Merry Christmas to ALL!

Hum Drums.... Don't know why?

I've been feeling a little depressed lately. I don't know why really, just having a hard time getting in the spirit this year for Christmas. Maybe I'm missing my mom a little more than usual. I don't know. I feel a little bit better tonight then I did yesterday. I'm listening to Bing Crosby... maybe that's helping. I also went out shopping with Danielle and had a nice time... maybe that's helping. We decorated ginger bread cookies today... maybe that's helping. Maybe I'm just ( like Brian reminded me to do ) thinking of Emily and how much joy she gets out of Christmas and it is bringing me out of my funk. I hope. I want to feel like I usually do... that Christmas Magic feeling. The feeling you get when you look at twinkle lights on a tree. The feeling of listening to Christmas Music- the peace it gives you. The memories that you get out of Christmas music has always been one of the things that fills me with happiness. I WILL BE HAPPY. I WILL BE HAPPY for my daughter, myself, and my family. I WILL BE HAPPY AND FEEL THE JOY OF THIS WONDERFUL TIME OF YEAR. I WILL... THAT's IT! Good, now that that is handled. Let me just fill you in on what else has been going on. I am mostly done all my shopping-- just a few little loose ends to finish up. stocking stuffers and the likes. I need gifts for people who we got gift cards for.... I always like to give a little present with a gift card to make it seem a little more personable. I really hate giving gift cards! But sometimes that is all they ask for and I don't want to get them something they aren't going to like. ANyway... Now I need to finish up our Christmas cards. I know it's the 21st now and they still aren't out but that's life. :) HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOURS!!

Untitled

Hello, Emily is home from school today because she is not feeling well. I don't think it's anything serious just a winter cold. She has been having a runny nose for a while but this morning she just seemed really tired and kept coughing. I think she may have had a fever too but I could not find the thermomemoter(sic) to take her temperature. So I decided it was better to be safe then sorry. SHe's watching TV right now and I just gave her pill (epilepsy) and some medicine for her cold. So I decided to write for a little while. The best thing for her is to probably rest anyway. We are doing pretty good with our shopping. We usually don't have this much done this early. We still have quite a bit to do but atleast it's better than usual. Yeah. Okay, I wanted this book called " An imcomplete Education" because I have always regretted the limited education I had. I want to feel like I have a mild knowledge on more subjects and events. so I asked for this book. I started reading it and it annoyed me from the get-go. Well first it is all about what you didn't learn in college, as if the only people who are concerned about learning more are people who went to college. It completely rubbed me the wrong way. Okay, so I didn't have the resources to go to college, that doesn't mean that I have no interest in bettering myself as a human being. I found it very insulting. I guess. Oh well, It annoyed me. But I'll still read the book. I hope!! Christmas time is so stressful. I've been trying not to be stressed becuase well I keep reminding myself that we are ahead of last year. Our Christmas tree was a total disaster. We usually have a fake tree, I like real trees better but they are such a pain. So we had this fake tree. When we went to put it up 3/4 of the lights would not work after multiple different attempts to get it too work and changing fuses and wires and such we gave up. We threw it to the curb just for our own sanity. SO we went out and bought a cheap replacement and when we got it home and put it up realized how shitty it looked so okay we went and returned it the next day. Then we decided okay we will go look for a better fake tree and realized that they are really EXPENSIVE so after poor Brian went to like 5 stores, he came to the decisions that we will just get a real tree this year and look after christmas when the fakes go on sale. I was thinking the same thing, so atleast we were on the same page. SO we went out on Sunday and bought a real tree. I decorated it on Sunday, Emily helped a little bit! But mostly I did it myself. Brian is not into decorating the tree at all. Oh well I am very critical of the tree every year. I stress and try so hard to make it perfect. It really isn't fun so this year I tried hard to just accept how it looked and I think it looks pretty. Yesterday I made a paper chain. I put it on the tree. It looks old fashion--- I like that. Anyway so we are "FINALLY" done decorating and I am VERY HAPPY about that. Yeah. Okay I"m tired of writting so I guess I'll stop. Happy HOlidays!! :)

Much better the 2nd Time Around

Round 2 Christmas shopping with Danielle. Much better. I actually have Brian pretty much done except for the "BIG" gift. I haven't figured out what to get him. But whatever was able to get ALOT done so I feel better about that. I'm working today around 11 so I can't write for tooo long. I have so much to do around the house but I'm not really feeling like doing any of it. Emily loves school so much she makes me smile. She still gets Giddy when the bus comes. We are SO LUCKY. I hope she is always this enthusiastic(sic) ***SUCK SUCK SUCK AT SPELLING*** about school. I wish I would have been then I would not SUCK SUCK SUCK at SPELLING. perhaps. Anyway, even though I got Brian's shopping pretty much done, We still have ALOT of people to buy for and it's making me a little STRESSED when I think about it. I am going out shopping with my Aunt on Thursday or Friday. So hopefully I can get some more done then. Anyway, still don't have our tree decorated or our Xmas lights up. We really need to get on top of that. It still the first week in Dec so it's okay. We just do them this weekend. I hope. Anyway, I better go and get my shower. I'll try to write more later. Peace!!

Lunch with Santa

Emily's school had a lunch w. Santa and a kiddie gift shop today from 11-2. So Emily REALLY wanted to go again this year, so we did. She had a blast but would NOT look at Santa. Whenever she is REAL excited about something she doesn't want to LOOK directly at it. But she still enjoyed herself quite a bit. Oh yes, and she did FANTASTIC on her 1st marking period report card. She got all A's. Well actually all O's since they don't give out A's anymore. O stands for Outstanding. I don't understand why they don't just keep it the same. A, B, C, D and F like it was when I was a kid. Seems much better to me. But whatever. We were so proud of her. Miss M (Emily's teacher) seemed wonderful at the parent teacher conference. She seemed to "get" Emily. And we like that alot. She understands how smart she is and also what areas she still needs help with. We felt like we were "ALL" on the same page and that was really nice. Here is a picture of Emily w. Santa today. She said, " He doesn't SOUND like Santa" I said, " Maybe he has a sore throat." :) Peace.

Hello Hello...

Hello, went shopping with my friend Danielle and realized that I have NO FREAKING ClUE what to get for people for Christmas. I better figure it out soon. I told Danielle I'll "TRY" and be better prepared next time. I went aimlessly through each store with out any ideas. I thought something would jump out at me but realized, That's not happening. Oh well, still have about a month left but when I think about everyone we shop for and realize that we only have a few things for Emily and that's it.. I'm a little freaked!! But we always manage some how. Everyone in my neighborhood has there Xmas lights and things up already. I personally don't like putting them up before Dec. because I get sick of looking at them by Christmas. I still want that warm and fuzzy feeling when I look at them on Christmas day and if I put them up too soon, I well, "Loss that lovin' Feelin'" what can I say been singing a lot of Kareoki(sic) lately. I totally need spell check on this blog. Because I suck. Anyway, Emily has 1/2 days for the rest of this week. It is becuase of Parent-teacher conferences happening this week. Ours is tomorrow night. So we shall see. :) Anyway, I need to try and COOK something for dinner we've been eating out ALOT lately so I definately MUST cook tonight. Maybe I'll make Chili. I think that is a good Idea. Okay, Well I'll go. BYE!

tOo MuCh

Hello.... Emily's bowling party was today. First off Emily had a terrific time and I'm trying to remember that is all that matters.... but only 3 kids from her class showed up and Madeline. So it was a little disappointing to me. But Emily had a nice time and that is all that matters RIGHT. Why would you RSVP and then NOT SHOW UP.... SO RUDE. I can't believe it!!! BUT WHATEVER... Breathe. Okay.... I'm also just in a bad mood because well I don't feel well. I have a head cold and just feel beat we have been so busy this week and all the planning for the party and Thanksgiving and parties and Pat being here... I'm just BEAT. Really. I guess I'll try and recover over the next few days, it doesn't help that I've ate and drank crap for like a week and feel really UNCOMFORTABLE because of it. I guess I'll go and try and relax finally.... OH and by the way.. I Can't Believe my baby girl is 7 years old... It's mind boggling... she was just a little baby and now she's such a beautiful big girl. I LOVE her so.

Thoughts of my Mom & Emily

Today is my Mom's Birthday. I'm thinking of her and wishing so much she was stil here to give me guidance when I need it.. like today cause Emily's not feeling well again and threw up again last night. I'm sure my mom would have a way to make her feel better. Some home remedy or get her a little present that makes her feel better like she did when I was a kid. I try and do the same thing for Emily. It meant so much to me when I was a kid and was sick at home... throwing up, or just feeling awful. She always made me feel better even when I was a grown-up (kid) I never was any good at being sick. My mom always made me feel better... she was very good at norturing. It was one of the things that made her a great Mom. I miss her so much!! So I'm sure she would help me so much with Emily. So I guess I'll just try and do for Emily what I thing she would have done for me. So Emily's in bed right now watching TV. Brian and I thought Emily was okay.... she hadn't thrown up anything since Saturday morning around 7 am. But I went in to wake her up this morning and there it was throw up in the bucket (I'm glad I left it in there!) I just want to make her feel better... and I don't know how. I hope whatever this is goes AWAY FOR GOOD soon. I hate when she feels sick. I just want her all better. So I told her she can watch all the TV she wants, as long as she takes it easy today. Blah foods, etc. I don't know what else to do. If she can't keep down food today I guess we'll call the doctor... we both(Brian & I) think that maybe she just went back to eating junk too quickly. Yesterday was the baptism for Joshua and since she had been eating and not throwing up for 24 hours she went to the after baptism Lunch. She had meatballs, pasta salad, and CAKE. SO maybe we just pushed too hard to quick. We are hoping. Going back to toast, crackers, broth and jello. AND OF COURSE GINGER ALE. My mom always gave me ginger ale when I was sick, so ofcourse that is what I give Emily. Mom knows best!!! I was planning on doing some work from home today but misunderstood and can't now. My friend/boss needs his computer all day so I have to do it tomorrow. Probably best since Emily is home and may need me. It's best when she is at school so I don't have disruptions. Josh's baptism went well. He was so good at the church. We had a nice time. I am officially a Godmother. Yeah!! Somehow it being so close to my Mom's birthday made it even more special... Emily's baptism was on Mother's Day... It's all connected!! I feel. I know she is watching me and maybe played a small role in when my friend chose the date. I think... It's what I choose to think and I really do beleive it too.

Alot happening...

Last night Emily was so sick. She must have got a stomach bug. She seemed fine when we put her to bed but at around 1:30 am she came in our room to say she had to throw up. What she meant was that she already threw up and still had to throw up. Poor girl. I felt so sorry for her. She must have thrown up like 5 times. Since we didn't go to bed until after 12:30 and we were up pretty much all night after 1:30 ... Brian and I are (as you can imagine)exhausted. Brian was really looking forward to today too because the BIGGEST GAME of the COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON was today.. OHIO STATE V. MICHIGAN. He also had wanted to get up early and work on the shed we bought which still needs to be put the rest of the way up. I'm getting nervous because we don't know how many nice days we will have left until winter really hits. Anyway,so they(Fernando and Brian)are working on it right now. It's getting pretty dark outside already(it's 4:30). I don't know how much longer they can go today. But atleast one wall is done. That's progress!! Emily is taking a nap which I'm happy about because she got so little sleep last night. She needed sleep. She argued with me a little about going to sleep and I finally told her that we would not be able to go on the Webkins website UNLESS she took a nap. That did it! She was asleep within 15 minutes and has been asleep since around 3:15 I'm going to have to wake her up soon if I want her to sleep tonight. Anyway, tomorrow is another BIG day. It's Joshua's baptism!! My GODSON. I feel so honored that they asked me to be his godmother. I am really taking it very serious. I hope we have a really special bond forever. I want to be the best Godmother to him! Whatever that means.. I guess just being there for him, always! That's what it means to me anyway always being there for him.. to help him and be a friend to him. So he knows I will always have his back, and mostly just love him. I know I would do all those things anyway but It makes it more special! Does that make sense? It's a commitment in my eyes, that no matter what I will be there for him in whatever ways I can be. I'm feeling a little emotional because it really is so wonderful that they have chose me! I feel very blessed about it!! So we have to meet at the church around 11 or so tomorrow. I get to hold him up in the front... I'm a little nervous about that. Danielle told me yesterday that his baptism outfit is really slippery so now I am worried he'll slip right out of my hands. Not really but the thought has crossed my mind, since she told me that. Plus I'm wearing heels and I'm not used to that. No, It's going to be fine.. I'm just going to stand real close to Danielle incase. :) Also next week is going to be really busy becuase my Mother in law is visiting and that always means lots of activities. She's only visiting for 3 nights and we have 3birthdays and Thanksgiving while she's here. It's a party on Wednesday nite, the day she arrives for our nephew, Then Thanksgiving on Thursday!! Then we are having a small family birthday on Friday for Emily and Brian. She leaves on Saturday but then we have a birthday party to attend for a girl in Emily's class and my aunt wants to have us over for dinner on Saturday nite. ON Sunday is Emilys party at the bowling alley. BTW... I feel a little bit better because 4 kids RSVP'd they were coming. Emily is real excited, although she is disappointed her friend Bryan can't come. Anyway... WOW so much going on. :) PEACE OUT.... Oh and by the way Ofcourse OHIO STATE WON!!

Tumble Bumble..

I could not think of a title for this blog. SO I choose this title because it was Emily's first favorite book. :) Emily's school has an Americanism show each year. The different grades preform songs about America and Patriotism. It's really nice. Anyway it's on Friday. Her grade sings "God Bless America". She's been performing it infront of us for the last couple of weeks. TOO CUTE. Brian & Emily's birthdays are both coming up. Brian's is on the 21st and Emily's is on the 23rd. I want to get Brian something nice but don't know what exactly... he has very expensive taste, when it comes to most things. We invited all of Emily's class to her birthday party so far only 1 child has RSVP'd so much for me worrying that "ALL" the kids would show up. Oh well, we'll try and make it alot of fun for Emily anyway... but I really hope that many more kids RSVP... they only have two day. It's not looking good. UUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHH!

Veteran's Day

Today, I'm thinking of our brave men and women who put on that uniform and fight and bleed and die for our country. I am amazed at their courage and astounished by their selflessness. I THANK THEM for all they do and sacrifice. I THANK THEM for their service and mostly I thank them for their bravery. GOD BLESS!

Oh my God It's 1:44 AM

I hosted a baby shower for my neice today. Had fun!! I'm Tired!!! Going to Bed!!

What's going On.....

I love that song by Marvin Gaye. I was thinking about it when I wrote the blog title. I think about the words to that song and the power behind them. So much like it is again in the world. Very Powerful, but I really wanted to write about what's going on in my life right now. My neice is going to have a baby very soon and I am not sure how I feel about the idea of being a Great aunt. I mean ofcouse I love it because I get to have a new wonderful baby in my life. I just wish I was just an aunt... a great aunt sounds so old. Yikes!! But it's wonderful.. truly. I need to do a really good cleaning of my house but I haven't been in the mood. I was briefly this morning so I cleaned by light fixture and the cabinets in the kitchen and stuff but that's about it I cleaned for about an hour and then I stopped and I have lost all desire to start again. Shit. Oh well, It doesn't matter because Emily is being really cute right now. She's playing with her baby dolls. She gave them baths in this plastic tupperware tub. Now she just told me she is going to have two babies and is writting a to do list on how to. IT's called, "How a baby comes out of a Mommy's belly." She is really into writting list of all kinds. SHe just said # 5- "the mommy gets so big that the baby loses all it's hair." It's so cute and kind of hysterical to hear her explanations! LOVE LOVE LOVE is what I feel.

Emily's halloween Costume

Here is a picture of Emily from halloween isn't she a cute JigglyPuff! She had a great time!!

Debate and self-education 60+ years after....

Okay so I watched the Democratic debate the other night. Well actually I didn't watch it on TV cause I forgot until there was only like a half hour left so I watched it on MSNBC.com the next day. I am not sure yet who I am going to vote for. I really like John Edwards and honestly feel that he has the most heart and I truly beleive what he says... so my gut tells me to vote for him but then I took a test on issues and it said I match the most with Barack Obama. Whom I like as well. I like both of them alot. But I'm not sure they can win the primary. I for some reason don't feel comfortable with Hillary Clinton winning the primary. I'm not sure why. Maybe she brings too much baggage, and I just am not confident that she can win the election and I really really want a democrat to win. Any democrat, I just can't stand the thinking of most of the republicans. I also liked the answers that Joe Biden gave at the debate. I don't know much about him and I will definately be looking into him, again can he win? I think that with all that is going on right now, with how scary every thing is that I just want a completely different approach. Diplomacy.. would be nice, not just a word but actual diplomacy. I want different thinking individuals in there, to lead us. I feel very scared! Today on my home page, a headline read, Pilot that dropped the bomb on Hiroshima dies, and I realized I don't even know much about Hiroshima. So I read an article and then I read another. I was reading these articles about what the bomb( and second bomb on Nagasaki) did and saw pictures of little kids with their skin burned off and I kept thinking " what had they done" What had those little children done.... my answer... nothing. I don't care what their leaders would or wouldn't do... we inflicted this pain, this death on innocent people and I could not get past that. I'm reading these articles and they are talking about the victims who survived the initial blast of the bomb but died within a week/a month or a year/s from the radiation. I came to the understanding, that I didn't know much about this. I realized how little I was taught in school about this time in our history. I realized how little I know and still know and realized I wanted to learn so I could truly know what it is I feel about this. I feel like my gut tells me how wrong bombing innocent people is and then I realized I don't know all the circumstances as to why we did it. Would knowing change my mind? I mean I understand Pearl Harbor and I understand that we asked them to surrender and they would not but was this the only choice we had. Our country bombed them with this new "Atomic" bomb and killed hundreds of thousands of people and today, I felt horrified. We did this. The USA introduced the nuclear bomb to the world. It happened 60 years ago and today I felt this. Today was the first day that I even knew a little about it. Perhaps when I was in school I had learned about this. But I truly don't remember--- isn't that sad?,that either I wasn't taught it. Or was so caught up in other things didn't realize it's significance. I wish someone could explain it in a way that I could understand how we "had no other choice" but to use an "atomic" bomb and kill all those people. I wish I could say well we had to. I wish I could express what it is I'm trying to say here, I wish I was more educated. I'm sure I look dumb, I mean how could I not know about this. I feel dumb. SO I'll try and learn more and that is all I can do. I'll try and figure out what happened and how I feel about it... just so I know the details so I can be educated about this, we owe them that... The innocent, all of them. Our soldiers and their innocent citizens. I owe them that, even if it was 30 years before I was born.

The Santa Note....

Here is a note Emily wrote to Santa. I thought it was cute, so I am sharing it.


Dear Santa,
I want Empolean for Christmas in Japan. Go
to Japan and get Empolean. I Love You Santa.
Have a good Day! I love You!
Love Emily


Ofcourse it was in pink marker and it included a map to Japan. :) Missy OH yeah, in case you don't know it.. Empolean is a POKEMON... Duh.

Update

Well I had a nice weekend. Saturday, we went to my friend's daughters 5th birthday. So that was nice and Emily had a really fun time. After that I went to Michael's ( u know the craft store ) Which let me just tell you isn't as good as AC Moore... It may be neater but it's not as good. That of course is just my opinion. For what it's worth. Then we came home and Brian went out to a sports bar to watch " The Ohio State" University KILL Penn State. He went with a friend of his that is an alumni of Penn State. So Brian had a good time, I'm not sure his friend had as good of a time. By the end of the game the announcers were calling Penn State's field... " the unhappy valley." Which I thought was funny. I stayed home w/ Emily and put the game on periodically just to see how it was going. Emily and I did crafts... no nothing we bought at Michael's becuase I DIDN'T buy anything at Michaels. But she was just in the mood to make crafts.... so she made me a card that said, " I LOVE YOU" and she made Brian a card that said... "Brian.. I'm one what fun." It was a picture of him as a baby. Don't ask me why she made him that but she did and it was cute. And today we just ran some errands and had lunch at Arby's and just did stuff as a family... nothing really exciting but it was still nice to just be together. You know one of those days. Oh also I'm doing a little project of stripping and staining what was my Grandmother's dresser and refinishing it. It's a lot of work but I think I'll be really happy when it's done. I'd like to do it since I don't really have a lot of things that were my Grandmothers. It's not like an expensive peice of furniture, but it means alot to me. We also started trying to plan Emily's Bday party. She has decided that she wants to have a birthday party at the bowling alley. It's a little expensive but we never really have ever had a party anywhere but our house and we figured it was a good time to do it, since she wants to invite the kids from her class to it. She is very excited about it and ofcourse it will be a Pokemon themed party.. since it's all about Pokemon right now. She's so into it. It's hysterical. She walks and talks Pokemon and she is being a pokemon for Halloween. I'll put some pics up of her in her costume. Oh yeah, my friend asked me to be her son's Godmother. I'm so thrilled about this. I love him so much! His baptism is on the 17TH Of November. I'm really looking forward to it. Mostly I'm looking forward to being a special part of his life forever and that makes me feel really happy. Anyway, thats a catch up on the weekend and what's been going on in my life. :)

Sleeping Beauty

Okay... we tuck her in, head on pillow, snug as a bug in a rug under her sheet and blanket. 1/2 hour later this is the way we find her. Too cute .... we had to take a picture. :)

Happy Anniversary

It was our wedding Anniversary on Saturday. Brian gave me 2 dozen beautiful Red Roses. Aren't they amazing! So sweet, we had a really nice anniversary.

If at first you don't succeed...

I've been really slacking about my commitment to drink 100 ounces of water a day. I haven't even been drinking 30 oz in the last couple of weeks. I think I didn't really see any results and I just stopped trying but I've decided to try again. SO... here goes, take two. I am feeling really committed and so I have already drank 20 ounces. So that is a good start. Anyway, Emily's picture day was today at school. She is so pretty. She was wearing a cute little brown and pink shirt and pink pants. She was funny this morning because her best little friend Bryan was on the bus ( He doesn't usally ride the AM bus ) SHe was so happy when she saw him. She climbed right over him to sit right next to him and inbetween him and some other little boy. It was really sweet. Bryan is so sweet to Emily. When Emily didn't have her one on one to help her with things, it was Bryan who helped her open her pudding, cheese sticks, etc. We would ask her who helped you today and she would say, " Bryan". I told his mother that when I saw her at back t0 school night. How sweet her little boy is and to thank him for all he does. It is so sweet. I hope that the sweetness the kids have right now doesn't go away. I listen to other parents and find out from their experience how mean kids are and we thankfully haven't had to deal with it. I still think kids in general are really kind and compassionate. Last year when Emily was a little "different" from the kids. They are rallied around Emily and really helped her. Her Kindergarten teacher who we really liked ALOT. Told us at the first parent teacher conference about how the kids were all helping Emily to not walk on her tippy toes and they would all say... " Emily- Heels down" in a really supportive way. She said the class eventually would say it her when ever she would wear her heels and she had to stop wearing them because of it. I loved that story and that the teacher was nice enough to share it with us. I just hope when the "cool" factor really sets in that the kids including Emily will not judge each other but will be friends with everyone. I truly hope for that. Because wouldn't that be great! Anyway.... I guess I'll go make the beds. My other goal make my bed EVERYDAY. I'm trying. TGIF, Have a nice one!!

Talky writey BLOG.

Don't really know what I feel like writing about today. I guess I'll just talk/write and see where it takes me. Emily has a cold but thankfully hasnt had to miss any school. Our friend Brian left this morning. It was fun having him stay with us. Last night we all went to Red Lobster. Is there anything better then their butter/cheddar/garlic biscuits.... OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO. TOO GOOD! I may have to add them to my favorite things list. Truly. YUM! Just finished reading Rosie's new book. I really liked it!! It was a very easy read and I like that since I'm not much of a book reader. Brian got me one to read and then also an autograph copy for me to keep.. Okay he scored major browny points for that. I had asked him to get me one for Christmas but he gave it to me early and said it was for our anniversary.... Cool! Well we are gonna just have pizza for dinner since I worked and Brian worked today, I don't feel like cooking and the only thing I was thinking of maybe making was ham steaks and Brian didnt want them so we settled on pizza. Cool beans. Two nights of not having to cook dinner, me like. It's not that I can't cook, it's not even that I don't like to cook. I just don't like doing it EVERYDAY. Anyway, this is a very boring blog but what can I say. I'm not really in the mood to write but I wanted to try so I did and this was it and that is that. HA... anyway have a nice day!!

Tub Cleaning...

I'm in the middle of cleaning my tub.... waiting the 2 to 3 minutes I need the cleaner to sit on the soap scum, lime buildup, etc that has occupied my tub for too long now. DISGUSTING... I know. But what can I say, If I was rich I could have someone do it for me but since I am not I wait until guest are suppose to arrive before the major cleaning gets done on my tub. So sue me. Atleast I care enough to not make my guest deal with it, just my family. Oh and let me just tell you it's 11:00 PM. BUT I can't sleep so this makes sense to me. Our good friend Brian is coming to spend 2 nights with us because he's here from Colorado on Business. We are happy to have him. But it means I have to clean my tub.... thank god for guest becuase it's atleast the push I need to give it a good cleaning. ANYWAY.... tub is cleaned. Now I am cleaning the shower liner in the washing machine..... becuase even though when we bought it said on the package... Resistent to MOLD. IT ISN'T. I guess I'll move on to a different topic becuase this blog may just be too graphic for some. Anyway, poor Emily has been having a slight fever.. it comes and goes but right before bed tonight was 101.2 so I'm hoping going to bed early and taking some children's tylenol will help. Becuase she's had it for about 3 days now and I'm starting to you guessed it WORRY about it. It wasn't real high any of the time I took it but I just wished it would go away. She doesn't have any other symptoms, well actually tonight she had a little bit of the sniffles. I really don't want to keep her home from school again because it would be her 3rd or 4th already and she's only been in school for a little over a month. But what can you do if she's sick she's sick. You know. Danielle's daughter had the same thing last week starting with a slight fever and then turning into a cold. So who knows. I just am hoping she's fine in the AM. PLEASE! Dispite the fact that Emily was a little under the weather, we managed to have a semi- nice weekend. We got some stuff done, well atleast started, around the house. Brian, His brother Jim and My brother Fernando had to dig a hole and frame it out for the concrete we need to lay for our Shed we are putting in the back yard. My bro in law brought our nephews over and I watched them for him while he helped us. They are such cute kids... one is 4 and the other is 10. They were very well behaved and I enjoyed spending the time with them. The older one is into Pokemon so he and Emily have that in common. Which is nice since all her cousins that are young are boys, they may not have wanted to play with her if she was a girly girl. She has enough cars, bugs and dinosaurs to easily entertain any boy. Emily is pretty well rounded when it comes to toys. She has the baby dolls which she likes to play with. But also loves the more "boy" stuff too. She's a very cool kid. If I do say so myself. I can't beleive she will be 7 years old in November. It's just going so fast. I was telling Brian that I am happy that I write about her in the blog. Becuase she can look back on it and really get a sense of what kind of kid she was. I could some it up in "Amazing" but now she'll have proof of it. Hopefully from the little snippets on this blog she'll understand that. I hope so anyway. Well I guess I better go to bed soon... Oh yeah I have to stay awake atleast until the washing machine goes off since otherwise Brian will not have a shower liner in the morning. But I guess I'll go read. I'm reading Rosie O'Donnell's new book. I am still completely addicted to her blog.. it's amazing. Go visit it if you haven't.... it may just change your mind about her. I think she is just great. REAL... she shares so much of herself on it. For me, it's like a friend I never met but feel like I know and understand. WIERD.. I hope I don't sound like a wacko. Oh Well... Whatever. I'm gonna stop writting because I'm beginning to feel tired like I might just be able to sleep and I don't want to lose that feeling. Okay.... well GOODnight. Missy

Yet Another Cute Emily Tale.....

Emily was doing her homework. Since she is very capable of doing it alone. I pretty much let her do it all by herself and then after she is done I will check it. So the first part of her homework had like 20 pictures of things on it, like one was a LID and under the picture would be a L_ _ and she had to fill in the missing letters. Okay.... so she does that in like 10 seconds and at the bottom of the paper there are 3 squares and under the squares there are 3 words.... KID MITT and HILL... She has to draw what the words are. So she draws a Hill, she draws a MITT and she draws a BABY GOAT. TRUE STORY... Okay.... Now I tell you, how smart is my "kid".

A Book Review

Well I've been reading this book called, "Me to We". It's a very interesting book. It was written by two brothers who started a non-profit organization when they were very young. One was only like 12 or something when he read a newspaper article about child labor. He decided to do something about it and started.... Free the Children-A non profit organziation. It's about essentially what they have learned since then from various individuals and experiences that have taught them essentially about trying to live Me to We. Instead of thinking about oneself or ones life only thinking about how your actions/choices affect the world, your society, and your family and neighbors. It's about thinking more globally and consciencely. It's funny because while I "TRY" to read self-help books... I usually rarily get thru one. I am finding this book different. It's an easy read. I figure if I can take even a few things away from it and try to incorporate them into my day to day life then it will be worth it. It's the little choices that we make in life that can have profound results that we arent even aware of. I really do beleive that!! The book also makes you think about people that have helped you in your life... who really impacted it but maybe they aren't even aware of how much they have helped you. Maybe letting them know. Taking time to do something nice for someone and not being TOO busy. Just basically trying to be a better person. I would really love to try and be a better person. I think everyone could strive for that. I hope this blog doesn't seem to preachy. I wasn't trying to be preachy. It's just a very inspiring book that I would recommend to people who are trying to find a little more meaning in their lifes. Well, That's all folks.... Go buy the book or borrow it from the library like I did. :) Peace Out!!

Today

I guess I've been in the mood to write lately. Because it's only the 6th of October and I've already written like 4 blog entrees for October. I'm impressed with myself. Although it really doesn't take much to impress me in general. We had a nice "family day" today. Our friends Danielle and Tom invited us to go bowling with them. The "girls" were so cute bowling. They both threw, pushed and literally heaved that ball down the lane( they both are only about 35-38 lbs) CUTE. It was fun. Before we went bowling we did some yard stuff. We bought a new shed and it'll be delivered next week so we had to tear the old one down. A tree fell on it last year and it was completely destroyed. THE MICE that occupied it... were quite perturped at us for tearing down their house. Brian and Fernando are currently watching THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY football game. I think they are killing Purdue so Brian will be sure to be in a happy mood. YEAH!! So since I'm not really too interested in watching it.... I decided to write. One kinda neat thing that happened tonight was that I saw someone that I graduated from High School with at the bowing alley. She was in the very next lane. I went over to her and I'm not sure she recognized me at first. She hadn't changed a whole lot from HS. She has 3 kids---all girls and even though we weren't super good friends in school.... we were sorta friends. So it was nice to see her. It's amazing I haven't really seen too many people from my school after graduation even though I really don't live that far away. It's like you would think we would run into each other from time to time but no. I think I've seen like 3 people since 1990 when I graduated. REALLY... isn't that weird. Maybe it's just weird to me. I don't know. I'm not sure what we will be doing tomorrow. Our town is having their annual "Pumpkin Festival" tomorrow and we had been planning on going but Brian has to work tomorrow. I was going to pull Emily in the wagon and walk up to it but it's going to be like 88 degrees tomorrow and I'm not sure I want to walk considering how HOT it's gonna be. Can you beleive it? It's OCTOBER and it's 85-88 degrees outside. GLOBAL WARMING PEOPLE..... it's real!!

Just Stuff.....

Well Hello, I forgot to mention it because it's been such a difficult couple of weeks with wondering about Emily and having to go see the neurologist and everything. But I finally quit the deli.... YEAH! I'm so happy. It's just such a thrill not to have to think or stress about working at a place I disliked so much. I mean it wasn't the people... it just wasn't want I wanted to be doing. I mean if I'm going to be away from my family, I want it to atleast be something I like doing. You know, anyway, I'm really happy about it. Plus I think I'll be getting a few more hours in doing the bookkeeping for my friend's business. So I feel good about that. I can still contribute to my family and actually enjoy the work. Anyway, my neice is pregnant. I'm going to be a Great Aunt. OH MY GOD, I never actually thought about that until this very moment. OH MY GOD. Okay, now I feel really old. I'm looking forward to meeting the little fello though. They found out they are having a boy and it's due around my Mom's birthday. It would be really cool if it was born on her birthday. I think my Mom would have liked that. My neice and I have always been really close but over the last few years we've drifted apart some. I hope having the baby brings us together again. She's a good kid but I do worry about her. I just don't know if she knows what direction her life is taking. I'm not sure any of us know that for sure, but especially when you are only 20... it's hard. Atleast her boyfriend seems like a decent guy and is sticking by her and the baby. But they are both so young, maybe the baby will force them to grow up some. Either way, I love her with all my heart and I hope everything works out for them all. It's almost 11 pm so I should probably go to sleep. I've been having to wake up earlier since Emily started school. I've always been a late sleeper and I'm usually up around 7 now. So I'm just now getting used to it. So I guess I'll stop writing now. Peace OUT!

An answer!!

Okay... We just got back from the Neurologist Appointment for Emily. She has "Absence Seizures" Epilepsy. She apparently had 2 seizures during the EEG. So they were very comfortable with the diagnosis. She will be on medicine and hopefully it will control them. It's another thing, but it's manageable and I feel okay about it. I mean I wish she didn't have them but like even the doctor had to admit, " She's one of those miracle micro-preemies." Having Absence Seizures doesn't even have anything to do with her having been a premature baby. It's just one of those things, that some kids have to deal with. It shouldn't cause any major changes in her life, and it should not really interfere too much with her day to day. She may have them but we'll get thru them. She's still her happy go lucky self!! Although, she did not like having the EEG done and had a minor meltdown but she was better about 1/2 way thru. I'm so relieved that it's diagnosed and that we have an answer to what's been happening. Brian and I, knew it was "Absence Seizures" and we just needed a doctor to tell us for sure. BUT for me until they told us, it could have been something worse so it's just a relief to know for sure. I'm just so thankful!! Thankful that Emily is fine, Thankful that she is my daughter, Thankful for everything in my life!! TRULY. GOD IS GOOD!!

The Amazing, Magnificent, Divine Miss Em.

A cute Emily story........ This morning I'm lying in bed, knowing Emily will be waking up soon. I'm just lying there, not really trying to sleep, just resting and EMily comes bouncing in my room, and YELLS.... "BOOKFAIR! BOOKFAIR! TODAY!!! TODAY IS THE BOOKFAIR AT SCHOOL!" Which is followed by a squeal of delight... that one can NOT help feeling her joy from. THAT'S EMILY..... summed up. Completely delighted by the bookfair at school today and the joy she feels knowing new books are coming in to her life. What isn't to love about Emily.... What isn't to feel joy about having such a child. A delight!! My God, I am lucky!!!

I saw a beautiful Blue Jay yesterday.

My life is so full of stress right now. I feel like I am going to explode. I read somewhere you should write down one nice thing you saw or did each day to help when you are stressed out. Hence, the title of this blog. Oh, and by the way.... that doesn't work!!! We are very worried about Emily right now. We noticed starting last week she was having these moments of being "out of it" it's like seizures that only last 2 or 3 seconds, (initially we thought she was just extra tired from going to full day school for the first time). Sometimes she blinks her eyes or her eyes will roll backwards. SHe seems not to notice, she even did it. So ofcourse we got on the internet and tried to figure it out. It fits perfectly with something called, "Absence Seizures". SO we took her to her pediatrician last night. He thinks it sounds like them as well. We hadn't told him that was what we were thinking also, until after he said it sounds like them so he wants us to have Emily get an EEG and see a Neurologist. I am really worried, I just don't want Emily to have to go thru all of this. I know that she needs to, and she will but it's just very difficult. She's her happy go lucky self and she is totally unaware that she is even doing something that is causing us concern. We've questioned her, like EMily what just happened and she's like, What do you mean?' It's hard to see your child for even the briefiest moment.... " Out of it" unaware of what is happening. It's so unexpected and so uncontrolled. It's scary. I also am hoping that it is not anything more serious then the "Absence Seizure" becuase they don't cause any long lasting affects on the child and some children even out grow them by the time they are teenagers. She doesn't have any other symptoms and she is acting just fine. It sounds weird-- I am almost saying I hope she is having Absense seizures. No, I wish it was nothing but I know it is something because I've seen them so I am hoping it's nothing more serious then them. We LOVE Emily so much... it's hard to know that she may have Epilepsy of some kind. It's a very mild form but it's still another thing. A hardship I can't take away from her and make all better and that truly hurts my heart. So if you happen to read this, please.... say a prayer for Emily.

Just another political rant...

I find it interesting that the "help" our government gives to our own citizens is thought of as a bad thing by some of our citizens. But the majority of the people that are against programs like welfare, dairy subsidies and even healthcare are the same people who are for the war in Iraq. That's it's okay to invade a country and "help" the Iraqi people, even if they don't want it. Even if it means killing thousands and thousands of innocent people. There was no direct threat to America from the country of Iraq. The terrorist in Iraq and other countries.... yes, but we should find the terrorist through intelligence ... not by fighting innocent people and their country. I am not saying that our government run programs are perfect, but some of the reason is because they are for people. And people are not always honest or good. Do people take advantage of Welfare, sure..... Could some of these people find jobs...sure but maybe not enough to support their families... maybe they are stuck. Maybe there are even people who just don't care.. but should we hurt the people that really need it because of a few bad apples. I don't think so. My mother had to go on Welfare for a little while when I was a kid...was she proud of it... no. She did it because she was a single mom trying to raise her kids and the jobs she could get didn't pay enough for her to pay rent & put food on the table. When she was able to, she got a better paying job and was able to get off welfare. That's how it should work.... but the system isn't perfect. I'll admit to being naive, I'm not highly educated but I beleive that we should help our own citizens and then help the people of the world and not by killing them. I have a great respect for our soldiers, it isn't them making the decisions to go into war. When they get there they have to do what they can to help, do the job they are given, and protect themselves and they are remarkable. I have the utmost respect for them.... honestly, and I want them to come home to their families. Just my thoughts, they aren't worth much but they are what they are. God Bless our Soldiers and the innocent.

The GOD blog

I have never been a very religious person-- I guess when you don't grow up going to church..... the idea of God doesn't come easy to you. I didn't know what to believe for a long time, and I guess there still is the tiniest part of me that still doesn't. But mostly I believe in God. And I believe in GOD, because of Emily. When my Mom was so sick with cancer, I thought there is no way I wanted to believe in God--- how could he allow this? I was angry--- so angry and I just wasn't sure I wanted to believe in a God who allowed things like this to happen. I mean my Mom was a good person. I guess this is how alot of people feel when tragedy occurs. Then something happened, it wasn't PLANNED, or thought of, but I became pregnant. Not to go into a lot of detail about how it happened, but Brian and I were not doing "it" very often at the time. Because well to be frank, I was devastated about my Mom's illness and I thought at the time, it wasn't the time for intimacy. I think we figured out only one time in the period of time it could have happened---- and we didn't do anything different as far as birth control was concerned. We were just as careful. SO, it was a BIG SHOCK to us when we learned I was pregnant. I mean SHOCK!! I was never a girl who thought about having children and wasn't even sure it was something I wanted to do in my lifetime. I thought being an aunt/friend/mentor to children would be enough--- so we were initially uncertain about it. But that quickly changed for me after the initial shock wore off, and I started thinking about the BIG picture. Maybe it was divine intervention. Maybe this was God's plan..... and then I began to have problems in my pregnancy. My job was stressful and my Mom was sick and I just couldn't control my blood pressure.... pretty much from the beginning of my pregnancy things were not going right. We all wondered privately whether I would lose the baby. It didn't help when the triple screen came back positive for spina bifida--- it ended up being a false positive but it was an even more stressful couple of days/weeks until a ultrasound confirmed Emily would NOT be born with spina bifida. I was so worried and stressed and I couldn't stop worrying, but somehow I made it to 24 weeks and at this point was schedule for twice weekly appointment to have my blood pressure checked and to check on Emily. It was a Thursday night, Nov 16th 2000--- when during one of these appointments, My Obgyn said I needed to go to the hospital and that I could have the baby as early as that night. I was freaked--- Brian was in Boston and so my Mom drove me to the hospital. I wasn't willing to accept it--- I was arguing to myself the whole time. " I feel fine... I didn't need to go to the hospital... Blah blah.. " I was in denial.... I couldn't lose Emily... I LOVED her so much already and the hope I received from her.. hope for my Mom as well. I managed to stay pregnant for another week..... and on Thanksgiving Day 2000, they performed a C-Section, and Emily was born. So Small... she could easily fit in the palm of a hand. She was 14.7 ounces, not even 1 pound. SHE had little chance to survive, but she did. Her life is a miracle--- of that I'm sure-- But it was one day of all Emily's hospitalization that I've had the closest thing to feeling God in my life. She was a couple of weeks old and developed a very bad infection and the doctors called us in for a family meeting. We went into a private small room... the docs, a social worker and the nurse who had Emily that day. The doctors told us that we should think of letting Emily go. WHAT?, a million things went thru our heads------ I remember just speaking... saying whatever came to my mind.. I remember most everything I said. I remember saying to the doctors, " I don't want to be cruel, I don't want her to suffer... But " I remember saying, " we read that it could take weeks to beat infections like this and she had only one dose of medicine" The doctors explained how it was one more thing on top of everything else. But I didnt care what they were saying. I knew it wasn't the time and I knew Brian felt the same way.. then I remember saying, " You may know the statistics on millions of baby's but you don't know the spirit of this one- of Emily" and I remember saying, "If God does this, if he takes my Mom and my baby... I'll never again believe in God" I remember so clearly saying this.. I remember it like it was yesterday.. I have tears streaming down my face as I write this... it is so raw still. The doctors, and others left us at this point, to think and determine what we wanted to do, they said the decision was ours to make. I remember, Brian saying, " F*C* YOU GOD YOU CAN'T HAVE HER" He was shouting and cursing and punching the air and the walls and so angry. I felt a peace come over me and I said, "NO- Don't" We comforted each other. We knew we were not ready, but more importantly we knew Emily wasn't ready to give up. We both calmed down... we both relaxed a little. We felt comfort... I felt God. I can't explain it, I just know he was there, I know he answered our prayers that day. Emily still had a long road ahead of her and the 176 days of her hospitalization were the hardest of my life. And while I wish so much that my Mom was here to share the joy we feel with Emily every day. I know Emily was God's gift to us and to my Mom. My Mom received so much comfort from Emily in the last months of her life. She knew it too. My Mom told a friend of hers that Emily was here to take her place. SO when my life seems difficult and I doubt a greater power.... I have to remember that day... when I am sure of God.

Forever-A Jersey Girl

You know you're from South Jersey if...


-You don't "go to the beach", you go "down the shore".*
-You've had arguments over Cheesesteak quality.*
-You or one of your friends have Lyme Disease. *
-You don't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.*
-You know what a Wawa is, and know the location of at least 10 of them.*
-You know that you should get the heck out of Camden before dark. *
-You know how to successfully navigate a traffic circle.
-You say "water" "wudder".*
-You've almost fallen asleep on the parkway, NJ turnpikeand I-295
-You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters, blizzardsand fires, but have never seen a tornado, earthquake or volcano.
-You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a WarnerBros. creation.*
-You have mandatory recycling. Enforced by law.* --- GO JERSEY
-You've made a meal out of Tastycakes, Herr's BBQ potatochips, and Taylor Pork Roll. * YUM
-You know New Years is all about the Mummers and the Polar Bear club
-You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. *
-Route 206 doesn't freak you out at night.
-You know that people from the 609 area code are "a little different"
- You know it can be -10 degrees and 70 degrees in January in the same year.*
-There's a fruit and vegetable stand down the road.
-You will always say "YO", and you'll say it often.
-You go to another state and sit at a gas station wondering when the people will come out to pump your gas.*
-You know that no matter how much they put into Camden
waterfront Camden is still Camden.
-You think North Jersey is a different state and South Jersey deserves its own secession.*
-You have season passes to Great Adventure.
-You know where Olga's Diner is on rte 70.
-You are tired of people not believing you're from Jersey because you don't have a New York accent. *
-You drive by a farm every time you get in the car.
-You know what "jimmies" are and refuse to call them anything else.*
-Your neighbor is either a painter, a plumber, a builder, or an electrician with a work truck in the driveway.
-You have crossed all 5 bridges into Philly at one point in your life.
-You have a story about the "Hell Hole" ride in Wildwood.
-You took your report card to Clementon Park for freetickets.
-You know what funnel cake and water ice are and thinksomething is wrong with people who refer to them as "frieddough" and"slush".*
-You've ever driven around aimlessly for hours with your friends saying "So, whatta we doin?"
-You ever drove all the way to the shore just to walk around for 5 minutes then drive back.*
-You know of at least 3 bars where you know they wouldn't card you.
-You lived near a "crick" not a creek.*
-You never could figure out which was the Black Horse Pike or The White Horse Pike *
-You know that a "Yield" sign is merely a suggestion.
-You don't think you have an accent. *
-Everything is "twenty minutes away". If you ask how long it takes to get any place in South Jersey , the person always says, "about twenty minutes"..... To get to a mall, "Oh,about 20 minutes". To get to the airport, "Mmm, about 20 minutes." To get from Runnemede to Philly, "Only about 20 minutes". Try it.Only the shore areas take more than "twenty minutes". They'reusually "an hour and twenty minutes."*
-Every time someone in Hollywood makes fun of Jersey ,you're mad and proud at the same time** So true!!
-You describe where you live in reference to what exit you live closest to on the turnpike.
-You know all of the "back roads" to get everywhere and
prefer them to the expressway.



My Aunt..... another born and raised Jersey Girl sent this to me. My favorites I marked with a *.... I am very proud to be a "JERSEY GIRL"

Busy Week

Okay... WOW, it's been a really busy week. Well, after getting back from the wedding in Ohio on Sunday, Emily started First Grade on Monday, Sept. 10th. I worried and stressed all day on Monday and as far as we know she is doing really great. Although, Brian and I are both a little pissed because Emily hasn't gotten her one on one aide ( we don't think Emily will always need a one on one aide but we think for this year, she does- due to her size, social skills and physical balance issues, etc). The district called on the Friday, before school started to tell us they are still in "The Process of interviewing, and fingerprinting various individuals to be considered for the position... blah blah blah and bottom line still don't have a aide for Emily" We had a meeting in MAY with the school and was promised one for Emily. We've talked to the principal, who has assured us he is putting pressure on them to get her one ASAP and that they are keeping extra eyes on her. I feel like, you better because if anything happens to my daughter, there will be hell to pay. You can count on that.... and I don't even want to think about what Brian might do. I mean beleive me I want her to have a trustworthy person and while I appreciate all the screening they do, I'm not convinced that it's the reason. They just dropped the ball is really want I think. But having said all that, Emily seems to be doing really good. We ask her every day," How school going.." and she says, " Great, I LOVE it... " We haven't gotten ANY notes from the teacher. SO we are assuming that is a good sign too. We are also gonna go to "back to school night"on the 19th, and will talk to Miss M, her teacher, that night to make sure. Anyway I'm done ranting about that for the moment and I'll get back on the issue of our busy week........Tuesday, I went to breakfast with my friend, and I worked at my book keeping job, On Wednesay nite we went to the mall, because Brian needed a suit-- we got one at a really reasonable price, and last night we went to a concert. We saw Flogging Molly and Dropkick Murphy at Festival Pier in Philadelphia. It was fun but we had to stand for the whole concert because there was NO seats and I felt really OLD, at 10:30pm we were ready to go. I had to babysit at 7 this morning and Brian had to get up to go to get blood work done and then go to work after. So, like I said it was fun, but we can't hang like the youngens. HA HA.... Ahh to be young again. Well I guess that's all folks.. hope y'all have a nice weekend!

Emily B-- First Grader

My daughter is officially in first grade!! I'm a nervous wreck... she's a trooper. It's her first "Full day" school experience and I'm feeling very anxious. She's NEVER been a way from me for this long... I'm serious. She's almost 7 years old and this is the most time away from her I have been. I guess I'm going to have to get used to it--- she's going to be doing it for 12 more years but oh my God, this first day is tough and it's only 10:50... I still have til 3:30. I don't know how people do this. I think I worry more about her because she's so little. There was a little girl at the bus stop that was going into kindergarten and she was a least two inches taller then Emily. I think I worry because I am a worrier by nature. I want to not worry, I try not to worry but I still do. It's very difficult. But I'm going to try not to. I'm going to try and keep busy and do stuff around the house. That's it... That's what I'm going to do.. I will not worry. Yeah right!! Anyway, on to other news ( atleast so I can try not to worry) we went to Ohio this weekend. For Brian's cousin Niki's wedding. It was nice but I couldn't help feeling rushed the whole time we were there, I mean go here, do this, Okay remember to breathe. Okay.. drive 8 hours, go visit family, get dressed, go to rehearsal dinner, go to bed, get up do stuff, do stuff, do stuff. I can't even imagine how Brian's grandmother who is 93, did it all. I mean I am 36 and by the end of the first day was exhausted. IT was not relaxing in the least and it was ALOT of time in the car, eating shitty food, being bored and just feeling shitty becuase of it. I also had the stress of knowing that after 8 hours in the car coming home, we still had to get Emily's school lunch stuff bought at the store for her first day of school. So I just felt stressed the whole time. I can now say, I'm glad that is done and over with. I am glad we went and it was nice seeing our family and being there for Niki's wedding but I'm glad to be home. Okay... I am going to go and try and keep myself busy. PEACE OUT PEOPLE.

Happy Labor Day!

Hi out there~~~ It was a really busy nice weekend. On Friday, we went out to dinner at the "Cheesecake Factory" for my birthday. The food was very good, though a bit pricey for my liking. AND OH MY GOD..... They did not have a kids menu. It wasn't like it was a french restaurant or something. It seems family enough, I just really did not get that. But otherwise it was very nice. Brian spoiled me for my B-day and that is all I am going to say about my presents..other then to say that I lOVE YOU Brian and Thank you. On Saturday, we went to my Aunt Barbara's house for a BBQ-- it was nice, a gorgeous day. Emily likes everything about BBQ's except the food. SHe doesn't like HOT dogs, hamburgers or Chicken. But otherwise had a nice time. I worked at the deli on Sunday~~~ enough said. Sunday wasn't my favorite day of the weekend. Today, we went to a Labor Day BBQ at my best friend's house. Emily had a really nice time there as well. All in all it was a very nice family weekend. I would write more about it but our stupid keyboard is broken and it isn't typing the D's. I mean eventually it will but you have to hit the D button like 20 times for it to type and then it goes ddddd and you have to backspace to get rid of them. I just wrote six lines about why I didn't want to type more and did anyway. Oh that was stupiddddddddddd. ( see what i mean-annoying) i will have to write stuff without D's. ;) okay well bye.

Birthday wisdom, from Mom

Today is my birthday and I'm 36. I have always found birthdays a tad depressing. I mean not always but since I turned 27 I have. I don't know why 27. But for me that was the #. But, I've tried to look at it differently ever since my Mom died... Let me share some wisdom from my mom with you. The last few years of my mom's life when she was battling her cancer. She would say I LOVE BIRTHDAYS... because It means I lived another year. Every year around my birthday when I'm feeling that feeling of oh no another birthday. I can hear my mom saying these words to me and it makes me want to try and remember that I should NOT be sad about turning another year older but be happy and celebrate another year of my life that I lived. It isn't always easy. I mean I don't like getting older but it is true, I'm lucky to be here. I need to remember my Mom's wisdom this day and let it remind me of how terrific my life is and how lucky I am to be living it. I'm gonna try and Mom, I'm remembering you today as always and loving you so much!!

my Artwork

CAMPING FUN!

Here are a couple of pictures from our camping trip we took over the weekend. We all had a really nice time. Emily had so much FUN, as you can see!! She LOVED the bears!!

Emily's Artwork

Emily drew this Pokemon, named Bulbasaur. To the left is a image we swiped off the web, and to the right is Emily's version of Bulbasaur.

She drew it 8/19/2007. Emily is totally obsessed with Pokemon now.

This, That and What-not

I haven't updated in a while and so I decided to write something. I don't know what but I guess I'll start by saying. We are going camping this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. I hope Emily has a really fun time. Swimming, playing and outdoors... it should be fun.We rented a little cabin and this is the first time we've gone camping with Emily. Brian, Emily and I are going, Fernando is staying home to have the house to himself. I understand. He's 21... he's not interested in camping with the family. Oh well, I wish he was going but atleast we don't have to pay for a kennel for the dogs. We have 2 dogs, Bandit and Smokey. Bandit is a pug and about 9 years old. Smokey is a keeshond and around 8 years old. They grew up together and are like best friends getting old together. It's sweet. We started school shopping for Emily. We are pretty much done. I can't believe school starts in like 3 weeks. It's too soon. I'm not ready for Emily to be in school for almost 8 hours, every day!! I'm really not. But she is real excited about going to school again, so I put on my Mom face and "act" happy too. I just worry about her while she is there, like every parent I'm sure. Will she be save and happy today? It's so scary this world. You know, but I can't think like that. I'm trying. Anyway, we got her a lot of cute clothes. We still have to get all the school supplies. I lost the list. Oh brother. I don't remember having a list when I went to school. I mean you used paper bags to cover your books and you needed pencils and a notebook. THE END. Nowadays they have specific items. It's a tad stressful. I still am doing my 3 jobs. No, I haven't quit the deli yet. I was close a few times but haven't done it yet. I had a conversation with the BOSS guy and voiced some of my frustrations. He's like, " I understand, ...blah, blah, blah, ....... but my hands are tied." Okay........ so that's just great. I'm still there, bottom line. It sucks!!! On to better things, I'm watching the kids tomorrow... so cute. It makes me happy to do that, and Emily loves playing with Madeline, she's 4 and adorable. A very good match for Emily. They are like ying and yang but it's perfect. Because they learn from each other. Josh is 4 1/2 months old. He's getting so big and just such a sweet baby. I am enjoying him so much. I've been watching them pretty consistently for the last several weeks. Usually once or a twice a week. I usually do the bookkeeping once or twice a week. And I work at the Deli once a week. It keeps me busy and I do like that. It's boring to just sit at home and do the same old, same old----and earning some money is nice too. Feeling like I contribute. Brian's been really busy with work lately. He has this project due and they are putting the pressure on him to get it done. I hope he is able to relax while we are away. Our last family vacation didn't go so well, I am hoping this one goes better. It should. It's not as elaborate and sometimes those are the best kind. You know... you can relax and not have so much to plan. Unlike those vacations, you need a vacation from. Everyone has had those. Anyway, that's about all. I will try and write more often. PEACE.

An Interview with Emily-Age 6

Who is the President?
"George Washington"

What is his job?
"HELPING PEOPLE!!"

Who is your favorite person?
"Bryan" (one of her classmates)

Why?
"Because he helps me"

What do you like to do?
" Read books, play with toys, play games and get packages"

What grade are you in?
"First"

What is your favorite thing about School?
"playtime and Math"

What do you want to be when you grow up?
"A fireman, and a teacher and a doctor and a baker who bakes LOTS of yummy treats"

Why A fireman?
" Because I have to spray hoses"

Why a Teacher?
"Because I want to teach someone"

Why a Doctor
"Because I want to help people and give them bandaids"

Why a Baker
"Because I want to bake a cake"


Thank you Emily.





August 13,2007

Love.. and a little anger thrown in for good measure

So I totally had the plan to go into the deli and quit. I've been off for two weeks and that just confirmed it, I need to quit. I am much happier when I know that I don't have to work there. I only work on Sunday's and even that I can't bear. So I went in there on Sunday and was going to quit. I get there and find out that 4 people were fired and 2 people they hired never showed up after the first week. Should tell you something right? But because I'm nice and too concerned with what other's think. I decide not to quit on Sunday. I should have, it's what I wanted to do. But I didn't. So, know I still have to think, worry and stress about doing it. Why am I like this. I worry, and fret about things that I know are NOT worth it. They don't care about their employees so why do I CARE about them. I shouldn't. I do. It sucks!! UUUURRRRGGGHHH!! Anyway, I'm letting it go atleast for right now. I am going to try and not think about that place until Sunday, when I will once again go in and work there! And be consumed with the anger I feel when I work there. OKAY....... LETTING IT GO. Breathe. Okay on to other things. I worked from home last night doing the bookkeeping for my new job. I really like that job. I feel both proud of my work and respected at the job. SO it's a much different experience. I am happy when I am doing that work. It sometimes takes me a while to get going and do it, especially since alot of the time I work from home and it's difficult to get started. But when I do, it goes really quickly and I actually am enjoying it. So, that's good. Really good. I also have been babysitting a little more for my friend. I really enjoy doing that too. It's really great and I can do it from home. So that is good too. I don't drive, I mean I have a license and all. I got it when I was 18, but I don't drive. I couldn't afford a car for a long time. Because, I was living on my own from the time I was 19, so it was very difficult to have extra money after rent and food and bills. Anyway, I didn't do it and then it just became part of my life that I didn't drive. I am afraid to drive now. I know that sounds stupid and maybe even is stupid but it's true. I am trying to be honest here. I am embarrassed by the fact... but it is the truth. So anyway, that is that. I don't know how it is for most people but my marraige is like the ocean. It has waves, good and bad periods. We are in a really good period right now. Brian and I, have been feeling really close lately. I think you need to work at a marraige and it's not easy. Infact it is really difficult, but it's worth it!! I am relearning how worth it... it is.
:) Peace... & Love.....

Weekend update... 8-4-07

Hello- today we went to a pool party/BBQ at our friends house. We had a really nice time. Emily is so funny, she didn't want to get in the pool and was afraid and then finally she gets in, finds out she "LOVES IT" and then she doesn't want to get out of the pool. She just wanted to stay in it. I finally told, "Emily-- we can't LIVE in the pool, we have to get out sometime." She thought that was funny, " No- Mommy we can not LIVE in the pool- you're right." I was like, "Thank you Emily". The only negative(sorta)thing about the party was we really didn't know anyone there-- except for our friends that invited us. That's always a little awkward. I think a lot of people that were there felt the same way. Because there were people from her work, and people from his work and some family members and just other friends. We all just stayed in our own little groups. It reminded me of high school. All the little cliques. Since we didn't know anyone at all. We had the smallest clique. It's funny how it doesn't change. Every one stays with their own friends. God forbid if we tried to get to know other people or even GOD FORBID make new friends. That would just be CRAZY. Anyway, It's been great having Brian back although I wonder if he feels the same. I mean, I know he is happy to see us again.... but not to live the mundane routine that is "normal" life. WORK, BILLS, STRESS etc. That is what makes vacations so great. You know. I can't even blame him for not wanting to come back to those things. Tomorrow I work at the deli. My 8 hours of hell. I'm really thinking of quitting it for good. I don't enjoy working there at all, I've been off for 2 weeks and it just has reminded me how much I hate it. Anyway-- I hope another month doesn't go by and I just continue working there--- it's just wasted hours in my life. You know. I am sure a lot of people feel that way and can't just quit. I'm lucky to not need to work at that job and to have the blessing of my husband to just quit. I've been in the situation of HAVING to work at a job I hated and it's no fun at all. Anyway.... I hope that whom ever reads this and is in that circumstance gets a blessing in their life that allows them to leave and pursue something that makes them happy. :) PEACE and LOVE to you.

Homecoming

BRIAN IS HOME.... HOORAY!! He had a terrific time and can't wait to do it again!!! I think the travel bug is now in him, and we are in trouble- Ha!!Ha!!
Anyway, I wanted to share a poem that Brian wrote for me in 1998.


"HOMECOMING"

At times your voice,
Can be enough,
To Bridge the gap of miles.
Always when it's
full of Joy,
So my heart can feel your smile.

But other times
It's not the same,
and the miles feel far and cruel.
When I hear sadness
in your voice,
and I'm not there to comfort you.

I miss your smile
I miss your face
I miss the little things you do.
Yet, It's still a comfort
when I'm gone,
to know you're there to come back to.

By Brian Roach

Family Stuff....

First off, BRIAN WILL BE HOME TOMORROW!!! Yeah... I'm so excited I get to see my hubby again after almost 2 weeks!!! I've been really missing him alot, especially this week. SO I'm really happy he'll be home tomorrow!!! Emily and I have had a very busy week. My mother in law has been visiting NJ this week because she is taking care of my nephews while their parents took a vaca to HAWAII....Aren't they lucky!!! Emily has enjoyed so much visiting with her grandma. It's been really wonderful for her!!! Pat, is a great Grandma to her grandkids. Really loving, and very giving. I wish she lived closer to us, so it was really nice to have her here for a whole week. We squeezed in a lot of activities for the week. We went to Cape May NJ---beautiful. We went to their house for swimming--- 3 different days ( we even got my bro Fernando to go with us one time). We went to the Franklin Institute in Phila. and FunPlex in Mt. Laurel NJ and to dinner a few nights. SO it's been very hectic but fun too. We've had alot of Mommy-daughter bonding these two weeks but I'm happy Brian will be home to give me a little bit of a break. Although, I must admit Emily is a really wonderful child and entertains herself quite nicely. I'm very LUCKY!! This morning I worked at my bookkeeping job, and then BFF and I took all the kids to Friendly's for lunch. It was really a good time. Her baby boy is so cute. He was so good at Friendly's, we are lucky he is such a good baby as we are still able to go out to lunch and do outings with him. He is 4 months old and such a little cutie!!
Don't have any plans tonight but I am happy for the break. Gotta go, Emily wants me to help her make a dump truck... WHAT? Oh well, she is very creative I'm sure we will figure out a way to do it. Oh yes, one more thing... Emily is now writing Chapter books!! Really amazing. My BFF said that JK Rowlings starting writing books at age 6... Emily has been writting books since about 5. I guess we have a future billionaire in our family..... don't worry we'll share the wealth... HA HA. Peace... to all ... :) Missy

Blah... Blah... Blah....

Hello Out there, I just got Emily out of the bath and we are waiting for her hair to dry and then she has to go to bed. So I told her she could play in her room until then and I figure I'll try to squeeze in a quick blog. Since i haven't written anything in 6 days. Well that isn't actually true. I wrote two blogs but didn't post them and then just deleted them because I decided I didn't like them. ONe was about how people could make friends so easily when they are children and how it gets harder and harder as you grow up. Why is that? And the other one I can't remember. Quick Quiz--- what movie did this quote come from..... " Blane, his name is Blane, that's a major appliance not a name" Okay... last night I watched "Pretty In Pink" I LOVE that movie!!! I didn't go to bed til after 2 am!!! It is one of my all time favorites. It touches on all those things that almost everyone remembers from HS. I remember wanting so badly to fit-in, and never ever feeling like I did. I felt alot like Andie did in the movie. I even had a semi-popular boyfriend...my 1st love. I remember the insecurity I felt and the embarressment too whenever I was around his friends. Being from the wrong side of the tracks.. per say. Highschool was torture... I imagine it still is. I think that is why teens now can still relate to that movie. Anyway, Brian is still in Ireland. He's having a blast. I usually talk to him or get an email atleast once a day. I'm missing him and am happy he comes home on Thursday!! I can't wait to see him and hug him!! Okay, it's after 9pm in NJ, I better go and put Emily to sleep. We are going to FUNPLEX tomorrow... never been I'll let you know how it goes. It's like a family fun center with rides and an arcade and stuff. Hope there are things Emily wants to do... Okay well goodnight. :) Peace.

My name is Missy and I am a BLOGGER.

I am always so impressed with people who have talents. As I seem to have none. I mean I am a good/decent person, a loving mother and a faithful wife but I am one of those people that would love to be naturally talented at something. Is there such a thing? I think so, some things come really simple to some people and sure I know that you could work at something and get good at it. But I am not really talking about that kind of talent. I mean people who just "ARE" Artist or "ARE" athletic. They didn't really have to practice I mean sure they do and they get even better but they don't really HAVE too. You know. I am so jealous of those people. I use to buy/ask for all these things so I could try to find something that I was "naturally" talented at. Like I asked for an art easil, becuase I do enjoy painting and creating. I just got really frustrated because it did not come easy to me. I mean I tried briefly and did a few very mediocre/pathetic paintings.... that I would not even hang up in my home for total fear of embarrassment. My husband has always tried to encourage me and ofcourse bought me this very nice easil and now it sits in the closet collecting dust. Which again, guess what? Makes me feel guilty. I reminder of my failure. Also tried scrapbooking, drawing, crocheting, needlepoint, etc... nothing stuck. And I am left with the materials to again remind me of my short comings. So now, my newest venture..... blogging. Hey, it's something... maybe it is here for me and those like me to create even if for themselves alone. I honestly don't care if anyone sees my blog or if they do see it, even like it, because to me this blog matters and gives me a feeling of accomplishment and that is what I have longed for in my other endeavers so I feel mildly contend and in some ways proud that atleast I have found an outlet for my creativity even if it's not Hemingway.... it is "my"writings and occasionally I am proud of a sentence or two that I come up with. It's not often but there are some moments of cleverness atleast in my own mind. I'm not saying I am talented at writing. I am just saying that it is giving me something and I enjoy what it gives me and I am thankful for it--- and it was FREE. No guilt and that is a very good thing.

Blog on Blog

Okay a confession, when I'm bored and been that alot lately... I just randomly check out other people's blogs--- so scandalous ( It's better for my ego-- then saying pathetic ). Just to see what other people are blogging about. Okay, there is such an array of blogs and reasons for blogging. It's quite interesting... I mean there are the bloggers who blog to share with family and friends about what is going on in their lifes, parents who blog as if their newborn is the blogger ( I'm adam-- I'm 2 weeks old, my mommy and daddy really love me....... ) Okay personally I think that is weird but that is just my opinion and it doesn't really matter. Their are the artist bloggers, who's talents are on display, the teenage bloggers whose parents are obviously "not" reading their blogs, nice teenage bloggers whose parents "could be" reading their blogs, the celebrity blogger, the "regular" persons' celebrity blog bloggers, the addict bloggers (drugs, drinking and etc), the recovery blogger( recovering from sickness, illness or addiction), the Porn blogger.... ( self explantory), the party bloggers, the travel bloggers, the writer bloggers, the political bloggers, the "I just moved to a new place" bloggers, the " this is my opinion" bloggers, the joke bloggers, the mobile bloggers- ( they just put up pics from cell phones) and so many more. I'm not sure where my blog would fall. Probably " BORING BLOGGERS"!!! Ha. Ha. But anyway.. This is my blog about blogs and I don't really know why I wrote it but since I did--- I guess you can read it.

An Irish Blessing.....

To my family,my friends & stranger friends... I truly hope this blessing reaches you.


May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

May you live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live.

Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad.
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.
Always remember to forget
The friends that proved untrue.
But never forget to remember
Those that have stuck by you.
Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day.

May the saddest day of your future be no worse
Than the happiest day of your past.

May the roof above us never fall in.
And may the friends gathered below it never fall out.

May you have warm words on a cold evening,
A full moon on a dark night,
And the road downhill all the way to your door.

May there be a generation of children
On the children of your children.

May you live to be a hundred years,
With one extra year to repent!

May the Lord keep you in His hand
And never close His fist too tight.

May your neighbors respect you,
Trouble neglect you,
The angels protect you,
And heaven accept you.

May the Irish hills caress you.
May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.

May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light,
May good luck pursue you each morning and night.

Walls for the wind,
And a roof for the rain,
And drinks beside the fire - Laughter to cheer you
And those you love near you,
And all that your heart may desire!

May God be with you and bless you,
May you see your children's children,
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.

May God grant you many years to live,
For sure He must be knowing
The earth has angels all too few
And heaven is overflowing.

May peace and plenty be the first
To lift the latch to your door,
And happiness be guided to your home
By the candle of Christmas.

May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

today is BORING..

Okay I've been so bored today. NOTHING TO DO!!!! TV sucks and I am in a really lazy mood. I did a few projects this morning....... sorted a bag of random socks that I have, hung up clothes and organized Emily's closet, made potato salad and cleaned up the office. BUT I am just bored now and I don't know what to do. I should find something to do with Emily as she is probably bored too although right now she is watching TV. Which makes me feel like a bad mom. Does every Mom let their kids watch this much TV----- I personally know people that have their TV on constantly and I know we don't but I still know she is watching too much. I am always worrying---- Am I doing all I can for her? Did my Mom worry this much? Does everyone or is just me? Everyone who knows me, will tell ya----it's just me. Ha I occasionally just need to chill and think what is the worst thing that is going to happen..... years from now she will not remember that in the summer of 2007, I allowed her to watch too much TV. Atleast I hope not. God, that would suck!!! I am listening to KT Tunstall.... I LOVE THAT CD. Brian called earlier... sounds like he's having an enjoyable time although he said he was on like a 5 hour shuttle ride from the airport... which he said SUCKED. But when I talked to him last he was trying to find something to eat.... good luck... worried alittle about him finding food he will enjoy there. He is a little picky. Emily is doing good, kids are so resilent. She is acting fine( without Daddy being here-), which makes me glad but also like is that Normal? Again... worrying. I am constantly worrying. I need to CHILL. Seriously. Okay.. well since I haven't really said much of anything in this blog I guess I'll go and be bored in another room... Ha

Brian is up up and away.....

Brian is off to Ireland... he just left NJ and is up in the plane. I'm missing him already and I just said goodbye. I hope he has a wonderful time on his dream trip!!! I LOVE YOU BRIAN if you read my blog while u are gone. See ya in 2 weeks!!!

Hey All

Hello there, Okay it's been really busy and hectic here lately. Brian had to have blood work and a testicular ultrasound done and we had been waiting a week for the results--- VERY STRESSFUL!! We finally found out on Tuesday.... and it was really great news!!! NOTHING REALLY SERIOUS... NO CANCER!! Yeah... we were so releived and excited! Brian can now go on his Ireland trip and not have anything too serious to worry about, he still will have to have 2 hydroceles( a watery cyst on his testicles)taking care of.... ouch. But they aren't really harmful just annoying. We've also been getting Brian's packing done. He leaves on Friday for his dream vacation. I hope everything goes well on it. He said the weather report says rain for the first 5 days and that is soppose to be the sunny part of Ireland---- Oh well he'll still have fun. Hope you have fun, Brian... and miss me!! Anyway on to other stuff.... Yesterday,Emily and I went with our friends to see a local production of Disney's Mulan. It was performed all by kids, between the ages of 8-17 yrs old. It was ALOT of fun and Emily really enjoyed. The last time we were in DisneyWorld, we saw Beauty and the Beast and it was TOO much for Emily... this time she enjoyed all of it! We ( my BFF and I) are considering taking our girls to NYC and seeing a show but we wanted to make sure that we didn't spend over $100.00 on tickets for something Emily would HATE. SO it was nice to know that she was able to enjoy this show. We may go again next Thursday to see "Once upon a mattress" Anyway.. I better go. I'm working at my bookkeeping job today and I need to still take a shower and get ready. Hope u have a NICE day.....................................PEACE! Missy

I am thankful God...
For Emily
For Mom
For Brian
For Fernando
For Family
For Friends
For forgiving me
For forgiving them


I am hoping God....
For health
For happiness
For Healing
For Joy
For forgiveness
For love
For Action
For Strength


I am wondering God....
Why Pain
Why trouble
Why now
Why him
Why me
Why her
Why them
Why not


I am afriad God....
Not enough
Not doing
Not praying
Not worthy
Not feeling
Not being
Not seeing
Not showing

MAJOR STRESS!

I am feeling major stress tonight. Well first, it's like flippn' 95 degrees out and our air conditioner has decided NOT to work. SO JOY... what the F*CK!! Also, my husband is going to the doctors tomorrow and I'm worried about him and how it goes. He's been really really tired for a long time and everyone thought it was just his sleep apnea but then he got a CPAP machine and he was still tired.... so okay more test..... then he was diagnosed with Low testosterone and the medicine he was given for that didn't work and so now he has to see a specialist and I am just worried because I love him and I just want him to feel better and be fine. Also, my husband's Ireland trip is soon and he'll be gone and I'll miss him alot!! My sister is suppose to visit this week and now we have no air conditioning. I mean I know people LIVED without AIR CONDITIONING. But I DON'T CARE..... I'm HOT and IRRITABLE!! I'm so jealous of rich people who don't have to worry about anything materialistic . It's like okay we need this... no problem... money's in the bank. I mean I know that I am a lot better off then some and I do appreciate all that I have. But there is still that green eyed monster who wishes that it was easier. It's like 12:04 am and I should be asleep but I can't because I'm worried. So maybe I'll go eat a chocolate donut and think about all that we need to get done... oh yeah and our dog needs a license and the township sent us a " REMINDER" that it needs to be done or ELSE! Like a need another OR ELSE in my life. I'm sorry I know I'm whining and complaining and just downright in a pissy mood and I'm sorry. Life is hard---- and that really SUCKS sometimes.

WRONG TO HATE? OKAY I DISLIKE PREZ BUSH IMMENSELY

Okay.. I know that usually this blog is a lot of fluff.. I mean it's about my family so it's important to me. But I don't usually go too deep into serious issues like politics, and such. But I've been hearing all this talk about Keith Olberman's commentary on Bush. So I finally watched it... it's just incredible. He voiced so eliquotely what so many of us have been feeling. WOW... if you haven't seen it... please I beg you to watch it on youtube. It's remarkable. I usually can't talk to much or long about George Bush because well to be frank... I get really pissed off. I HATED when he got elected and I knew right away he would not be a good president. I was however one of those people that right after 9-11, gave him a little bit of rope. Considering what our country was going through.... we needed someone and I was willing atleast momentarily willing to follow our leader. Even if "HE" was the leader. Well it didn't last long and I regret the little bit of faith I had put into him at that time. He choked himself with that rope we all gave him at the time. When I think about all of our soldiers that have been killed, or disabled I am so very very sad! And the war just continues and more are dying then every before. So sad. I can't wait until 08' and we get a new president. I hope it's a democrat but I'll take anyone at this point. ANYONE as long as his name isn't BUSH!!