America by ship, which is an adventure itself, she develops a horrible case of sea-sickness.  When she gets to Brooklyn, she is lucky in some ways as the priest lines up a job and a place to live for her, so in some ways she has it much easier than most immigrants coming to America for the first time,  but that doesn't mean that coming to America is easy.  She is terribly homesick and lonely.   She writes letters to her sister Rose as a way for them to stay connected.  Then one day she meets Tony at an "Irish" dance.  Tony is Italian.  But he tells Rose that he, "likes Irish girls."  Tony is a sweet charmer and quickly becomes Eilis's boyfriend.  They fall hard for each other.  Eilis is the happiest she's ever been since coming to America.  Just when she's settling in to her life in America.  Tragedy strikes back in Ireland, and she has to make the tough decision to return to her home land.  Tony is worried she won't come back so he ask her to marry him, one of the best scenes in the movie is when she says can't I just promise?  He says if you can promise you can do.  So she says yes, and they have a quickie wedding at the justice of the peace.  But they tell no one.  I don't want to give too much more away but I will say this,  this movie while a simple story is rich in characters, my favorite kind of movie.  Everyone is excellent in their roles.  Eilis is played by Saoirse Ronan wonderfully.  At times, she speaks soooo much without saying a word.  I loved her also in The Lovely Bones.  The funny thing was I knew I knew her but couldn't place her the whole movie.  I believe that's a credit to just how good she was in this movie.  I also really liked the actor who played Tony, Emory Cohen.   He was so genuine in the role.  The whole cast is fantastic,  from his spunky little brother to the crotchety store keeper back in Ireland.   Well DONE!  Like I said these simple stories with great characters that are relatable, are my most favorite movies.  I really liked this movie and if you like movies like it, you should definitely watch it!

DISTURBED CONCERT!!! We had the BEST time! 7/31/16

Why are they drinking his kool-aid?

Is it just me?  Are there others that are astonished that some people you respect in many ways are supporting Donald?  I'm trying to remind myself that everyone is entitled to their own opinions but I'm honestly SCARED at the idea of this man becoming our commander in chief like I have NEVER been before, because duh... I care about our country's future, especially because my daughter deserves to live in a world free of hate, she's so worthy of a world that's beautiful, kind, caring, safe, and respectful.  Because that's all that she is.    In some ways I'm impressed because I have never before seen so many republicans speak out in favor of a democrat candidate and then I wonder why others can't see it. Because honestly...(saw this on Twitter)....  in your guts you know he's nuts. Please reconsider. Please don't let your pride in your party blind you to his incompetence.   Please.  Respectfully, Missy

My husband's poem he wrote yesterday

"When something is bothering me, I write. I always have, and probably always will. This is what I wrote today:"


My perspective’s split between two views
Of how ...the world could be
My right side perceives a version,
The left just doesn’t see.

My mind strives to reconcile,
Seeking commonalities,
Yet is stifled by the prospect
Of this stark dichotomy.

To the right a shroud of darkness,
In which echoed gunshots scream,
To the left the warmth of sunlight,
And the glow of hopeful dreams.

To the larboard side the people
Stand behind a wall of fear,
Wondering where the dangers lie,
Are they far or are they near?

The people on the dextral view,
Face their neighbors unafraid,
They offer hands of friendship,
Coupled with empathy and aide.

The differences seem obvious,
There’s one thing very clear,
One view is based on hope and love,
The other hate and fear.

Perhaps we’ll one day realize,
What truly makes a people great,
When we accept a truth that children know,
Love always must trump hate.


By Brian Roach
7/27/16

#DogProblems = #DoggieParentFrustrations

So pissed right now at my dog Cooper.  He has this horrible habit of barking at EVERYONE & EVERYTHING!! He was "blessed" with a POWERFUL bark and it scares people.  So I was taking him outside to do his morning duties and I didn't realize the post man was walking up to our yard.  Cooper starts barking and he's on his hide legs.  He's so strong, that I can barely keep ahold of the leash & the poor mail man is so scared and I can't blame him.  Because Cooper looks like he's vicious,  when the truth is he's excited and would probably just run over to him,  cower to him and let him pet him- perhaps maybe jump on him out of excitement.  But the situation isn't allowing me to calmly explain that, nor at this point would the mail person probably believe me.  So it's very frustrating and I'm trying to wrangle Cooper back in the house, meanwhile, the postman says I'll leave your mail here where he was standing, finally after several moments which feel like really looong minutes I get Cooper back inside.  After about 5 minutes of being inside I think it's safe for me to take Cooper back outside because the mail person is way at the end of the street.  So Cooper and I go back outside,   he's looking around for the mail man and doesn't see him so finally Cooper goes about his business.   Then all the sudden I see the post mans truck coming up the street because oh no... he has to deliver packages & he has to deliver them across the street, we are on the side of the house, we are at the end of the street but the neighbors house is directly across from our side yard.  SO Cooper starts barking and acting like a maniac again.  I can barely control him.  But I'm firmly telling him to SIT.  Which Cooper does. briefly.... then back to barking, SIT, he does for a second then back to barking... etc.   The power to bark is toooo strong for Cooper & he's still looking like he'll bite this guy's head off.  Anyway, I have cooper sitting but have a hold of his collar part of his leash to try and gain a little more control.  All the sudden Cooper wiggles out of the collar and starts darting across the yard,  that's when I practically have to slide tackle him to not have him go running across the street.  I'm on the ground, which is wet and muddy and I'm stunned that I actually got to Cooper in time. I don't know where the power or strength to catch him came from and as I'm sitting there struggling on the ground to hold onto him.  The postman is trying to tell me sumthing from across the street, by pointing his arm at me and finally after he pulls infront of our house I understand that he's saying he has a package for us.  Oh BROTHER! Cooper and I are still on the ground, I'm trying to get the collar back around his neck again.  and it's a struggle to keep him from coming at the postman.  I'm sure my actions didn't ease the postman's comfort because I'm treating Cooper like he is vicious, but I don't want the postman to be afraid of my big running dog so I'm trying everything in my power to just get Cooper to stay, as the postman is getting closer and closer it's getting tougher and tougher to control Cooper's desire to get over to him.  Really frustrating... anyway I scream... Leave the package there!!!!! I'm not sure if I thanked him or not.  Finally he leaves and I manage to get the collar around Cooper.   I love Cooper but he's definitely a handful at times and I'm so embarrassed by his behavior.  We need to get him some more training, obviously.... but money is tight right now, thanks to an unexpected large bill.  The truth is Cooper is a really great dog, and we love him to death and he knows lots of commands but this barking thing is crazy.  Whenever we order food to be delivered, we have to put Cooper in his crate or he's rattling the picture window in the living room trying to get to the delivery person-& his bark is soooo loud!  I'm sure it's out of trying to protect us, or atleast that's what I'm telling myself but enough is enough.  Someone once said let the person pet him but he sounds so mean that it is hard to explain that to someone in the mist of his barking/acting up...  Anyway just needing to get this off my chest, and writing this has eased my anger at Cooper.  I momentarily felt like I could have killed him.  So I needed to breath & in this case write it down.  I'm sure after a while I will read this post and laugh but right now GRRRRR.... Any suggestions on how to help us with Cooper...  I'd happily take them. Thanks for listening!! :) 

How do you get cool parent points? Take ur kid to see DISTURBED-in CONCERT!

Emily is going to her first EVER concert on Sunday July 31st AND we are getting serious cool points as parents because she is going to see DISTURBED!! Yes,  the heavy metal band from Chicago!   She is sooooo totally excited!!  We are actually all going.  So I've been listening to a lot of Disturbed lately, in fact earlier today Emily's like what?  cause I'm in the office listening to Disturbed music, and she rushes down stairs to inform her daddy that, "Your wife is listening to Disturbed music upstairs and she's totally into it!".  Actually although I'm not generally all that into Heavy metal.... I really do like this band.  I'm not like Emily & Brian "into" this band,  Emily can sing probably every song they've made word for word.  She loves them!! Here's a funny story about just how much she loves them, earlier this summer we were over my aunt Barbara's house and we told my cousin Tiffany that we were going to see Disturbed in concert and she was like, " what do they sing?" of course Emily rattled off like 10 of their songs to which Tiff still looked a lil' confused so Emily put one of their songs on youtube, and started rocking out to it.  Head banging... and singing in this tough sounding voice, to which Tiffany just stared at her and said, " OMG!! She like becomes a different person!!"  It's pretty awesome! I must admit they are really good.  So I'm beginning to kind of get excited myself!  I'll post more after the concert, but wanted to mention it so I don't forget to post about it later! 

I think therefore....

Love you Sis

Most every night I remember to say prayers.  I'm not a religious person but I believe in God.  Whomever or whatever that may be.  I don't believe every word or even most of the bible.  After all I believe it was just written by men.   But I believe things happen for reasons and prayers are sometimes answered without an explanation as to how.  That's my proof of the god I believe in.  Sometimes things happen that you can't explain.  Good & bad... I've seen them both.  But when I needed a power greater than me,  I believe my God helped me get through it.  But that's another story for another day.  So far, from reading this, I'm sure you are wondering why I called it, "Love you Sis".  Well I have a sister her name is Mary.  She is 4years older than me.  Sadly, we aren't very close.  But at night when I say my prayers she is always right there, included in them.   I wish that we were closer.  But we aren't.  I'm not going to lay blame as to why we aren't or who's fault it is, sometimes, it just is how it is.  Life. Circumstance.  It takes two to tango and neither of us has our dancing shoes on.   But she's my sister and I love her very much and she's with me in my thoughts, and my prayers EVERY SINGLE DAY!  She is loved. I just want her to know that.  I know that if my mom was still here she'd be upset with us for not being in each other's lives.  I'm sorry Mom.  We tried in the beginning.  I don't know how or exactly when it went astray.  But I love my sister.  I guess we were close when we were very young, but during our teenage years we went in a little different directions.  My sister moved out of the house when she was just 17 or 18.  We've had periods of being closer but not ever super close since.   A lot of it has to do w/ circumstances.   Often I think about it with guilt and other times I know it takes two people to make any relationship work.  My sister has two children, they are now grown, and I believe I was a good aunt to them.  Or at least I know I tried really hard to be a good aunt to them.  For a period when they were teenagers they would spend almost every weekend with me.  So I tried. Also I tried to be there for her when she really needed me too.  I think I was.  I hope I was.  I think if I knew we were trying now I would feel less guilt about our non relationship.  The thing is nothing really happened.  We didn't get into a fight.  There's been hurt on both sides for different reasons over the years I imagine. I can only speak for myself.  I see it only through my lens but I think mostly we just stopped trying.   I'm not proud of my part but sometimes it's easier.  and I know nothing great in life is easy.  but yet we keep doing the same old same old anyway because I think we're both tired and it's easy.   Life is complicated enough and sometimes you just do what you feel like you can.  It's kind of pathetic I know.  But I'm here to express my real and it's what's I think.  BUT.... What is most real?  Is that I love my sister.  Even though at times I'm sure we don't understand each other, or we are not able to maybe express our love or our hurt.  Love will always triumph in the end and that is the reason for me writing this.

Complicated

Me & you we're complicated
Our love isn't always ideal
The picture perfect fairytale
isn't always life being real

We've been together a long time
Most of it's been great
But I'd be lying to say it all has
So I'll set the record straight

Sometimes I feel like the last on your mind
Instead of the first, or second
Love is harder than I imagined
I guess I was being naïve I reckon


I'm flawed and nowhere near perfect
 But in your eyes I hoped you see
A more perfect version anyway
Cause I cant imagine a you without me


I want to be your everything
Your morning and your night
Your vision of me wouldn't be
Of anything less than all right

Wishing nothing more than each to see
The gifts we have to give
Why we fell in love
And the way we still can live
6/28/16

Summer is HERE.. Hallalujah!

Well Hi all... so much has happened since I last posted. Obviously, since that was in April!  We had another successful March for Babies.... thank you everyone who helped.  We raised over $3,200.00 for them again this year!   WOW!  Emily successfully completed her first year of High school.  What a doozy.  All in all she had a great year & while her final semester report cards will be mailed to us, so we don't exactly know what she got.  We believe she did really good!!  Last look at her grades for 4th marking period... she had a B+, C+ (honors geometry was killer) and 5 A's (3 of which were in other HONOR classes.)  High school brought many new experiences and hopefully some much needed life lessons for Emily.  She was in her school's spring musical,  The Little Mermaid.  Which brought her a new love for Broadway and also allowed her to get to know and friend many on the cast.  She was in the Disney club, and has discovered a whole new level of love for Disney.  She now really wants to go back to Disneyworld.   We haven't been since she was 5.  I'm not sure how we can swing it, but I really hope we can get there soon.   Was so hoping we could have her sweet 16 there.  But since Brian got a new job, he probably won't have the time to take off.  Bummer.  Plus it's so much money.  But I'm still holding out hope.  Maybe we'll win the lottery.  LOL! This school year was filled with many highs and a few hiccups as well.  BUT..... I'm extremely proud of Emily this year because she had a really tough academic schedule, managed to fit into that a serious commitment to the musical, and had to navigate just being in a new school environment which is tough for all freshman- let alone someone who has some special needs.  This was the first time in a new school that Emily did not have an aide to help her on day 1.  She had an aide for all of elementary school & for the first year of middle school.  But this year, she was completely on her own.  Which is AWESOME but still it was a bit challenging at times but that's why I'm so proud of her.  She did it!!!  Her high school is pretty big with about 300 students in her freshman class alone- it's also two stories and had many more classes.  She had to manage 8 classes and keep a rotating schedule so each day would be different.  So that's a lot to manage for any kid.  I was overwhelmed myself at back to school night when we had to follow her schedule to visit her classrooms but then again, I've never been much for directions...lol.  Even with all that,  she never got less than a C on her report card this year and that was only twice in Geometry.  She did fantastic in English I-Honors and World History I-Honors and in fact she did so well that she made honors in both again next year!  She also made the accelerated programs for both Algebra II & chemistry as well.  (which is a step up from a college prep level).   For Emily the toughest challenge she faced was just being organized and prioritizing.  I think this is tough challenge for a lot of freshman.  We worked hard to help her.  We got frustrated at times but we as her parent's also learned a lot too.  We learned that sometimes we have to listen a little more as parents and have a bit more patience.  We also learned that Emily still needs help w/ prioritizing & we tried to give her guidance on that.  At times Emily's grades would fluctuate not because something was toooo hard but because she would forget to hand in assignments.   As you can imagine that was frustrating especially after the 5th, 6th 7th...20th time we talked to her about it.  It's not always easy to not get frustrated and we had to have a lot of "discussions" with Emily but we eventually learned some strategies to help her. For instance one of her teachers suggested a "homework" binder this way all of her homework assignments could be in one place & at the end of the day she would have everything in that one binder.  This helped.  As did getting her used to looking at the computer portal & seeing what assignments were due & when.  It was hit or miss depending if the teacher's actually imputed them but it was also a tool to use.  All in all I think Emily did learn a lot this year and much of it was bigger than the grades she got.  Which in no way were bad grades but for Emily they weren't what she was used to, and that brought some tough days for Emily.  As I like to say... it's all relative.  Emily has always gotten A's pretty easily so for her to see a C on her report card... that was upsetting.  By the end of the year we all learned what was really important and getting a C in a really hard class wasn't the end of the world. We also were seeing improvement in the areas that mattered the most & that was HUGE.  While Emily still struggles in some social areas she also made some leaps and bounds in that as well.  She had a very social class called Theatre Arts, which did a lot of working together in groups.  They did a lot of improv and "who's line is it anyway" type of things.  I think that class helped her a lot in just interacting with other kids.  Some kids wrote some really great things in her yearbook like, "You made Theatre Arts AWESOME!"   When you see things like that it makes you realize there are a lot of good kids out there!  I'm not going to sugar coat it,  this year was tough at times.  It was a lot of being on top of things & really trying everyday to help Emily realize the bigger picture and how learning these skills we help her not just now but in the future.  SO... anyway.... I think we were all really looking forward to summer this year & as fast as Emily is growing up I don't wish for the time to go any faster but this year was a bit of a doozy and I think we could all use the break, especially Emily.  I'm hoping we have a great summer!!!!  Of course as a high schooler... Emily has two books to read, and two other summer assignments as well but those can wait a week... for right now let's just relax a little...& have some fun!!  lol.  Anyway... I hope you all have a fantastic summer as well! xo

PLEASE help me to help babies born too soon! If u are a mother or a father imagine not having been able to hold your baby for weeks because they were too fragile... & that's just the start of a preemie parent's pain... lets help parents not have to go through the heartbreak of losing that time/experiences because their babies are in the hospital, not to mention the possibility of lifelong disabilities associated with premature birth or worse yet losing a baby they really wanted because they were born too soon. Please. So many have helped me in the past and I'm asking for your support again for the ‪#‎MarchofDimes‬. TY!!!!!

www.marchforbabies.org/meliwil

We are marching again... #MarchforBabies

Please help our family's team (#TeamEmilyCR213- in Gloucester County NJ) raise money for the March of Dimes.  This is our 14th walk, We walk because our only child Emily was born very premature (14 oz and 14 weeks premature), and we know that without the March of Dimes fighting and funding research/programs she may not have had the chance to survive.  We are extremely grateful to the March of Dimes and reminded each day with our amazing & healthy now15 year old daughter.   We walk each and every year to remind others of the fight for the most tiniest and innocent among us, together we all can end premature births! THANK YOU!! Please donate to our team.  I'm not asking for much if you could donate any amount, may I suggest $5.  I know if many give a little in the long run we raise a lot.  Think of it, March of Dimes originally started by asking the American citizens to send in dimes and they funded the research and scientist that found a cure for Polio!!!  


 www.marchforbabies.org/meliwil

Emily in.... The Little Mermaid

Here are a few pictures of Emily & a few of the stars of her school's production of The Little Mermaid.  Emily was quite the actress/dancer in it too. She was a "fish" dancer in the "Under The Sea" ensemble.  She was a featured "waiter" singer in Les Poissons.  She was also a fish in "Kiss the Girl" ensemble scene and was in the finale.  SO proud of her.  She absolutely loved being in the show.  Right now she's at the cast after party.  It was so weird to drop her off and leave her at the restaurant, with instructions to call us when she's ready to be picked up.   She's growing up. 

Dear Teacher: Heartfelt Advice for Teachers from Students

This B#tch is back! :)

Well I'm back... I know it's been a while since I've put out anything on this blog.  Life has been so busy.  I'm working alot....well... for me anyway.  4 days a week.  So between that & just generally life stuff, it's been difficult to find free time to write.  But I'm home all alone at the moment.   Brian's doing some work stuff & Emily is involved in her school's musical & is at practice tonight.  She's only a freshman so I've very proud she tried out for it.  Her school is putting on "The Little Mermaid'' next month.  She's in the ensemble.   It really requires a lot of responsibility & I'm proud of her for sticking with it.  Not only do they practice a couple times a week but she has to keep her grades up.  Speaking of High School... Emily's doing really great!! It's not been all easy.  It's a big change & it was a big adjustment for Emily but she seems to be finally getting the hang of it.   In fact a few weeks ago 2nd marking period report cards came out... Emily made first honors!  Which means that she got all A's & B's.  WOW!  She did well the first marking period too, she made second honors.  Which means that she got all As, Bs & one C.   She's in all honors classes & the work is TOUGH! So I think she's doing great all things considered.  Her main issue really is not turning all her assignments in.  She does well in class & mostly well on test but then she gets a big goose-egg grade for missing an assignments.  I'm not sure what exactly the issue is.  I honestly believe it may have something to do with her "absence" seizures & perhaps missing some of what the teachers say.  I also think it's probably Emily being a day dreamer & not "focusing" so well either.  I'm sure it's a combo- thing.  We are working on some new "ideas" for her to try & we are hoping it improves.  So far this marking period aside from missing one assignment in World History-Honors, she's doing pretty good in that department.  Knock on wood.  High school is a big adjustment for all of us.  Emily being our only child, we've not been through this before. Well aside from when we went to high school... Trust me though..... It's a lot different than when Brian & I went to school.  Hell... we had "typing" class... you know on "electric" typewriters.  Shit since Brian is 8 years older than I am, his may not have even been "electric"...   LOL!  Nowadays... everything is online. Meaning resources, report cards, etc  Which I've found helpful & not so much.  It's nice the school has a "parent portal" for you to have access to how your kids are doing, but if the teacher doesn't input it in a timely matter... what good does it do.  Often times they put in an assignment AFTER it was due.  We are trying to help Emily & have her check on there but if it doesn't show up, it's not much help to her/or us.  It's not all bad though & some teachers are very good with it.   It's definitely nice, I just wish it was a little more reliable though, I guess since teacher's are only human... I'm sure they are trying their best.  What else?  Let's see... work is going pretty good.  I really really like everyone (for the most part) I work with, but earlier this year we found out that another pharmacy wants to buy our company.  Ugh... i swear it never fails, every company I ever worked for was bought out or sold.  I was hoping that would not happen at my current job since they've been around for quite a while.  My luck.  Anyway... right now we don't really know anything.  It's in the "early" stages & i believe nothing is "official" yet.  Or atleast that's what we've been told...I just hope they don't give us the he-ho without any notice.  I wish this new company would be our parent company & we could just stay the same.  But that probably won't happen.  Our store is really close to one of their stores so I can't imagine we'll be a store spared.  It sucks cause I love the location of our store.  It's close enough to walk to & like I said everyone is great! Fingers crossed it all works out. As they say though "Que Sera Sera... what ever will be will be!"  So I can't really worry about that too much.  On a depressing note... today I got the invitation to my 25th High school reunion.  Talk about feeling old. WOW! I don't really think I'm going to go,  I went to my 20th HS reunion & while it was nice to see everyone.  It was also a whole lot of awkward.   Not a feeling I love since pretty much that was high school for me. Been there done that. haha.  Alright I guess I'll go. I have to go to the grocery store while Emily's at practice.  SO it's about time I get going.  Hopefully I update sooner next time.  Take Care everyone!